Category: Writing

Being True to Your Soul Self

© 2010 Anne S. Katzeff / Artist
© 2010 Anne S. Katzeff / Artist
It’s challenging to be your authentic self in the world today. Marketing seems to have taken over every aspect of life. There’s been a blurring between business, sports, and daily life in the personal coaching and self-marketing phenomenon. People seem to want to be “cheered on” to greatness, yet is it authentic, soul-guided greatness, or a “greatness” defined by social values that tout fame, financial gain, and material acquisition above anything else?

Ultimately, life is not a business (or a sports event), and marketing yourself without awareness can lead to inauthenticity and an unhappy life, both at work and at home. In author Susan Cain’s recent book Quiet, she discusses the cultural bias in favor of extraverted behavior in our society. In schools, homes, and workplaces across this country, individuals are encouraged—nay, pushed—to be outgoing, super-productive team-players. Quiet contemplative solo time is heavily discouraged, and those who do their best creative work alone or who like to balance social time with solitude often find themselves as either uncomfortable full-time group participants or total outsiders.

We have lost touch with the value of authenticity, a life lived in alignment with the soul’s deepest flowering, unique to each person. It’s time to “get real,” as the saying goes. There is no cookie-cutter prototype for the best way to work and live on this planet. We need fluid social/work structures that allow for variation and individuality. Some of the most creative innovators in history did not fit in but walked their own path to greatness. It’s time we recognized this and allowed each person the freedom to expand and grow in his or her own way. Hardened social paradigms stunt individual expression and authenticity. Fluidity and flexibility open the door for all people, whatever their creative style, to be their soul selves in the world.

Of course, we’re facing a monolithic business prototype that values competition over cooperation, profit and product over people, and that too has to shift. So many men and women are caught on the hamster wheel of achievement and acquisition, but as the planet begins to rebalance itself, these values will change also. Status and material objects do not equal happiness. It’s like the old Frank Capra classic film You Can’t Take It With You, in which friendship, family, and community are found to bring greater joy (and much more fun!) than corporate boardrooms. Capra had a penchant for making those kinds of films. It’s a Wonderful Life has a similar message: money is valued only when it’s shared and can help others.

So what exactly is “real” in our rapidly changing social matrix today? Real is looking deep inside yourself and living from that soul place. There is a quiet voice within that will guide you to your own creative expression in life. In listening to and living in alignment with your inner spirit, you will “be the change you wish to see in the world.” You don’t have to wait for validation from outside. In being true to your soul self, you will inspire others to do the same, and together we will co-create a reality that fulfills our greatest dreams.

Laugh Out Loud

pak-laugh-in-car-crop2Throughout my life, my favorite friends have been those who made me laugh. And I don’t mean a chuckle or quiet giggle. I mean full-out, open-mouth laughter, where the tears are streaming down your face and your cheeks hurt from grinning. The uncontrollable kind that keeps rolling over you every time you think of what made you laugh in the first place. If you’re with several friends, this can last for hours—you’ll comment back and forth and trigger one another into further hysterics. Like one long slumber party.

Over the years, my favorite comedians were always the wildly imaginative, slightly crazy ones like Jonathan Winters, Lily Tomlin, and Robin Williams. Or the deadpan, unexpected-twist humor of Ellen Degeneres and Tina Fey. Then there’s the situational humor of a well-written sit-com with a great ensemble cast like Seinfeld. Or comedy classics like the Marx Brothers’ Night at the Opera and Woody Allen’s Annie Hall. All have made me laugh out loud.

Laugh out loud—LOL, as we write it in our emails or social media posts. We all love to laugh. It’s in those times that we completely let go of our worries and serious opinions and just relax into sheer joy at being alive. We are in the moment, energy flowing freely. Laughter opens us up physically and emotionally and subtly clears resistance to a sense of oneness with others. When we laugh, we are sharing smiles at the silliness of taking life too seriously. If we step back for a minute and look at it, life really is a sit-com. And we are the laugh track….

I have been known to become overly serious about issues of life and death and eternity. I get lost, contemplating the great mysteries of the universe ad infinitum, until my body tenses up in fear and apprehension. My friend, and loving catalyst, Panache Desai once said to me, “Are you absolutely willing to be laugh-out-loud giddy stupid silly funny?” That was his way of getting me to chill out and let go of the seriousness. Of course, I laughed and said yes. He has a gift for making me laugh just when I’m most intent on holding onto my suffering.

My dad used to do the same thing for me. In college, when I was experiencing recurrent late-night fears of infinity, I tearfully told him, “I don’t want to live forever, and I don’t want to be dead forever either! They’re both terrifying.” He visibly struggled for an answer that would comfort me. Finally, his Irish humor broke through, and he said, “Well, you just can’t please some people!” My existential angst was dispelled with laughter—and the love that came with it.

