Category: Soul journey

Whatever You Don’t Want

Consider this possibility: Everything you don’t want in your life (pain, loss, difficult relationships, fear) could be there as a catalyst for you on your soul journey in this lifetime. What you resist or reject may be your greatest teacher. We come to Earth to have experiences, the full spectrum, not just the “good stuff.” That’s what being human is all about. And what is “good” anyway? The viewpoints of today can be completely reversed tomorrow. What you grieve over losing may later be shown to be a huge blessing. So what if everything is a blessing, no matter what it looks like?

Over time, I finally began to see the full truth of that bit of wisdom. I realized that the challenges I’ve faced in my life were in fact huge catalysts for me on my soul journey. Many years ago, chronic headaches and neck pain from a muscle injury led me to explore alternative healing (acupuncture, massage, chiropractic, meditation), which in turn led me to spiritual teachings. And my lifelong fear of infinity/eternity pushed me to go even further with those spiritual teachings. A few weeks ago, during an expansive meditation, I was shown an overview of my lifetime in which so many connections were clear. I could see that the pain and fear were actually my soul guides on this life journey. Suddenly, my wise friend Panache Desai’s words made complete sense: “No matter what shows up, it’s there to take you deeper.”

I can’t tell you how much that insight, that overview, has changed how I feel day to day. I no longer get so caught up in complaining and bemoaning the difficulties of life. I am grateful that I was led to spiritual teachers who helped me reframe the fear and to health practices that helped lesson the pain. And along the way, I have been given the gift of greater compassion for others and greater connection to Spirit. I feel empathy for friends and strangers alike in navigating the challenges of being human. I no longer perceive God as distant or unattainable but instead as an integral part of who I am and all that I experience. There is an Infinite Consciousness that I am aware of all the time now. Its very infinity, what has been my greatest fear, is also the source of my most profound and treasured experiences of the “Great Mystery” that is God. Ultimately, you discover that love is at the center of everything, and only that love is real. The rest are just passing signposts.

So before you react with anger or dismay at some aspect of your daily life experience, pause for a moment and consider that something more could be at play than just unfairness and bad luck. What if the luck is in just being alive? In having such a wide spectrum of human experiences? Souls line up in other dimensions to get the chance to come to Earth for this, both the woe and the wonder. Because within that diverse dance of emotions and reactions is a soul’s opportunity to expand and grow and become a brighter light in the cosmos. Did you think the entire universe was an accident? Look carefully at your life as a whole. Every detail is perfectly designed. You are a human angel, sent here to experience everything, see it all as love, and shine that love outward, across all dimensions.

Masks

Photograph © 2021 Peggy Kornegger
This blog article is not about the pros and cons of mask-wearing. Instead, I’d like to suggest a possible deeper meaning for this whole phenomenon. All around the world, people are wearing masks, for mutual protection and individual/collective health. When I pass someone on the street here in Massachusetts in winter, I see eyes and a mask—and lots of clothing. COVID has made us almost unrecognizable, one from the other. Sometimes it seems eerie or surreal—a science fiction scenario. Yet people often wave or gesture in a friendly way as they go by, bridging the social distance between us. In our anonymity, we are still human. And maybe, ultimately, that may be the gift of COVID: to show us in an unforgettable ongoing visual that we are really all the same. The masks hide our differences, and our common humanity is clearly visible in our eyes.

Over the past year, I have had vast stretches of time to ponder the greater significance of this pandemic in our lives. From the beginning, it seemed clear that there was a multi-faceted divine understory to what felt so overwhelmingly catastrophic and tragic. God had given us a timeout, a reset. Yes, we faced severe illness, suffering, and death on a global scale. Still, as the world shut down, and we sheltered in place, distanced from one another physically, the human spirit somehow found ways to reach into the emptiness with hope. People sang from their balconies and windows. They flooded the Internet with photographs of clear unpolluted skies, newly visible mountains, and wildlife returning. In looking into the distance and listening into the stillness, we realized how much we had been missing in our busy, noisy lives. Awareness arose in individual after individual. We could perceive the world and each other with greater clarity.

