Category: Soul journey

Soul Vision

Photograph © 2015 Peggy Kornegger
Photograph © 2015 Peggy Kornegger

There are moments in my life when I become acutely aware that there is a greater Presence behind and within everything. Often it occurs when the beauty of nature opens my heart, and I perceive life with such expansive love that it feels as though God is seeing the wonders of all the world through my eyes. Or, put another way, God seeing God through God’s eyes. In those moments, I feel in the deepest part of my soul that every single thing is divine, inner and outer.

Spirit breathes through us, and when we take a deep breath and know ourselves as that soul force, then we see the miraculous unfold in every second of our lives. We become aware of Spirit—God, the Great Mystery—whenever we let go of thinking and slip into just being. Present-moment awareness, as it is called in meditation practice. When I consciously breathe and drop down into the stillness at my core, the connection between my human self and my soul becomes illuminated and unlimited. At times there is only infinite floating awareness, beyond the boundaries of my physical body. What I was before birth and what I will be after death. In truth, what I am now. What we all are. Our experiences of limitless soul beingness will increase, and we will remember them more and more—until we live in that state of awakened awareness continuously. We are gradually becoming conscious spirit in physical form, what we came here to embody at this key time on planet Earth.

It may sound esoteric and unattainable, but really it isn’t. As growing numbers of us experience moments of deep spiritual connection and consciously integrate them, it will become more accessible and commonplace. It is part of our human and planetary evolution, why everything is unfolding the way it is now—at times chaotic and catastrophic, at times flowing and expansive. Birthing pains include all of these extremes. A new age is being born in our lifetimes, and we are both the midwives and the newly birthed. We are the witnesses and the participants. “We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.” The wait is over; it is happening now.

When I see the world through God’s eyes, my heart fills with so much love and gratitude that tears stream down my face. I feel myself part of something beyond the physical plane, and within that soul vision, life is a streaming flow of birth and death and becoming in which I am one drop of consciousness in the greater eternal consciousness spiraling upward and outward. I am here to be a thread in the tapestry of cosmic creation—to experience and evolve, not to understand or control. The orchestration of the universe is beyond my human comprehension. Yet, there are times when I hear the transcendent notes of the music of the spheres in my soul, and I sense how I am one with everything, seen and unseen, in this extraordinary multiverse we are passing through, on our way home.

 

 

The Age of Authenticity—Coming Out as You

Photograph © 2012 Peggy Kornegger
Photograph © 2012 Peggy Kornegger

We are living in an age of authenticity, one in which we are being called by the spirit within us to be true to our soul selves and to live from a place of love. When my partner Anne and I married a year ago after 31 years together, we were very conscious of stepping into an expansive collective energy of love and acceptance that was unparalleled in our lifetime. Within the time span of our relationship, the world had shifted profoundly in its openness to many different kinds of people, partnerships, and life commitments. The recent U.S. Supreme Court decision for marriage equality throughout the 50 states further demonstrates the power and momentum of these changes. To me, the increasing acceptance of marriage equality is symbolic of a larger acceptance of diversity and individual authenticity in the world.

Even the mainstream media is beginning to reflect this shift in consciousness. In an Ellen interview a few months ago, Jill Soloway, creator of the TV series Transparent, talked about her father, who became a transgender woman at 74, as the inspiration for her show. She explained how trans people are moved to make a break for freedom, for authenticity, to save their own lives. Individuals like Jill’s father have been standing up for their own inner truth within the trans identity for many years now, opening closed doors and closed minds for those who followed.

At this year’s Tony awards, broadcast on national TV, lesbian cartoonist Alison Bechdel’s poignant life story Fun Home won five awards, including best musical. It made history as the first Broadway musical to feature a lesbian protagonist. Alison has humorously chronicled the feminist movement and lesbian life for more than 30 years in “alternative” publications. Her 2006 memoir, which is the basis for the show, brought her national recognition—fascinating to those of us who have read and loved her comic strips for many years. There she was—authentic down-to-earth Alison—on stage at the Tonys, praised as brilliant for sharing her very real life story.

These individuals are living their soul selves. Alison has done it for most of her life; Jill’s father aligned with it later in life. Each of their lives is a sign of something much greater coming into being. Something that will touch all of our lives eventually, in one way or another. We see it played out publicly in the media, but those better-known examples are singular reflections of countless private lives around the globe. The Great Shift we are experiencing now on planet Earth is moving us all to consciously choose change, evolution, and soul truth over prevailing social expectations and outdated behavioral models.

