Author: spiritflower

Writer, author, lightworker

Farewell to Florida

Photograph © 2020 Peggy Kornegger
As our last weeks in Florida go by, I find myself looking with fresh eyes at the natural world right outside our door, just like I did when we first arrived here. When you know you are moving (and who knows when you will return), everything takes on a special light, a different vibration. Habit falls away and you see every detail with delight and appreciation. A group of ten white ibises with long curved orange beaks walks slowly past our lanai. A palm warbler on the window ledge looks around curiously, bobbing its tail. A giant swallowtail butterfly, the largest in the U.S., serenely floats by and lands on a bush next to the trail where I am walking. A zebra longwing butterfly flutters in the air nearby. So many amazing creatures so close and clearly visible. None of them native to Massachusetts. These are once-in-a-lifetime moments, I say to myself; savor them.

There are such moments in New England too, of course—birds and butterflies I have missed seeing and look forward to seeing again soon. Yet, now, here, in this present moment, I am appreciating Florida’s tropical uniqueness. The exotic flowers that bloom throughout the year, the palm and cypress trees, the multiplicity of water birds, the spectacular cloud formations and dramatic weather patterns. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t see something I’ve never seen before. What a gift! I’ve known this all along, but today, looking ahead to the leaving, I really know it.

So this is the greater lesson of being here—and, really, of being a human on planet Earth: Don’t take anything for granted. Always look at the world as if for the first, or last, time. Appreciate every moment, every beautiful detail of life and living. You may never pass this way again. You may never see a robin in the spring or a maple tree in the autumn. An orchid or hibiscus in full bloom. You may never see someone you love again. Look in their eyes and see their soul each time you are together. Look in the eyes of your animal companion and see their absolute love and devotion. Your time here on Earth is sacred.

I remember this as I look out the window or take my daily walks these final weeks in Florida. This is my life, every extraordinary unrepeatable second, the sadness as well as the joy. To be human is to be given a cornucopia of daily wonders. If I hold this truth in my heart each day, then I live with love and gratitude, and no moment, no experience, passes that I don’t fully appreciate. This is the gift that Florida has given me: I have been reminded once more to let go of everything that is not essential and see the world, every bit of it, as the blessing it truly is.

Homeward Once More

Photograph © 2020 Peggy Kornegger
After two and a half years in Florida, my partner Anne and I are moving back to Massachusetts. It is a decision of the heart. We are choosing to be closer to family and old friends and to remembered places that fill us with great love and appreciation. We are returning home. A few weeks ago, as I was on hold while buying our airline tickets to Boston, Simon and Garfunkel’s song “Homeward Bound” began playing in my ear. The synchronicity was unmistakable. I burst into tears.

Those tears held all my feelings of the last two years, as well as the years prior to that. Life is always a mix of joy and sadness, whether you are arriving or leaving. Within each is the seed of the other. And so it is now. I will miss the beauty of the natural world in Southwest Florida and the friendships I have made here, but I will also be filled with happiness at seeing lifelong friends and family members again, as well as beloved nature sanctuaries in New England. Of all the places I have lived in the U.S.—Midwest, South, East and West coasts—Massachusetts feels most like home to me. Part of it is the quality and length of the relationships with people: shared experiences, shared affection. But it is also a deep connection to the earth and nature. I spent countless hours walking, gardening, and bird-watching there. Often the birds would come to sing to me as I planted flowers in my garden—the best of all possible worlds. It is those kinds of connections—hands in the soil, heart open to the world’s wonders—that make a place feel like home.

There are many kinds of homes, of course: The home where I grew up, in the countryside of rural Illinois. The years of excited exploration and awakening in California. The home that Anne and I share, no matter where we are, because of the love that weaves our lives together. And the home within me where Spirit rests in my soul. This latter home is the one that connects me to the Home beyond this lifetime, where we all return eventually. Who is to say which home is best, or more deeply experienced? Each has its place in my lifetime, and each is treasured. In the end, all these homes come together in my heart and become one. When I meditate, I drop into that sacred place, my inner sanctuary, which includes every feeling of home I have ever experienced. With one single breath, I am home.

