Tag: soul

Moon, Stars, Infinity

When astronauts landed on the moon in 1969, I was barely out of my teens and more interested in my life on Earth than what was happening in outer space. Everything seemed somehow different, however, when I looked at the photographs the Artemis II astronauts recently took of the moon’s surface, with distant Earth barely visible over the horizon. I was awe-struck by that visual: infinity perceptible to the human eye. Our home planet looked so tiny in the vast cosmos; our individual lives miniscule. Yet all of it was somehow of a piece; I could sense the oneness that connected everything. Perhaps an indication of how far I had lived since 1969.

I grew up frightened of infinity, all that stretched beyond my lifetime into eternal time/space. Late at night before sleep, thoughts of infinite nothingness caused a “brain freeze” in my child’s mind. As the years passed, I gradually learned to distract myself from those thoughts, although they never entirely disappeared. It was only when I began a spiritual journey in my 30s that I opened the door slightly to a different view of the universe.

Eventually, I was able to see infinity as Spirit, as Light, which lives within and all around us throughout eternity. What once seemed terrifyingly empty gradually became softer, almost comforting if I observed it through my soul’s eyes and not my mind. When I went through breast cancer treatment five years ago, my experience of all-inclusive Spirit became even deeper and more expansive. I could see my physical form as temporary and my soul, which was viewing it, as eternal, infinite.

Perhaps we all go through this evolution in our lifetimes, each in our own unique way. Every human life is a doorway to the infinite, and ultimately we realize how blessed we are to experience it. As I stared at the Artemis images of the moon, Earth, and stars, I could literally feel my heart open to infinity, to my own beingness within it and as it. We each come here to experience a version of continuous awakening to that awareness, perhaps not completely until the moment of our death. But actually it is always present.

Our humanity holds divinity within it, and we are multidimensional beings. The universe itself is multidimensional. It cannot be understood or explained by human mental effort, but rather only experienced through moments of profound opening, in Nature, in crisis, in love, in life/death circumstances. Suddenly, everything is everything, and we are One with it all.  An infinite kaleidoscopic tapestry of light and love. This is the view from space as well as from our own souls. We are the moon, the stars, and all of infinity, living one precious life on an extraordinarily beautiful blue planet, shining light in the darkness of the cosmos.

On My Way Through…

“Maybe all we really are is spirit, the spark that draws people to us, the trail we leave behind.”
—Steve Thomas, Spirits Passing Through

In the past couple of years, several friends of mine have passed to the other side, the inevitable destination we call death. In grieving their loss and in contemplating my own future transition, I’ve felt myself coming into a different awareness of living and dying: less specific, more undefined and free-flowing, without parameters. We know so little of what life and death actually are. We think of them as a beginning and an end, but that’s a mental construct. What if there is only Presence, which never begins or ends; it just is? What if humanity itself is one Spirit, made up of sparks that together constitute life on Earth?

I remember my deceased friends as the spirit they embodied in their human forms: dancer/poet, musician/painter, sculptor, political activist. Yet now, they feel greater than those particular creative expressions, more inclusive of all consciousness, within and beyond their individual lifetimes. The longer I live, on my way through the human experience, the more I too feel greater than my physical form and its expressions. I am a writer, but what I write comes through me not from me. And the love I feel for my friends and for my life has no beginning or end. There is an infinite Presence that permeates everything and everyone and stretches to the farthest reaches of the cosmos, and beyond.

I guess what I’m trying to describe is soul, which is at the core of all human beingness and makes itself known through the heart. When I love my life partner, a close friend, a beautiful poem, or a bird singing at dawn, my soul’s presence moves through me into the world. It becomes one with all I see and hear. Soul defies description, yet it fills the world with light endlessly. Our souls came to Earth to be embodied light, to individuate oneness for a lifespan and then flow back into the One.

Perhaps the longer we live, the more we touch on moments of awareness that stretch beyond habitual parameters and open us completely to the universe. Actually, we are the universe, all of it. The universe lives as our souls throughout life, death, and eternity. We know this fully when we die, but that wisdom is within us now. And our life experiences bring it forth. As my life unfolds, the door to infinity opens wider and becomes more welcoming, less frightening. I can see myself and every one of us as infinite spirits of Presence, on our way through, together….
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Note: Thank you to my good friend Steve Thomas for the wonderful quote from his CD Spirits Passing Through.


Musical Voices: Poetry and Song

My parents took me to my first live musicals in Chicago (My Fair Lady and The Music Man) when I was 10. Around the same time, my aunt and uncle gave me my first book of poems, by e.e. cummings. I couldn’t have asked for a better introduction to musical theater and poetry. Over the years, the voices of countless singers and poets have filled my life with so much joy and inspiration. Recently, I’ve been listening nonstop to two extraordinary artists: spoken-word, nonbinary poet Andrea Gibson and Broadway actor/singer Jonathan Groff. My heart gives a standing ovation every time I hear one of them.

Last summer Anne and I rode the train from Boston to New York to see the biomusical Just in Time, with Jonathan Groff in the title role as singer Bobby Darin. The show was so spectacular that we went again in January! I keep playing the studio recordings, reliving the music and the sweetness and power of Jonathan’s vocals. In December, I came across the film Come See Me in the Good Light, the story of Andrea Gibson’s life and recent death from cancer. I also discovered numerous live poetry performances on their website. Andrea’s melodic speaking voice and wise words about life and death are mesmerizing.

