Category: Soul journey

Commitment to Hope

“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without words
And never stops—at all”
—Emily Dickinson

A key component in any transformative life experience, personal or planetary, is hope. Not half-hearted or faint hope, but hope that is steadfast, sturdy, resilient, like that in Emily Dickinson’s poem. Hope within the human soul cannot be extinguished, no matter the hardship or loss. Despite the challenges of life, we humans endure because of that intangible something within us that holds us to life. Yet, there are times when hope seems shaky—as tenuous as a single candle flame wavering in a strong wind. Times such as now, when political discord, a deadly global pandemic, or personal crises erode our belief in a positive outcome. This is when hope is needed most.

Hope requires intention and commitment to keep it alive and well. Especially the latter. Commitment is the strong hand that holds trust in place and points to possibility when surrounded by what seems impossible. Commitment to oneself, to others, and to a greater intelligence that weaves a tapestry of meaning in the seemingly chaotic universe. In our dreams, we envision a better world in which all beings on the planet live in balance, health, and harmony. Those dreams arise from the divine design that shapes our lives on Earth. They are founded in hope.

In day-to-day life, how do we live that commitment, keep it strong within us? It must be part of the weaving of our relationships with family, friends, and our communities. It must live in the smiles among strangers in the streets, the friendly word to grocery cashiers or bus drivers. Commitment is fed by the feedback of connection and loving relationships. Hope grows stronger in our hearts when we feel part of something larger than our own individual lives. When we feel one, not separate. To keep the commitment to hope is to remember that we are not solitary, we are many.

I have been reminded of this repeatedly recently as I face a breast cancer diagnosis and live through the surgery and healing process. Friends and family have been key in keeping me centered in the hope in my own heart and soul. Even in the midst of fears that can accompany illness or disease (or any unknown), hope rises within us and sustains us. The feathered presence that Emily Dickinson refers to has appeared to me again and again in my life, never more than now. No coincidence that birds have been one of my greatest joys throughout the years. Their songs lift my heart and show me the vivid miracles that surround me every day. When I hear a cardinal singing outside my window, I know God is near, both within me and in the external world.

So, whatever your life situation, whatever challenges you are called to face in your life, whatever is going on in the world, look around and see the beauty, see the blessings. Nature, friends, family, the sun that rises each morning—all these call you to hope, for your own life, for all of our lives on this dear blue planet Earth. Listen to the sweet song of hope in your soul and know that each breath you take is a miracle. Commit your life to hope, and it will carry you forward, beyond any challenges, into a profound connection to something greater that your one life, to the oneness of spirit that sustains us all at the deepest level.

Shadows and Light

On August 9, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.* For two days I moved, stunned, beneath the dark shadow of those words, which I never had imagined would apply to me. I felt as if all joy and flow in my life had vanished. I couldn’t access the inner peace that had become so much a part of my daily experience. I couldn’t hear my soul’s voice. I was lost within the dramatic scenarios my mind was playing out, all of them shadowed and sad. I grieved the loss of my connection to spirit, to trust (and perhaps to life). Then a wise friend reminded me that I didn’t have to immediately be at peace, that it was okay to feel whatever I needed to, day by day. The light of peace would eventually return, as long as I remembered not to get caught in the mind drama, and just trust the divine process of it all. He was right.

Shadows and light come and go in our lives. They are the yin and yang of the Earth plane. One can’t exist without the other. We wouldn’t know happiness without sorrow, pleasure without pain. On a planet of polarities, we cannot expect the external world to be only one thing. We might be bored if it were. What we can do is find a place of calm acceptance within us to experience (or observe) all those seeming opposites that fill our lives. From that perspective, all is well, and there is purpose beneath the play of consciousness before us and within us at all times. Eventually, we learn that the opposites flow together into one. The diverse forms that make up our planetary experience arise from formlessness and eventually return to that oneness. This is the nature of the multiverse that we inhabit and that is also within us.

That is wisdom I carry in my soul. At times of crisis in my own life (cancer) or in the world (pandemic), it is easy to forget. Feelings of fear and sadness almost overwhelm me. At the last minute, something or someone appears to remind me. The light shines, and the shadows recede. If I can accept the existence of both shadows and light, I can move forward even in the face of fear, even with sadness in my heart. The human experience is complex and unpredictable. Only in deep inner surrender and trust can we find peace. I signed up for all these life experiences before birth; to resist them is to lose the greater wisdom and purpose of my unique life. I am expanding and evolving through each and every one of them. Our entire planet, our entire multiverse, is evolving through our individual and collective experiences.