This is the heart feeling that arises when I hear an old song that reminds me of familiar places and people: “Homeward Bound.” I am always moving toward that center of love that carries me so beautifully through life. In the course of our lives, we circle around to return to where we began, no matter where we have lived or traveled. We come home to ourselves. It is in the circle and the return that I feel peace and profound gratitude for every moment fully lived, every person deeply loved, and every experience completely embraced. My heart expands to encompass all of life as a blessing, as home.

When Opportunity Knocks

Photograph © 2020 Peggy Kornegger

One of my favorite board games when I was growing up was called Careers. It came with a small set of Opportunity cards, which you chose every time you landed on an “Opportunity Knocks” square on the board. Each card directed you to a different career adventure. For some reason, I remembered this game the other day and thought how we all could probably use Opportunity reminders in our lives. The deeper I dive into the wisdom of accepting all life events as part of my soul’s journey, the more I realize that each event is an opportunity to surrender.

Within that framework, even the most painful and challenging experience (such as living through a global pandemic) is a doorway to greater expansion and growth. When I look back at my life, I can see the flowering into something new that occurred on the other side of what seemed like disaster or tragedy. Life is always presenting us with these opportunities to remain open to change and rebirth, often accompanied by fear or discomfort. If we can remember that that uncomfortable feeling is the precursor to possibility, then we can answer the door with peace in our hearts when opportunity knocks. Birth is always uncomfortable, but untold miracles await us if we relax into the process. The emergence of a new consciousness, a new Earth, is part of that.

So my latest self-reminder is to see each experience, each event, each moment, as an opportunity to surrender ever more deeply into the flow of life. Life as it is unfolding on one planet in one dimension in the multiverse. I am part of something so much grander than my own limited perception of it, an infinite tapestry of beingness that spans all time and space. That thought can be either terrifying or inspiring depending on how open I can remain within my heart and mind. And how deeply connected I am to my soul. Because the surrender I am talking about is ultimately to my soul, to the Spirit within.

My soul knows the design of my life. It was in on the pre-birth planning with God (or Goddess, Source, Spirit). The cosmos is not an accident. Your life is not an accident. There is a greater design beyond the human mind’s ability to understand or explain. At a certain point, we have to let go of figuring things out and just experience the Mystery that is life. To witness it with awe and wonder, as our soul does. That is the sacred gift of life: just to be here, to be present within this extraordinary experience of life on Earth and fully appreciate it. Fully receive it.

I spent so many years trying, instead of just receiving. We are taught that. To try to achieve, to accomplish, to create a life that is perfect. The personality-self, or ego, thinks that in striving and trying we are actually controlling outcomes, forgetting that there is a greater divine orchestration going on that our souls are part of. The universe is very generous and loving. When we try so hard to control events, we are actually slowing down the natural process of giving and receiving that life is based on. When we remain open and surrender to each moment, life can flow through us with ease. The ego tries to control; the soul just receives.

So when you hear unexpected change knocking at your door, think of it as a meditation bell reminding you of another opportunity to let go and receive life at the deepest level. This is why we’re here in human bodies, to learn to soften into oneness, into loving-awareness, into a Presence that includes everything. We think life is a board game, but it’s really divine grace unfolding….

 

Welcoming Obstacles and Mystery

Photograph © 2019 Peggy Kornegger
Ganesha is one of the better-known and beloved deities in Hindu teachings: the remover of obstacles, the god of new beginnings as well as wisdom. I have always been fond of his representation with an elephant’s head. When I moved to Florida, I bought a small statue of his likeness to place near our front door. Following tradition, I rubbed his nose lovingly as I passed in or out of the condo. I felt connected to the energy of new beginnings, free of obstacles, trusting that all my dreams about this adventure would unfold perfectly.

Well, Ganesh can be a trickster as well as divine support. He can place obstacles in your path as well as remove them, all in service to your soul’s journey. This little bit of wisdom showed itself again and again as my expectations about sharing my life with a community of friends here manifested only temporarily, and things that had seemed certain began to dissolve all around me. Surrender was repeatedly the only wise response to unexpected change. I discovered that the real obstacles that Ganesh was dedicated to removing were those between me and God. All of them. And this was Ganesh’s wisdom: let go, let God.