That’s what our friends and family do for us. They crack us up/open and shine the light in with a kind word or ridiculous joke. Laughter breaks the tension. Laughter opens the heart. Laughter is chocolate and pizza and ice cream all rolled into one. Ultimately, life is both a mystery and a sit-com. Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud at it all!

Writing Your Soul Self into the World

Photograph © 2012 Peggy Kornegger
Photograph © 2012 Peggy Kornegger

Every time you write, you are expressing something about yourself, sending a vibration, either a faint, half-hearted one or a full-on, authentic blast of your soul self. Whether it’s an email, a social media post, or an article or book intended for publication, it is filled with your vibes—clear and forthright or vaguely uncertain. In the world of vibration and perceived intent, writing is the same as speaking. We are announcing who we are in the world with every word we utter, out loud or in cyberspace. The question is: How truthful are we when we speak/write? True to ourselves, that is.

We may write one thing but mean something entirely different, and the recipient is left confused and unsettled. We may not really know what we mean ourselves if we write impulsively or hurriedly, which is often the case in our fast-lane, multi-tasking world. Meditation teachers often tell students to take a deep breath and pause before speaking or acting in order to bring themselves into present-moment awareness. Clarity of mind and connection to the inner soul self rests in that deep breath and pause. Or at least I’ve found that to be true in my life.

If I rush through the day, speeding from one activity or conversation to another without resetting my inner focus, then I am scattered, stressed, and probably presenting that energy to those I encounter. If I take the time to breathe consciously for a minute or two and really look around at my surroundings, everything shifts into a softer, slower mode, and I have made space for my inner spirit to come to the fore. I feel more centered and grounded in who I really am at heart instead of being only half-aware, half-present in my own day-to-day life. I don’t always remember to do this, but when I do, it makes a big difference in how I experience everyone and everything. And the more I remember….well, the more I remember….

Since I’m a writer, this little piece of wisdom has been invaluable to me. Writing from the surface of the brain without involving my heart and soul makes for dull, inert content unconnected to the life force from which all creativity springs. When I write from my heart, then I experience a conscious alignment with who I am at the deepest level. Words and sentences seem to flow more easily when my heart is engaged, not just my brain. My spirit, or soul self, unique to me, steps forward into the world to express herself. I treasure that connection to my inner self.

More and more, people today understand how energy makes up our entire universe. We are energy, and our words are also energy. Why not make them truly represent who you are at the deepest level, which is love? Use language creatively, playfully, to send a loving vibration into the world. Pause, take a breath, and align the words you write with your truest self. There is no one else exactly like you on the planet, so express your unrepeatable, full-color soul self in everything you write—whether tweet or blog or email. Now more than ever, your voice is needed in the world. Together, our collective positive energy can shift everything!

Featured Article

My recent blog article, “The Real Magic Kingdom,” is currently being featured on two websites, Spirit of Change and Panache Desai: http://www.spiritofchange.org/blog/the-real-magic-kingdom and http://www.panachedesai.com/comments/the-real-magic-kingdom.

Sacred Circle of Love

Photograph © 2013 Peggy Kornegger
Photograph © 2013 Peggy Kornegger

Are our ideas about love evolving right along with us? Yes, I believe they are. Today, in our seemingly chaotic world, beneath the surface of visible turmoil and divisiveness, there exists a gradual, almost imperceptible shift in the way we think about love. We are seeing an expansion from clannish familial love and romantic love based on physical appearance/attraction to a more inclusive universal love that encompasses all beings. In the past, this universal love has often been linked to the Divine love associated with a God or Goddess. In various spiritual or religious traditions, the Divine Mother is the primary image of unconditional, compassionate love. Historically, it has been difficult for ego-bound humans to express this kind of selfless loving. But all that is changing.

Now, during this time of accelerating evolution in human consciousness, we are opening our hearts to that infinite love without conditions or parameters. As we step into embodying the archetypal mother’s love for her child, we experience and radiate that love to all whom we meet on our life’s journey. The Divine within each of us mirrors the Divine in others: I love, you love, we love—the sacred circle of unconditional love. This is the love that is at the core of our being and at the center of the cosmos. In truth, both our universe and we were born in love. And we are finally awakening to that universal Divine love that permeates all things.

This February, the month in which people celebrate Valentine’s Day and romance, let us also recognize a love greater than cards or candy or our individual lives. A love that, if we let it, could redefine the way we live on this planet and make every day one filled with profound human connection and global harmony. Let us celebrate Love in the capitalized sense. Let us love the way Mother Teresa, Gandhi, and Martin Luther King Jr. loved all peoples of the Earth. Let us love one another, and ourselves, with the delight and wonder a new parent feels when they look at their child. Let us, at long last, love from the depth of our souls, beyond limits and beyond words.