Tag: heart

Finding Softness in a Hard World

We are constantly bombarded these days with images of violence, conflict, fear, and hatred, whether on the news or in films and TV shows. Varied voices surround us, advocating anger and defiance or peace and compassion—or all simultaneously. Each voice belongs to a human being wearing an identity costume that hides their vulnerability. As individuals and as a people, we are in distress. The world seems on the brink of destruction. Yet in the midst of it all, there are also voices that remind us that this is a transformative transitional time, foretold in ancient cultures. We are not here to perish but to prevail, as spirit, as light.

Sound like a fairy tale? A fabricated distraction that feeds inertia? I don’t think it is. Perhaps belief in a greater purpose to life and living will be what gives us strength and stamina to continue to live love and hope in a world divided into fragmented sectors of adversity and suffering. Birth pains bring new life into being. Thunderstorms and floods are often followed by rainbows and clear air. Not everything is as it appears on the surface. A hard shell covers a soft center.

If we choose soft instead of hard in every situation, we engage the softest part of us, the heart. And the heart, through which the soul is expressed, is also the strongest survival tool we have. The greatest sages through the ages spoke of the wisdom and power of loving-kindness. In the face of life or death, be loving, be kind. Ask, “Can I help you?” One small gesture or word, amplified, can shift the consciousness of a planet. This is why we came here. Not for the easy ride or the simple tasks, but for the challenge of speaking the softest words and offering the gentlest touch in times of fear or trauma.

On any given day, we have that choice, we have that soul responsibility. When the entire world feels harsh and unfeeling, remember the power of your heart and soul and the reason why you (and all of us) were born.

Patience, Peace, Kindness

These words have become my “mantra” lately. A summation of what I wish to focus on as I live my life moment to moment, day by day, year to year. The three work in tandem, each informing and amplifying the others until together they become an unbroken and unbreakable whole. When I am at peace, I usually feel patient; when I am both peaceful and patient, I am more inclined to be kind. We sometimes forget that these qualities are within us all.

Patience: Major life events, such as waiting for results of a medical test or for news about a possible job offer, require patience. I also find that I need to engage with patience daily on a smaller scale. When I’m cleaning up spilled food or a glass dropped on the kitchen floor, I have to pause and remember that this accident is very small in an overview of the day’s events. When someone says something that triggers irritation in me, I take a deep breath and step off the inner thought train leading to needless anger. There are countless times throughout the day when patience is the wisest response, with the happiest outcome. May I remember that.

Peace: If there is noise outside my windows or upsetting news on the TV, I try to remember that peace is an internal experience, not dependent on external circumstances. This is a big one because the peace that we carry within us radiates outward to circle the globe. It begins with each of us. Resentment, irritation, and anger feed on themselves to become friction and fighting between friends and eventually countries. If we truly want world peace, we have to get in touch with the core of peace in our souls and live it fully with each breath we take and with each person, friend or stranger, we encounter in our lives.

Kindness: If I were asked to name one quality that could make our planet a more harmonious place, I would say “kindness.” Kindness engages the heart, and the heart is sourced in pure love. If we are continuously kind, we gift those around us with love, which touches their hearts as well as our own. Together, we move forward in life as one, not separated into opposing “sides.” A kind word or gesture can make someone’s day; a smile can lift the spirits, given and received. It’s easier than you think to shift the energy all around you to a positive vibration.

Of course, the key is to remember. That’s why I have made these three words into an inner “mantra” that I repeat inside my mind and heart as much as possible. With every repetition, they become more deeply a part of my daily life. It’s only my own forgetfulness that excludes them.  If you and I realize that patience, peace, and kindness are exactly what we would like to receive ourselves on a regular basis, then that could be a springboard to remembering. And in remembering, gratitude too fills the heart, encompassing all three.

“This Is the Best Day of My Life”

Sometimes bits of life wisdom show up in quite unusual places. I’m not really a fan of so-called “reality” TV shows, but I have to admit that I have always found “Amazing Race” to be compelling to watch. Pairs racing around the world, doing various complicated and strenuous activities and tasks, competing to win $1 million. If nothing else, it’s a study of human behavior under stress. And also, most interesting to me, some very clear illustrations of how people live their lives: driven by a compulsion to always “win” at any cost or filled with the joy of experience itself. This season two young gay men illustrated the latter in a beautiful way. They are best friends, gamers, who love to play Dungeons and Dragons, so when, during a segment in Portugal, one was asked to don knight’s armor as part of his task, he exclaimed with absolute beaming delight: “This is the best day of my life!” So much happiness in just playing. I loved it.

Meanwhile, another contestant constantly complained in anger and disgust whenever he and his wife were not in first place along the way. He seemed extremely unhappy a lot of the time. A life lesson there, in those two responses. True, it’s a contrived “game” in which people are in competition to win an excessive amount of money, but the reactions of the two participants, each so different, gave me pause. I realized anew that I want to live life in celebration and not complaint.

It’s not difficult to find things to complain about these days, whether it’s increasing political conflict, physical or emotional pain, or any one of a number of life difficulties. I know that I have complained about many of them. Yet I don’t want to live my life that way. In my heart and soul, I know that life is a blessing, and there is so much to be thankful for. I need reminders at times, though, and this particular show was one—loud and clear. I thought immediately of Anne’s and my wedding day (June 2014 at Auburn Lake), where friends and family from across the country gathered in love to celebrate with us. At the end of the day, I said to Anne, “Today is the happiest day of my life.” She agreed with all her heart.