Simultaneously, the more clearly we saw, the more political conflict arose. People voiced their outrage at years of racist violence and oppression. Many listened while others refused to hear. Versions of opposing “truths” played out everywhere. Some viewed this ongoing turmoil as apocalyptic. To me, it was birth pains, the emergence of new possibilities as the destructive and unworkable fell away. My entire lifetime has pointed me in that direction. Countless prophecies of indigenous peoples and spiritual masters have envisioned this time. We are not destroying the Earth and humanity; we are being offered the gift of awakening, revitalization. What has been called the New Earth is now emerging.

On the New Earth, we embrace difference as part of Oneness, diversity as divine. In each other’s eyes, we see commonality and love, not opposition and hatred. We work together to create communities that circle the globe in peace and sister/brotherhood. No one ahead or above, all moving together as equals with unique gifts to share. This is the vision, and it is beginning to come into being now. So, perhaps those sometimes cumbersome and inconvenient masks are actually a blessing. In a world of multicolored masks, who is the enemy? Masks direct us to the eyes, which are the windows to the soul. And that’s who we are ultimately: souls on a fantastic journey on a wondrous blue planet, here to expand and evolve. When we look into one another’s eyes, we see the Soul, unified and infinite. That’s who we are, with or without masks.

 

Heart Memory

Photograph © 2021 Peggy Kornegger
I once read about an injured hawk that was rescued and taken to a raptor rehabilitation center. The hawk, after recovering from its injuries, was driven back to the location where it had been found, many miles away. At a certain point in the trip, the hawk suddenly became more alert. It lifted its head and looked around sharply; it moved its wings with anticipation. It sensed in the deepest part of its being that its home was near. Such behavior can’t be logically explained by science because it has to do with the things we know without physical evidence to prove it. Awareness beyond the five senses. Author Rupert Sheldrake called it “morphic resonance” in explaining how a dog would know its human companion, a hundred miles away, had started to return home. We living beings, animal or human, feel presence and remember home from great distances. Our heart has an intelligence even deeper and wider than the brain’s.

I have experienced this time and again in my life. It is a powerful connection to the world around me. I can literally feel my awareness extend beyond time and space to people and events at great distances or in the past. Like the hawk, I have recognized “home” in my cells and in my heart. Most recently, on the return flight moving back to Boston from Florida, I visually tracked the plane’s movement up the coast, passing through state after state. I could feel my heart begin to beat faster as we neared New England. When the edge of Massachusetts appeared on the flight map, I looked out the window at the Earth below. I felt the familiarity deep within me. Then, as the plane touched down, tears filled my eyes. Anne, who had lived in the Boston area all her life, was sniffling beside me. We squeezed each other’s hands as the flight attendant’s voice came over the PA: “Welcome Home.” Yes.

A couple of weeks after arriving and settling in to our new apartment, Anne and I drove to the neighborhood where we had lived before moving to Florida. As we passed through the familiar streets and turned down ours, once again I cried. Eleven years of memories flashed through my mind: summer gardens, autumn leaves, winter blizzards, spring awakenings, sunrises and sunsets, full moons, screech owls calling at dusk, mockingbirds singing at dawn, goldfinches feeding, squirrels chasing each other, neighbors bringing banana bread and kindness. It all was alive within me. My heart remembered every moment.

Immediately I thought of the hawk and connected to its experience from within my own. We creatures of Earth are here but a short time; yet each second is imprinted on our consciousness and carried within us. Our souls know the brevity of our stay, which gives us an intensity of experience that continues throughout our lives. The homes we have here are but a reflection of the greater Home that we come from and to which we return beyond lifetimes. Perhaps in remembering our Earth homes with such emotion we are also remembering our heavenly Home. It is a mystery, this life. Still, in moments of deep connection to the present and past as one, we, hawk or human, experience the far-reaching power of the heart’s memory. And of a greater Intelligence that holds us all in its Universal Heart.

Do You Remember?

Photograph © 2020 Peggy Kornegger

“God isn’t an attainment.
It’s a memory.”
—Panache Desai

When we yearn for God, we think we have to do or become something in order to find that connection, but that just isn’t true. God, or Spirit, was in the infinite energy that held your essence before you were born and in the emergence of your individual expression in this world. Spirit has never left you because there is no part of you that is not Spirit. No part of the universe is Godless. When you realize that completely, the arbitrary boundaries created to define human existence disappear, and you are at home in a Presence beyond time and space. You remember.