There is something both human and heavenly flowing through these two; I feel their voices vibrating within me (goosebumps!), and I want to hear them again and again. In so much of Andrea’s writing, there are reminders to see each moment as ecstatic, what the soul came here to experience on Earth. My eyes and my heart are wide open as I listen, feeling wonder and awe. I experience something similar when I hear Jonathan, his voice a dynamic magical bridge into the heart of each song he sings.

What rises within me is a deep desire to, as Andrea says, hold each second, each person, sacred. To open every cell in my body to astonishment, awe at being alive, the wonder I was born with, as was every child. We can so easily lose it, or just forget. The poets and musicians are here to remind us to wake up, to remember. Each morning’s sun will never come again; it all goes by so quickly. Yet it is also eternal.

Awareness of mortality/eternity reminded Andrea to see the absolute blessing in being alive—the laughter and tears, the poignancy as well as the peace. All vividly expressed in beautiful poems. In Just in Time, Bobby Darin’s musical life is cut short at 37 by a chronic heart condition. He was driven to live every moment as “once in a lifetime,” and Jonathan Groff, playing that role, movingly reminds audiences to fully appreciate each remarkable moment of their own lives.

That message is relevant for so many of us now, at the deepest level, as we try to find balance living through difficult times. So whenever you hear a poem that moves your soul or a song that brings tears to your eyes, pause and completely receive that gift. Fill your heart with the wonder that surrounds you in each second of your life. Remember to find it everywhere. Just outside the door, the birds are singing musical sonnets; a street artist may be performing an original song or poem. Every single one of them is a unique, unrepeatable voice in this world.

Andrea Gibson, “Tincture”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyglHx86Kvk

Jonathan Groff and Broadway cast, recording Just in Time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IPn41fmt8s.

There Is No “Other”

Humans have invented all kinds of concepts and labels to distance themselves from one another and convince themselves they are somehow special or better. We view the world through artificial lenses such as race, religion, species, gender, sexual preference, age, nationality, politics; we see “other” everywhere we look. And, historically, not others to be accepted and embraced, but others to be avoided or ostracized, often to the point of war and genocide. Underneath it all is fear: fear of survival, fear that we, and our belief systems, will die while others survive. Ultimately, it’s denial of the impermanence of life. 

Throughout the decades, people have built statues, monuments, roads, bridges, and starred sidewalks, all with human names, to create the illusion of permanence, immortality. We get lost in identification with our own physical form and attachment to all the transitory forms that surround us. The human mind wants to believe it can make a permanent impression on the world and somehow survive the life/death trajectory. Everything seen as “other” becomes a threat to that desperate survival need.  Yet, we are all going to die eventually. No exceptions. Neither fame, wealth, nor power will keep the door from closing. Mother Earth herself may not survive in her present form. The universe is eternally fluid, and at the soul level so are we.

Sooner or later, we all return to the same infinite energy source from which we emerged. This Source goes by many names: Spirit, Soul, God, Light, Infinite Consciousness. Within it, there is no “other.” There is nothing but seamless Presence, Oneness. And actually, that Oneness is what exists here on Earth as well, behind the veil of form. Perhaps we came here, in these particular lifetimes, to realize that and fully live it now, as all differences become obviously insubstantial and dissolve everywhere around us. We begin to see that we will leave this life without any part of our physical form, including opinions, beliefs, likes/dislikes. In that awareness, there is no separation or polarity. When the illusion of “other” falls away, compassion and love emerge, and the full light of Source energy shines through us all.

This is the journey for every one of us alive at this time. To stop looking at others as wrong or right, better or less, likable or unlikable, but instead just another human version of ourselves, trying to understand life and mortality. To be fully human is to accept it all and let it all go—into the infinite Presence that makes up all things. There is no “other”; there is only each and all of us, together as One.

Deep Dive or Distraction?

More and more these days, I find myself seeking empty space, deeper stillness within me and outside me. There are so many distractions in our lives now: news updates, emails, texts, apps, ads, online videos and articles, mental lists, busy streets, crowded stores. It can be a real challenge to find a place of silence and solitude where the mind and heart can be at rest. A sanctuary for the spirit.

Perhaps the key is to carry that sanctuary within. I don’t have to “seek” if it’s always inside me. And the more awareness I have of my own inner stillness, the more I experience it everywhere. Every sound can be a meditation bell calling me to quiet Presence. Every breath a softening into silence.

So my spiritual “practice” now involves asking the inner questions: “Does this take me deeper?” “Does it touch my heart and soul?” If not, it’s probably a distraction that it’s best to acknowledge and then let go of. Perhaps a hundred times a day. But with every letting go, I release with greater ease and go deeper. Deeper into nothing…

What is there to say about nothingness, within which eternity lies? We were there before we were born, and we’ll be there again after death. Actually we are there now too, but we are not fully aware of it. On a spiritual path, we gradually open our consciousness to the fullness of nothing, the depth and sacredness of it. As we grow older, we may realize there really is no separation, and in doing so feel a desire to consciously experience it completely within our lifetime: Emptiness and fullness as One. Oneness as all.

The poet William Blake expressed this seeming dichotomy perfectly: “To see the world in a grain of sand/And a heaven in a wild flower/To hold infinity in the palm of your hand/And eternity in an hour.” Maybe the poets and sages are the wayshowers here. In addition to the small children and wise elders who see oneness without a word spoken.

 All this is within each of us, in this present moment. Empty your hands and your mind, and stand alone with nothing but silent spirit surrounding you and within you. On the other side of distraction is the deepest experience possible of All That Is. This is heaven on Earth; this is everything, everywhere; before, during, and after life. Nothing in all its fullness.