The term “coming out” has historically been associated with the LGBT community and those who have had the courage to live the truth of their lives, even in the face of danger, derision, and ostracism. Now the term appears to be expanding to include all those who are coming to a deeper soul-self awareness and bringing that unique expression out into the world. The rainbow symbol is truly all-inclusive. The LGBT community has been standing strong in our diverse expressions, challenging the sexual-identity status quo, for decades. In so many ways, we have been breaking new ground and speaking out for all those who don’t fit into prescribed social norms, those called “different” for whatever reason.

As new waves of acceptance of diversity of all kinds continue to sweep across the globe, language itself will change. “Difference” will no longer be shunned because we all are different. We won’t have to “come out” because no one will have to be hidden. In the age of authenticity, you, in your most awesome authentic soul expression, will be the protagonist of your own life, loved for your brilliance by all who know you. Applause, applause—for each and every one of us!

 

Let Life Live You

Photograph © 2015 Peggy Kornegger
Photograph © 2015 Peggy Kornegger
There’s a refrigerator magnet I’ve seen for sale in some stores that reads: “You make plans. God laughs.” I love that reminder to let go and allow life to unfold instead of constantly struggling to control it. It’s a reminder I need quite often, as most of us do, I would guess. Our educational institutions teach us very early that working hard and trying are rewardable attributes. “Going with the flow” or using intuitive insight to guide daily activities is just not acceptable behavior within a system geared to the future productivity of adults-in-the-making. In first grade, we even have “Think and Do” workbooks to teach us how to achieve control over our classroom studies. So, by the time we reach adulthood, we are thoroughly conditioned to think a lot and do a lot. We make “To Do” lists every day and try hard to keep life handleable. Never really works, does it?

Life has a way of being messy and out of our control. Plans are continually disrupted by the unexpected in one form or another. What if we could rewind our lives back to first grade and choose a different handbook for life, one called “Pause and Reflect” or “Breathe and Be”? Not completely impossible, if we think of time, and our selves, as infinitely flexible. We can choose to respond differently now and break the old conditioning with conscious awareness. What if you allow life to live you, rather than trying to make life play by your rules?

Lately, I have noticed that I am “allowing” with greater frequency. I watch my life take shape each day as both an observer and a participant. This means that my “soul as witness” is very much a part of my consciousness. From that perspective, I see how “I” fit into what is unfolding. If I look at everything as a divinely orchestrated stream of events, then my own place in it just seems to emerge organically. I don’t have to plan every detail ahead of time; I just respond with awareness to what is before me. I allow life to be a mystery that is opening up all around me. I don’t have to solve it; I just have to experience it. And in truth, that’s all I can ever do. Control is an illusion. We want to believe we have some control because we are frightened of the unknown.

But nothing is known for certain in our universe. Native Americans call it “the Great Mystery” for good reason. Yesterday’s “truths” are pushed aside by today’s “truths,” and tomorrow will debunk them all. What if we could live peacefully with that constant flux, letting every day be a mystery to step into with anticipation and excitement, as though we had front-row seats to a wonderfully innovative new play or film? What if we looked at our lives from that perspective, as both actors and audience? And God as improv coach.

It’s called surrender, a spiritual concept hard to swallow for most people. Yet, if we are to find peace, within ourselves and with one another, perhaps it is something we should consider. It’s not an instant solution to the challenges we all face; it takes practice, surrendering over and over. Still, the more I let go, the more I experience a profound freedom and calm. When you let life live you each day, you can gratefully set aside the endless list of tasks and just be present for it all.

In Silence…

Photograph © 2014 Peggy Kornegger
Photograph © 2014 Peggy Kornegger

We humans express our selves and our lives in words, language, and sound. It is a learned process, reinforced with every generation. We talk our way through each day, sometimes clamoring to be heard above the general din of daily life that seems to have increased over time. Not only human voices but cars, buses, planes, media, and machinery (leaf blowers, snow blowers, etc.) add to the mix that becomes the “noise” we have learned to acclimate ourselves to—more or less. But at what cost? Today, stillness and complete silence often seem like the dream of a long-gone world. Yet, it is only in silence that we can hear the voice of spirit within, our own soul’s wisdom and guidance. Without that compass, we flounder through our lives, stumbling along the ego’s path of alternating attachment and avoidance in relation to all things. We are never at peace, always running toward or away from something. Only in stillness and soul connection can we find respite from that hamster wheel of striving and suffering.

