Tag: connection

Tears as Blessings

Photograph © 2015 Peggy Kornegger
Photograph © 2015 Peggy Kornegger
Adults often reprimand children when they cry (especially boys), believing that tears make them weak or too vulnerable. Children carry that judgment into their adult lives, but it is just not true. On the contrary, vulnerability is one of our greatest human assets. It connects us to others through the heart, and crying opens everyone’s heart, including our own. It is truly a blessing. The time has come for all of us—adults, children; men, women—to recognize this and give one another support and encouragement for showing our emotions openly through our tears.

Tears can express not only sadness or grief but also a profound emotional response to music, poetry, or an inspiring speaker. We can be moved by spring flowers and birdsong or the memory of a shared experience with a loved one. Almost anything can bring tears to our eyes, including empathy with someone else’s pain, sorrow, or good fortune. And that is where our humanity serves us best, in showing compassion for and connection with others’ life journeys. We can only do that if we have allowed ourselves to fully experience our emotions about whatever shows up in our own lives. If I can feel everything to the fullest extent in my life, including both pain and joy, then my heart can openly recognize your experience as not unlike my own. I becomes we. That is oneness.

When I was given a rather scary eye diagnosis recently, it was the compassion and caring of friends and family that made all the difference. So many people reached out to me to show me that I was not alone, that they too knew what I was going through, whether or not they had experienced the exact same thing or not. Because of these loving connections, I was able to open to my own sorrow and fear and then find some equilibrium in the midst of all the ups and downs of different diagnoses and future unknowns. As this particular journey continues, I am still held in that space of sweet empathy and friendship, and I continue to learn at deeper and deeper levels about how key crying is in my life.

Just in the past couple of weeks, I have come to realize how much we hold back our tears, not only because of the social prohibition against crying but also because of the magnitude of the grief we carry within us for all of humanity’s suffering. A friend shared with me her own experience of noticing tension behind her eyes when she attempts to hold back her tears and not feel something. As we talked, we both came to better understand how profoundly we had been affected by trying to live love in a world that does not value love and in fact acts in opposition to it. I was suddenly aware of the dramatic connection between my eye situation and an unconscious effort to hold back tears arising from a deep level of sadness within.

I am someone who cries easily (thanks to my parents’ loving emotional openness), yet there were still unshed tears inside me, which I finally traced back to my 6-year-old child self: a sensitive, shy little girl afraid to go to school in the daytime, afraid of eternity at night, and recurrently sick with asthma, flu, and various childhood ailments. When I let go into crying for/as this child, it opened the door to a more universal grief that I believe applies to every child on the planet: that of not being able to fully live the open loving soul selves we are born as. From Day 1, we are presented with a world full of pain and suffering within which we are supposed to function in prescribed ways. In addition, we are expected to accept certain global insanities such as war and hatred as inevitable and not react to them. Enough to drive any child’s tears deep underground!

As a young woman, I experienced several years of serious depression about the state of the world. In engaging with various social/political causes and, later, through expansive spiritual connection, I found a way to cope with it all. Yet, here I stand now, at a crossroads of awareness, knowing that this eye crisis is providing me with the opportunity to integrate everything at a new level and courageously move forward as the authentic soul self I was born to be. My friend and teacher Panache Desai has told me to let it “work its alchemy,” and I am doing so. I know with everything in me that, in all our vastly divergent individual lives, this is where we all are. We are here to cry the tears that allow our past long-suffering “adjusted” selves to dissolve and our true soul selves to emerge clear and clean as the day we were born. And is that not the blessing of a lifetime?

 

The Unexpected

Photograph © 2013 Peggy Kornegger
Photograph © 2013 Peggy Kornegger
Crises or challenges enter our lives unannounced, sometimes in the midst of great happiness or peaceful contentment. A relative dies, a life partner loses a job, or you yourself receive a frightening health diagnosis. The latter happened to me a few weeks ago, and I am still regaining my equilibrium after the impact of it. In each of these scenarios, we are facing the unknown—life without a loved one, life without income, life without optimal health. In my case, the diagnosis was about my vision (inflammatory eye condition), which was shattering to me because I love the world through my eyes. I celebrate its beauty and wonder, its miracles. I am also a writer and a lifelong avid reader. What would I do if I lost my full range of vision, this deep connection to the world around me?