Over the course of two years, I received this wisdom at deeper and deeper levels: through the events of my life, through a worldwide pandemic, through political upheaval—and through extraordinary moments of divine connection in Nature. The natural world here in Florida transports the soul. At any given moment, I can look up at the powder-blue sky and constantly changing cloud formations and feel as if I am in heaven, immersed in sacred energy. White ibises and snowy egrets flying overhead add to the mystery and beauty. Every morning, when I walk along a nearby nature trail, I am immediately in an altered state of receptive awareness. And this is where Ganesh delivered his summation statement to me a few weeks ago, visually and then aurally.

As I passed a group of cypress trees on the trail, I suddenly stepped into a cloud of long-winged zebra butterflies. Their black-and-white wings flashed in the morning light shining through the tree branches, creating an optical illusion of appearance and disappearance, as if they were moving from one dimension to another. I could feel my heart open into a profound soul connection to God, tears of love and gratitude in my eyes. Then, as I shifted my gaze to the beams of brilliant sunlight, I heard within me: “You did not come to Florida to live in a community. You came here to experience God.” Truth. Ganesh’s truth. My soul’s truth. And I immediately recognized it as such.

Photograph © 2020 Peggy Kornegger
So now I see, more clearly each day, why I was brought here. In the empty spaces outside of human life plans, you can hear wisdom, you can feel peace, and you can become one with your soul. And “community” is wider and deeper than one place, one time frame; it spans the globe and lives in the heart of humanity. I also understand more fully that planning the details doesn’t always lead to certainty of outcome. I can only open the door and welcome everything that appears, flowing with the mysteries of the universe. Every seeming obstacle is a guidepost to God. Thank you, Ganesha.

The Disappearance of “I”

Photograph © 2020 Peggy Kornegger
What would my life be like without me? Well, for one thing, it wouldn’t be “my life.” It would just be life—being, expanding, evolving. Exactly what it is without the filter I apply to it with “my.” As I continue along the path my soul has chosen for this lifetime, I see more clearly the limitations of language. “My” is a convenience for conversation, but the possessiveness we feel about so much in life is reinforced by that simple two-letter designation. In fact, nothing is mine. Even my soul is not really mine, nor is God. There is a limitless universal Spirit that we are one with, beyond description or possession. Caught up in “me,” “I,” and “mine,” our vision is restricted, dead-ended. Many times, our identity is so busy defending itself and its viewpoint that we can’t see the beauty and wonder around us or the love in the hearts of those closest to us. We lose friendships in arguments and misunderstandings.

Humanity seems to endlessly struggle to come to a peaceful resolution of conflicts everywhere in the world, especially now. Perhaps the greatest wisdom is that peace can only be found within, which is where it begins. Without inner peace, world peace is unreachable. In my own life, I am most at peace when “I” disappears. That occurs in stillness, in Nature, in empty spaces with no busyness. A global pandemic has provided us with those opportunities, if we recognize and explore them. Try living life without the distraction of possessive labels and perceptions. Walk through your day as if you had no ego, seeing everything without pronouns, maybe even without nouns. Empty of self. In peace.

The whole world is born in emptiness. From formlessness: form. The infinite potential of Source energy created a visible universe within which we find our way back to our beginnings. Every part of the material world is a form of living light that fills our human experience with richness and radiance. We too are light, and we are now awakening to that awareness. Many people discover a connection to their own inner light when they face the disappearance of the familiar and predictable in life, something we are now seeing on our planet. Within that opening, the soul’s presence is often revealed, and the self begins to fade.

When “I” disappears, there is only light, the light of Universal Soul that infuses our lives. That is our Home. Is it possible for us to experience each moment of our lives as that light? To see the light of Home everywhere and in everyone? I believe it is. In the past few months as so much has fallen away in my life, I have known moments of peaceful soul presence that flood my entire consciousness, becoming more frequent and lasting longer. I am not alone in this; it is a collective deepening and expansion. Soon we will meet one another as light beings (the truth of who we are) in all parts of our lives. This is our destiny, we divine/human souls on an evolving blue planet slowly spinning in the cosmos. When “I” and “my” fade into the background, peace arises, love arises. And we are Home, together, as one.