Silence has always been important to me. As an only child, I spent long hours outside quietly playing alone or reading books high up in the branches of my favorite climbing tree. School was a place for friends and social connections; home was where I decompressed and communed with my self, although I was too young to even articulate it that way. As an adult, I found work to also be a “social” experience; when I came home, I needed large expanses of quiet time alone to rebalance myself. At some point, I began to meditate to more easily access that inner harmony. Gradually, I discovered that the longer I spent in silence, the more peaceful I became—and the more I carried that inner peace with me everywhere I went in my life.

My partner and I recently made an agreement to remain silent each morning until we finish breakfast. We finally figured out—after more than 30 years together—that this is the most peaceful way to begin the day for each of us. We both feel less distracted and more centered. When I am talking, I am not listening, period—whether to the subtle sounds of nature outside the window at dawn or to my soul’s voice within. Once I spend time in that inner/outer silent space, I can truly listen to others, and to life, with presence and without restless distraction. My partner and I start our days in a much happier, more harmonious frame of mind because we have given ourselves this gift. Even in the frequently noisy external world we all inhabit, it is possible to find ways to bring more quiet, stillness, and calm to our lives—and thus to the lives of others. In silence is the deepest truth, the most profound peace.

 

Awakenings

Photograph © 2014 Peggy Kornegger
Photograph © 2014 Peggy Kornegger
We live in a time of awakenings—people coming to a greater sense of who they are at the soul level, beyond the ego or personality self. Many spiritual masters throughout history (and, increasingly today, ordinary people) have experienced pivotal moments when they in essence “died” to themselves and awakened to a connection to something greater—God, the Divine, Source. The separate personality-self falls away, and an experience of oneness with All That Is moves to the fore. Sometimes these events involve an actual near-death experience, or individuals can feel like they are physically dying when they are not. Actually, it is the individualized self that is dying, allowing for the dissolution of all separation and the unimpeded flow of pure divine energy and unconditional love.

In these life-changing moments, people begin to live as their soul more than as their ego—a kind of death and rebirth in life. Radical awakenings do not have to be dramatic one-time events, however. Many individuals have a series of awakenings over many years, and this latter process is becoming more widespread now as our individual experiences spark other people’s, and the collective consciousness awakens itself through us. What has been called enlightenment can be instantaneous, gradual, or a combination of both, and we need to acknowledge the unique truths of our own evolving lives—and be open to awakenings that are ongoing, leading further and deeper into divine connection.

Looking back, I see a combination of experiences within my own life—in actuality, multiple phases of awakening, which continue to this day. At 18, I had a near-death experience (burst appendix) in a hospital in Italy on my first trip away from home alone. When I returned to the United States and began my freshman year of college, I felt as if my small-town-girl persona had died in Venice, and I had emerged newly born, trying to figure out who “I” was. From this identity crisis came an individual awakening within the larger generational awakening of the radical 1960s and 1970s. It was an extraordinary time that shaped so many of our lives and planted seeds of fledgling awareness. A sense of global transformation and magical possibility carried us forward into our lives.

Later in my life, I began to consciously explore spirituality as a way to understand life and death and address my own fear of eternity. When my parents grew older and eventually passed away, this search became even more compelling. Sitting beside each of them as they transitioned, I experienced another level of awakening: to an all-encompassing loving Spirit that softly enveloped my parents and me and connected our hearts. Several years after their deaths, when I first met spiritual teacher Panache Desai, I encountered this same divine presence in an even more intense way. It came directly through him and vibrationally shifted everything within me. At one of his gatherings, in deep meditation, I experienced myself as pure, intense inner vibration, my soul’s essence within the physical body—cells pulsating with an almost electric charge. It was an extraordinarily powerful opening to spiritual awareness. Frequently thereafter, I would feel the loving presence of the Divine, and it always brought tears to my eyes and shivers to my physical body.

Over the next few years, I kept moving forward, sensing there was more awakening to come but having no idea what that would mean. Eventually, I stood in a raw place of “not knowing,” letting go of mental questioning and attempts to figure everything out. Essentially, I embraced the “Great Mystery.” If Oprah had asked me, “What do you know for sure?” I would have had to answer, “Nothing.” Only mystery. Yet that mystery is everything—God her/himself, the Divine in infinite beingness. Indefinable. Our minds can’t know Spirit, but our hearts can experience it through our souls. This is the global awakening we are in the midst of, each of us affecting all those around us. In this amazing time of profound planetary metamorphosis, we are individually and collectively awakening to the sweet mystery of our own inner spirit. Together, we breathe soulful conscious presence into the world.