We take so much for granted in life. Our ability to walk, to hear, to see, to touch and taste—all such incredible blessings. If we lose any one of them, even temporarily or partially, it is shocking. We feel vulnerable, uncertain, fearful. And unfairly robbed of something so integral to human life—seemingly. Yet, so many individuals live without complete access to one or more of these abilities, and they live full rich lives grounded in gratitude. Yes, you may say, but I don’t want to face that kind of challenge. That is the kicker. We want, and expect, life to be a certain way, and we are devastated when it is not. We learn over time—if we are wise, if we are open—to accept “what is” as life unfolds before us, moment to moment, completely outside of our control. Because if we do not, we suffer, and we hang on to our suffering.

Loss is part of each of our lives here on Earth. We don’t escape a lifetime without being touched by some kind of sadness or pain. But extended suffering is optional. We can grieve without holding onto the sorrow tightly and tormenting ourselves with “what ifs.” We can allow the tears to flow through us and cleanse us of our grief. Every emotion we have, if experienced fully, can free us of suffering. If I can let life be whatever it is, my suffering softens and eventually dissolves. If I sit quietly in stillness, I get in touch with the calm peace that resides at my core. I often find this to be true yet learn it anew with each challenge that arises. In this case, my eyesight. The situation continues to be filled with unknowns, and each new doctor’s appointment brings more shifting realities—and more waiting (to see if any change occurs). I find I have to repeatedly dig deep for patience and acceptance. I move forward one step at a time, reminding myself to feel everything and still remain open.

Dear friends and family, and one particularly kind doctor, have also helped me tremendously.* Again and again, the empathy of friends and strangers alike brings me back to some sense of balance and relationship to everything. Because not all of life is loss or fear of loss. Life is also connection. There is so much beauty and love in the world everywhere, visible and invisible. Other people reached out with kindness and caring when I most needed it. Love guides us out of solitary sadness and isolation and shows us our commonality with all of humankind. The sweet tenderness of shared experience, of heartfelt understanding and compassion, makes life worth living. That is why we came into this lifetime—to feel that essential oneness in the midst of our separate life challenges, our fears and our sorrows. We are here to love one another into wholeness—one whole human family, living unpredictable, uncontrollable, but always deeply connected lives.

*My heart’s deepest gratitude especially to Panache, James, and my partner Anne for their love and support.

Jump!

Photograph © 2016 Peggy Kornegger
Photograph © 2016 Peggy Kornegger
Leap frog. Hopscotch. Jump rope. Relay races. Tree-climbing. Gymnastics. Children’s games are full of jumping, leaping, running, climbing. Stretching to the edge of risk–and laughing all the way. Somehow, as children, we trusted the momentum of the play we engaged in, so that even if we fell, we got right up again and continued on with scraped knees and elbows. For the most part, we weren’t held back by hesitation or fear, but instead were drawn forward by curiosity, wonder, and the urge to explore/experience everything. A good game was an adventure, and nothing else mattered in the timeless magic of childhood.

Somewhere along the way to adulthood, we were introduced to caution, the handmaiden of fear. Many of us became less willing to take risks, to totter wildly at the edge of uncertainty and then jump. Once we became adults, even if we did choose risk or risk chose us, we still held onto a desire for some kind of control in the midst of it. Over time, the Jump impulse atrophied inside of us.

Fear of great loss at any level, physical or emotional, can keep us frozen within our lives. Yet it is in walking through that fear (or jumping into the middle of it) that we find freedom and liberation from the wish to control. The walking or jumping is an act of courage, but it also is an act of complete surrender. When we let go of everything and turn our trust over to something greater, that something greater (call it God, Spirit, Source, whatever) lifts us into the flow of life’s currents, and we are carried to exactly where we were always meant to be.