What does it take to open to that awareness? Not effort or searching; trying can in fact push it further away. Instead, remembering God is an experience of letting go and being fully present in your life exactly as it is in each moment. If you practice surrendering to life, that experience can become continuous, unbroken and limitless. And it awaits you everywhere. Spirit is in the sunrise and sunset, in the robin’s morning song and the thrush’s evening trill. In thunderstorms and rainbows, in the expanse of the plains and the height of the mountains. Spirit is present in the eyes of loved ones and strangers alike. Even on a busy city street, you can experience this Presence. Everywhere you look, God is, because divinity lives within you. You were born of Spirit, and Spirit lives through you. So when you remember, in a split second of full awareness, you are seeing the truth of all life everywhere, the multiverse we are part of. You are Presence.

I find that my most profound moments of remembering God occur in Nature. Silence engenders access to Spirit. In the stillness of my soul, the experience of Presence arises. When I wake at dawn and walk outside beneath the cypress trees as the mockingbirds sing and the red-bellied woodpeckers call, I feel a part of something beyond the physical boundaries of my body. In the silence beneath the sounds of Nature, I let go into formless being in which the birds and trees and I are one. Humans are taught to name what they see, but when I consciously drop that mental training, everything opens up. Without labels, the world flows seamlessly, and I flow with it. In the flowing, I remember.

I knew God fully before birth, floating in my mother’s womb, because words hadn’t defined and separated my world into parts yet. Once I entered life and language filtered my experiences, I was introduced to fragmented time and conditioned perception. Western culture doesn’t show us that we are one with all we see and that Spirit is the source of that oneness. God in some religions is viewed as an entity that lives outside us and subjects us to rigid rules, judgments, and constraints. The deeper truth is that God is a loving Presence in our souls, which we can access through present-moment awareness. Not through achievement or striving, but in letting go and surrendering. In each moment, the memory of God spans our consciousness and fills our hearts. A timeless memory within; eternal Presence. This is God.

 

Homeward Once More

Photograph © 2020 Peggy Kornegger
After two and a half years in Florida, my partner Anne and I are moving back to Massachusetts. It is a decision of the heart. We are choosing to be closer to family and old friends and to remembered places that fill us with great love and appreciation. We are returning home. A few weeks ago, as I was on hold while buying our airline tickets to Boston, Simon and Garfunkel’s song “Homeward Bound” began playing in my ear. The synchronicity was unmistakable. I burst into tears.

Those tears held all my feelings of the last two years, as well as the years prior to that. Life is always a mix of joy and sadness, whether you are arriving or leaving. Within each is the seed of the other. And so it is now. I will miss the beauty of the natural world in Southwest Florida and the friendships I have made here, but I will also be filled with happiness at seeing lifelong friends and family members again, as well as beloved nature sanctuaries in New England. Of all the places I have lived in the U.S.—Midwest, South, East and West coasts—Massachusetts feels most like home to me. Part of it is the quality and length of the relationships with people: shared experiences, shared affection. But it is also a deep connection to the earth and nature. I spent countless hours walking, gardening, and bird-watching there. Often the birds would come to sing to me as I planted flowers in my garden—the best of all possible worlds. It is those kinds of connections—hands in the soil, heart open to the world’s wonders—that make a place feel like home.

There are many kinds of homes, of course: The home where I grew up, in the countryside of rural Illinois. The years of excited exploration and awakening in California. The home that Anne and I share, no matter where we are, because of the love that weaves our lives together. And the home within me where Spirit rests in my soul. This latter home is the one that connects me to the Home beyond this lifetime, where we all return eventually. Who is to say which home is best, or more deeply experienced? Each has its place in my lifetime, and each is treasured. In the end, all these homes come together in my heart and become one. When I meditate, I drop into that sacred place, my inner sanctuary, which includes every feeling of home I have ever experienced. With one single breath, I am home.

This is the heart feeling that arises when I hear an old song that reminds me of familiar places and people: “Homeward Bound.” I am always moving toward that center of love that carries me so beautifully through life. In the course of our lives, we circle around to return to where we began, no matter where we have lived or traveled. We come home to ourselves. It is in the circle and the return that I feel peace and profound gratitude for every moment fully lived, every person deeply loved, and every experience completely embraced. My heart expands to encompass all of life as a blessing, as home.