I am still on this journey, still facing the unknowns of living with a cancer diagnosis (follow-up MRI yesterday; awaiting results; surgery next week). All this is perhaps a further emptying out within my life, which began in Florida. I know now, with everything in me, that that emptiness occurs so God awareness can fill it. I remind myself repeatedly to remain open to everything that appears to be a loss. More space for God, for divine connection, and for my own soul’s full flowering. There are no mistakes, no terrible errors or punishments. Every single thing, as Rumi wrote, “has been sent as a guide from beyond.”

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*NOTE: I found the lump in my breast myself, only two weeks after a “normal” mammogram. It couldn’t be seen because my breasts are very dense. A subsequent ultrasound picked it up, and I was sent for a biopsy. I am grateful for whatever divine impulse moved me to examine my breasts (which I rarely do) that day because the cancer was found at what appears to be an early stage. So please remember to do breast self-examination–it could save your life!

True Love

The word love sometimes loses its impact from overuse. We apply it to so many situations and recipients: people, food, places, experiences, clothing, cars, etc. In most of these senses, it signifies a strong preference or attachment of some kind. It doesn’t usually mean letting go or allowing, which is the greater sense of love. From a spiritual perspective, complete immersion in love is the highest attainment of a seeker on the path to self-knowledge and God realization. Within that experience, “attainment” and the path itself disappear in profound loving awareness. A deep light of unconditional love shines on everything and everyone, without expectation or judgment of any kind.

Such a love allows the world and others to be exactly as they are without prerequisite or paradigm. This is the way God loves—or whatever name you want to give the infinite consciousness that created the universe. God realization does not mean that you become enlightened or God-like. It means you fully realize that you are already enlightened, already God, and always have been. And so is everything and everyone else. God incarnates on this Earth plane to experience itself in an infinite number of forms. On the soul level, we know we are God; on the personality level, we see ourselves as human and thus flawed/limited. The soul exists in limitless loving awareness, and as each human evolves, they move closer to aligning with their soul and seeing the perfection in all things. They begin to love as God loves; they allow everything and everyone to be as they are.

This is the journey we are on now on this planet. The shift of the ages has placed us all at this time and place to open fully to the true nature of who we are. When you realize you are God and everyone else is too, separation falls away. Hatred and injustice eventually dissolve because there is no “other”; there is only One. You begin to observe the gradual evolution of a world into a more loving inclusive place. Every polarity and extreme is being lived out so that we may come back into balance and harmony. Humans often think the world and humanity are fatally flawed. We want to fix everything through our own efforts and attempts at control, based in hugely different opinions and judgments. But there are no mistakes in God. Every piece of this Earth puzzle is designed to fit together perfectly. The resolution has already occurred; we are just living it out.

That may sound a bit far-fetched or complex, but the day-to-day reality is simple. Love this world and everyone in it with all your heart. Your life is a fleeting experience of divine wonder and connection. Don’t miss it. Don’t miss the miracle of loving so widely that your awareness expands to include the entire universe, micro and macro. This is why you came here. You are God loving God in all its manifestations. And God is loving you through everything as well. You are evolving a planet just by opening your heart, by experiencing life as your soul. Loving awareness is the greatest gift you can experience and you can give. Look around you. Are you truly loving what you see? Do you know you are love itself?

There are no false steps here. Don’t worry about how to give or receive love. Just view every part of your life with wonder and joy. Imagine yourself as a soul seeing other souls, each one glowing with light and presence. The Earth and humanity are being reborn through your eyes and your heart. That is the miracle of true love.

New World, New Lives

The media these days is full of stories of angry disputes between individuals and groups over what each sees as “truth” in the world. Much of it has become centered on making rules/laws about everything from masks to voting restrictions, often from single-minded opinions or self-interest, not mutual caring and cooperation. It seems increasingly hard to believe in the possibility of peace on Earth. Some of us may recall past lives where entire civilizations were destroyed from such conflicts. We had hopeful visions of bringing back a lost world, without the power struggles. But what once was is done. Despite appearances, everything is new this time around.

As compelling as past-life memories are, we did not come back to Earth to recreate Atlantis or return to Eden. Nor to experience an apocalypse. This lifetime is different. Our souls have learned from those ancient experiences, and we carry that wisdom into our lives now. We are here to live into a completely new world, dreamed of for millennia but finally rising into physical form. We thought it might come in 2012, but that was just a breakthrough point. The global crack in unconscious robotic existence that COVID provided was the entry into a more expansive awareness. That open space in which we withdrew into our innermost selves opened the door to living from the heart and not the mind. Hierarchical social and political structures that divide us into warring factions will eventually dissolve. This time we are here to live in peaceful harmony with one another, a balance inherent in diverse circular communities and life-centered relationships.