I recently returned from a weeklong program called “Dynamic Peace” in Santa Barbara, California, which was essentially a deepening into greater soul emergence/evolution in the world. In going, I knew I was taking a leap of faith on multiple levels, especially budget-wise. I broke through many mental constraints in choosing to go, knowing in my heart that I had to keep stretching myself further and further—to jump yet again. To be honest, I couldn’t NOT go. My soul was loudly and insistently whispering in my ear that I had to be there. So I stepped into the flow of life and flew westward to California to embrace risk and expansion into the unknown. As I walked by the Pacific Ocean every day, I could feel its power and deep peace fill me. I knew that it was that very blend of power and peace that would always sustain me in my life, wherever I was. Looking down at the crashing waves from a sandy cliff, I understood that it was not one jump before me but many–a kind of sustained, endless free fall. Let go and let life, the eternal lesson.

You can’t think your way to letting go nor can you force yourself into it. When you stand alone on the edge of a precipice and consciously choose to let go completely, that letting go creates the jump that brings you over the edge into infinite possibility. It is a sweet fusion of action and surrender that creates the dynamic of full engagement with life. And that is exactly where we find ourselves now on this planet that is undergoing a major shift in consciousness. As the world rapidly changes all around us, we are being asked, as fully conscious human souls, to release the past, trust in the present, and act from a place of love and connection with all beings. Our heart-informed actions are the “jumps” that will lead us into more fully integrated and holistic lives. Lives that are intertwined with each other in the most loving expression of oneness yet lived out on our planet.

Ultimately, we are not here on Earth to be cautious or hold back. We are here to live our soul-selves full out and jump with open hearts into an expansive future that is unlike any that has come before. So what are you waiting for? Take a risk. Take a deep breath: Jump! And then jump again….

Ask Yourself…

Photograph © 2015 Peggy Kornegger
Photograph © 2015 Peggy Kornegger
Growing up in a top-down society like ours, we learn very early to look to others for answers. Parents, teachers, bosses, presidents, religious leaders—we are taught that they have the answers, and we should follow their direction. God too is often presented to us as an external figure, a man sitting up in the sky somewhere who knows everything and whose commandments we should follow. Yet, so many of those directives and rules are man-made, created to keep people in line, keep them from questioning authority of any kind, so that the top-heavy status quo remains in place. But what if there is no authority higher than you? What if God, or infinite divine wisdom, lives inside you, inside all of us?

Gradually, cracks in the old infrastructure are appearing. As humans begin to awaken, they are realizing that they don’t want to be told what to do in every part of their lives. They want a responsive and interactive social structure. They want freedom and equality, not just lip service to it. In truth, genuine freedom and equality come into being when each person lives a life centered in authenticity, inner soul wisdom, and deep regard for and love of others. This is the world we are stepping into. These are the shifts in collective consciousness that are occurring on our planet. We are learning to look within for answers, share our insights with one another, and then create together a society that is based on egalitarian values and open-hearted kindness: each individual in balance with the whole, no one person more important or powerful than another.

How do we begin to live this day-to-day? How do we unlearn dependency on everything outside of us? I would suggest that it starts with a regular practice of looking inside ourselves for guidance. You probably have heard of the “higher self,” that entity that is connected to Source or Spirit. The higher self—or soul self, as I call it—is not just a new age concept. It is the part of you that is eternal, and more open and wise than the ego/mind, which tries so hard to figure everything out logically. The rational mind likes to organize, label, follow the rules; the soul exists in a place of pure being and divine connection. When we look to our soul selves—and in conjunction, our hearts—we are guided to the most expansive and loving responses to life and living.

In my own life, I am finding that soul guidance and heart wisdom are ever-present touchstones for living with integrity, joy, and deep regard for others and our beautiful planet. Lately, when challenges or conflicts arise in my internal or external life, I sometimes ask myself two key questions:

  • Do you want to live in fear or do you want to live in love?
  • Do you want to live in judgment or do you want to live in gratitude?

My soul’s answers to these questions are always quite clear and unequivocal. There is no doubt that the part of me that is infinite, eternal, and connected to All That Is wants to live from a place of love and gratitude. That doesn’t mean that I never experience fear or judgment; it just means they don’t predominate and crowd everything else out. When I remember to ask these questions (and it is a practice), I re-center myself in what is really important in life, in that which brings us all together rather than separates us. From the perspective of the heart and soul, there is nothing but oneness always; it is just our perceptions, our mental machinations, that tell us otherwise.