It doesn’t have to be a wedding or a TV show to remind you to see the miracles in every moment, no matter what else is going on in the world. God finds all kinds of ways to wake us up at the most unexpected times and center us in appreciation. A passing comment or an act of kindness from a friend or stranger; an out-of-the-ordinary event that moves you to tears of gratitude. For me, it’s often the sights and sounds of Nature, especially birds. There’s always room for more heart expansion, love, and compassion, if we can only remain open and accepting of all of life, however it appears. Every subtle or obvious reminder is a gift. My greatest wish now is to begin each morning remembering: “This is the best day of my life!”

You’re Not Alone

These are the most comforting words you can hear, whatever you are going through. A friend recently said that to me when I was describing something challenging in my life. We then talked together about what a huge support it is when someone listens deeply and lets you know you are not alone in what you are feeling. It makes all the difference in the world. If we could only remember to hold that compassion in our hearts at all times. And to speak it without hesitation whenever we can.

The human journey through life is not an easy one. There can be extremes of sorrow as well as joy. We may lose loved ones, jobs, homes, a sense of purpose. At times we struggle to understand the meaning of all the events and experiences that pass by us in such rapid succession. Yet, in the midst of difficulty or confusion, love and friendship are a steadying force. Our friends and family are our north stars, lights in the darkness that appear when most needed. Three years ago when I was receiving treatment for breast cancer, loving friends and family surrounded me, and their steadfast presence helped me to remain peaceful and positive throughout. When my parents passed away many years ago, friends from childhood as well as my current life reached out to share memories and empathy, knowing that as an only child, I felt particularly alone. Repeatedly they reassured me that I wasn’t.

I’ve been laid off from jobs, lost my rented apartment when the house was sold, come to the end of relationships, and lain awake at night frightened about death and the unknown. At all those moments, it was the voices of those closest to me who reminded me of how life is more than loss or uncertainty. It is also love and connection, which can be stronger than any sadness or fear. “You’re not alone” are the words that touch our hearts and souls at the deepest level in our most vulnerable moments. Conversations in which we share similar feelings and experiences see us through because we are no longer lost within aloneness or solitary suffering.

So next time you feel frightened, sad, or that life is not worth living, pause for a minute and remember that you can always reach out to a friend to express some of what you are going through. You may find that they have felt, or are feeling, very similarly. Within that connection is life itself, a renewal of spirit that touches you both and gives you the strength to continue with a fresh outlook on everything.

 And, if you recognize unease or sadness in someone you know, don’t be afraid to show them that you are by their side, that you understand. Compassion is our greatest human gift, and the more we share it, the more it grows and fills the world around us with loving-kindness and caring. With each dawn, Mother Earth herself tells us “You are not alone.” May we live that wisdom throughout our lives.

Rewriting the Lyrics of Our Lives

Songwriters sometimes rewrite their lyrics to expand or change perspective. Today, we are all called to rewrite how we see ourselves and our lives in the 21st century, to be more truthful, more inclusive, more expansive, more heart-centered. Not only in the U.S. but everywhere in the world. We think we belong to countries, to nationalities, to races, to religions, to belief systems. In truth, we are none of those. We are immigrants on this planet, traveling here from somewhere in the cosmos to sing our human songs. We think we have identities as we move from place to place. Those identities arrive at birth and depart at death. What is left is a soul, traveling light. In a rewrite of the lyrics of our lives, the words will fall way and there will be nothing but that light.

The longer I live, the less I hang onto. Even the language I use to describe my own feelings and thoughts flows through me but doesn’t really stick. It is spirit speaking in the mother tongue of my soul, and I am just a vessel through which it pours. Each of us is. We are souls passing through. We speak and listen, but it is our hearts that discover the deepest wisdom, in silence, in love. Human/soul connection beyond lifetimes.

When those we love pass from this dimension to another, life can take on a limitless, ethereal quality. Memories are both close and distant, bright and dim. Everything merges into one somehow. I miss my parents and friends who have died, but they are also with me. Life on Earth is what we shared, but there is something larger than those lives that holds us together in ways that are outside of language or description. Infinite consciousness.

In recent years, I find myself floating in the intangible: something as fleetingly beautiful as a morning sky or a summer’s sunset. And it is not just one thing. It is everything. I walk but really I am carried. Music carries me. Birdsong carries me. Poetry carries me. Love carries me. I speak but I am speechless. The lyrics of my life rewrite themselves without any effort on my part. They are both vivid and neutral. They shift with the changes in light and sound and being.

In the end, it is grace that carries us. We are part of something we can only sense but not fully articulate. Early in life, we are immersed in the wonders of living. Death is distant. Then it comes closer, perhaps touches us in a sudden unexpected way. It is then that we begin to see a wider view. The lyrics we have written to describe our lives no longer entirely fit. We realize that at the deepest level, all of us, no matter our background, race, or beliefs, share a common destiny and are woven from common threads. The tapestry of life on Earth enfolds us in its wondrous complexity. When we finally see that fully, “lyrics” fall away, and there is nothing left but the grace of being and interbeing.