What we are moving toward is the rebirth of a planet, the emergence of the New Earth. It is not always beautiful or engaging, but among the ruins of constricting lifestyles that emphasized competitive relationships and material possessions is a crystalline dimension of possibility and radiance. It shines brightly here and there and gives each of us hope that the vision we hold deep within us is not an illusion but rather a new beginning we have been evolving into for millennia.

This time we will get it right; we will not self-destruct or annihilate one another and the planet. Our blue Earth is turning golden, slowly but surely. The light of love is rising in the collective consciousness—a sparkling beam that will transform the world from singular self-centered living to connected soul presence. It may sound like a dream or a fairy tale, but more and more of us are seeing these visions of possibility becoming reality. We may not experience the full flowering in our lifetimes, but we are definitely meant to be part of the seeding and awakening.

So when you see news reports of hatred and violence in the world, think of it as the death throes of an old world and a futile attempt to shut out change and transformation instead of embracing it. There is a more compassionate and loving kindness that is gradually gaining momentum and visibility in the collective. Many of the new generations are already living in this dimension, this vibrational field. The old ways have become invisible to them. As consciousness has evolved through millennia, it has increasingly opened our minds and filled our hearts. Each one of us, in every generation, back through the decades to the present day, is playing our part. Imagine a new life and a new world—and live there. Now.

Losing Someone You Love

Last month, a friend I’ve known most of my life passed away after a recurrence of cancer. It was not entirely unexpected, but it happened suddenly and was deeply shocking. I thought she would always be there—an unspoken assumption many of us probably have about close friends or family. We never imagine that they won’t be in our lives. Yet she was gone. And even the most profound spiritual beliefs about life after death cannot entirely prevent the initial heart pain of losing someone you love.

Teddy and I met in college in San Diego in the late 1960s. We were “flower children” together, going to student demonstrations and be-ins and finding our way during a time of radical social change and personal transformation. After graduating, we lived together in San Francisco and then traveled around Europe for five months. We knew each other’s parents, boyfriends, and first jobs. Eventually I moved to the Boston area for graduate school in women’s literature, and Teddy got a degree in art therapy in SF. I returned to the West Coast after a few years but then moved once again back to Boston. Teddy moved to the East Bay and continued to live an alternative life as a dancer, poet, musician, and art therapist. In New England, I was active in the feminist movement, came out as a lesbian, and wrote for various publications.

No matter where we lived or what we were doing, we always remained close friends, “kindred spirits.” Our lives intertwined even from a distance. I met Ron, the man she married and who was by her side at the end of her life. And she met Anne, my life partner, when we visited California. I can still see Teddy’s face filled with such joy as she looked lovingly at the two of us together. In 2014, she flew to Massachusetts to play the flute at Anne’s and my wedding. Having her present was one of the most beautiful, touching parts of that day. Among other songs, she played Joni Mitchell’s “Circle Game,” which we had listened to many years before in college.

Everything does come full circle in life, and everything is ever-changing. If you embark on a spiritual path, as I did (and Teddy did, with her Buddhist practice), you learn impermanence and letting go. “Forever” is a truth, but only within the continuing soul consciousness beyond one lifetime. As a human being, you are born, and your parents love and launch you on your journey around the circle. Mine were the backbone of my life and so much a part of who I became. I feared their deaths all my life; yet when they passed (and I was with each of them), it became one of the deepest spiritual experiences of my life. And so with Teddy’s transition. I knew she was “gone” here in this dimension, but I also knew her spirit could never entirely vanish. On some level, I was comforted in knowing that she, and others I have loved who have died, are “on the other side” of a very transparent curtain. They have not disappeared into a void where I can never again reach them.

The week after she passed away, I could feel her presence unconnected to a physical form. Memories of our shared experiences flowed through my awareness in wave after wave. My human self couldn’t believe she was actually gone, but my soul knew she was still present. This is one of the ironies of life. We understand on some level that people we love are eventually going to die, but when it happens, it is so hard to assimilate. This is part of the soul’s experience in a human body: the appearance and seeming disappearance of life. Loss and grief are so real, so heart-breaking, but in the process we learn that nothing and no one is ever lost, including ourselves. Gradually, over the course of a lifetime, we grow in wisdom, until finally we accept all of life. We learn that death is an open not a closed door.

Or that is my belief, my trusting. That is what my soul, and God, show me is spiritual truth. And the longer I live, the more expansive that awareness becomes, the more I open to whatever comes, in this world and beyond. For ultimately, there is only love in this universe—divine love and human love. And they are one and the same. Indeed, that was Teddy’s last text to me from her hospital bed, just before she transitioned: LOVE. The essence of our friendship and the wisdom of a lifetime. I carry it with me in my heart, always.