So, if you find yourself mentally spinning or emotionally off-kilter, at odds with life, take a deep breath and ask yourself, your soul self, for the answers. Come home to the deepest part of you. Whatever arises from that place is your own inner wisdom. It is uniquely yours, connected to the greater spirit of all things, and it will guide you perfectly throughout your life.

Soul Reunion

Photograph © 2015 Peggy Kornegger
Photograph © 2015 Peggy Kornegger

Last month I attended my fourth Global Gathering with Panache Desai in Orlando, Florida. At these events, hundreds of people from around the world gather for what is in essence a reunion, even though many have not yet met one another in person. Some individuals know each other from Facebook, others from past gatherings; still others have had no previous contact at all. Yet the one thing that becomes clear very quickly is that every single person there is a member of a greater soul family who is reuniting. This year’s gathering, “The Power of Community—Coming Together as One,” was the most profound and transformational of any I have attended, and that’s saying quite a lot.

Panache’s view of the current shifts and changes on Earth, which is at the core of his gatherings, is far beyond mere speculation or forecasting. The divine wisdom that flows through him opens into an expansive perspective that is grounded in oneness and community. Basically, we are human souls here to evolve, and the exquisitely woven tapestry within which that occurs provides the context for our constantly shifting lives. Everything is unfolding perfectly for our souls’ and the planet’s greater evolution. Beautiful words, you may say, but are they true? As I live that truth more and more each day, I can only answer, “Yes.”

Over the past four years, my own personal journey has been one of opening to all that I am, all that I came here to be, expressed uniquely in the world. As I share my inner soul self through my writing and in my life, I am one voice, one starburst of life energy, within a continuously evolving collective consciousness. Each of us is integral to this process; each of us has a part to play—really an essence to BE. For more than doing, it is about being. At this year’s Global Gathering, there were artists, musicians, writers, dancers, teachers, tech experts, scholars, financial planners, energy workers, nurses, performance artists, activists, poets, singers, retirees. Parents, grandparents, children. It didn’t really matter what job title or role the world had assigned us. In truth, our lives, fully lived, are the heart of who we are. We were born at this time to love those around us and to be a loving presence in a world often fraught with division, polarity, and fear. Our hearts guide us as we navigate the birthing pains of a new way of being human on Earth.

At GG15, we came together in community for a completely experiential weekend of deep meditation journeys; full-out rave dancing to every kind of music from rap to rock to Disney; intense heart-to-heart interactions; and nonstop “vibrational transformation,” as Panache calls it. Change at the cellular level. Throughout it all, our souls were in silent communion with one another. Oneness and unconditional love permeated everything, even painful breakthroughs and emotional releases. There seemed to be no closed doors within our consciousness. All separation fell away. Language itself fell away. We were emptied out of everything that had come before and filled with infinite divine awareness. From that space, each human face was beautiful, eyes radiating love, no words necessary.

Synchronicities led us from one miraculous moment to the next. Those whom we encountered outside our program seemed to step into their own inner radiance, reflecting back to us all that we were experiencing ourselves. I found this to be true on my return to Boston as well, making soul connections with friends and strangers at unexpected moments. My heart was filled with tearful gratitude and appreciation for every person and every aspect of life, even the upcoming winter and longer hours of darkness. Each morning I awoke in awe at the miracle of being alive. Sounds like a cliché, but that’s exactly what I felt.

This is what we are all living into. Not vacuous bliss without any sadness or fear, but the full spectrum of human emotion and experience, held in our collective hearts as precious and unrepeatable. When we come together and meet at the level of our souls, the reunion and communion that arises carries us forward into our individual lives embodying a greater spirit of oneness and community. We are no longer separate and alone, pitted against one another and alienated. Looking into each other’s eyes, we see our common humanity and divinity. Heart to heart, we are connected; we are in harmony. We are One. This is what I experienced at Global Gathering 2015, and this is the wave of inclusiveness and love that is now emerging planet-wide from countless sources. We are not alone. We never were.