Tag: awareness

Seeds of Life

My second chemotherapy treatment for breast cancer took place on 2 Qanil in the Maya calendar. The sacred symbol Qanil stands for “the seed that generates life and creation.” For me, a perfect analogy, because I envisioned life’s seeds of light and love being transmitted to me via the infusions, at the same time that I felt them radiating out from me in my own vibration. This is the circular process of God creating God in the world. We each embody God in our physical forms, and God experiences life through our experiences. As we create, or express our soul selves, God is creating simultaneously. The entire universe is a divinely designed participatory symphony of living light and love. I feel this almost continuously now.

Everything I experience arises from this awareness. During my treatment, the meditations I listened to were Panache Desai’s “Eight Beatitudes.” His words gently carried me along (“You as you have known yourself are dissolving. There is a powerful transformation unfolding within your being….The splendor and magnificence of your soul and the God within revealed.”). The accompanying instrumentals (Pachelbel’s Canon, Ava Maria, Unchained Melody, etc.) had a similar effect. Tears repeatedly filled my eyes as I looked out at the rain and wind blowing leaves from the trees—a choreographed dance of sight and sound. Everything I saw with my physical eyes, heard with my physical ears, and felt with my physical body aligned exactly with my soul’s experience of Life at that moment in time. A blessing—and another blessing just to be aware of that blessing. Gratitude filled my heart and soul.

Later, when I described this experience to a friend of mine, she told me that she too has felt the awakening of her soul and the inner guidance that accompanies it, which explains why I had thought of her during the meditations. We are all here to receive these truths, to bring forward from our past lives and varied traditions the light of awareness and wisdom, sharing with all those we encounter during this bridging time into a future of infinite possibilities. We are a soul family flowing together from and to the source of all being in the multiverse.

This journey I am on with breast cancer is an expansion and opening beyond anything I could have imagined earlier in my life. I was not religious or spiritual growing up, yet I experienced God in Nature in every moment of my childhood in the Illinois countryside. The Spirit within my soul guided me on an ever-widening path to immersion in divine consciousness. We are each on these paths, in our own ways. That is why we are alive at this time. Sooner or later, we all will awaken to cosmic awareness and a sense of oneness with all we see. Even in the midst of challenges or pain, the seeds of life are growing and will eventually flower.

The language you use to express this doesn’t matter. It is the opening of your own heart and soul that will move you forward and ultimately connect you to every form of life you encounter: other humans, animals, plants, insects, trees, rocks, stars, planets. Each part has the whole inside it. You are a sacred imprint of divinity on this planet, in this universe, carrying the seeds of life within you. Awaken to the blessing you are.

Infinity Vision

Several years ago, after a somewhat worrisome eye diagnosis, I had the extraordinary experience of looking out my window and seeing the external world moving in perfect synchronicity to the Andrea Bocelli music I was listening to. Every detail—people walking, cars passing, tree leaves in the wind—was part of a divinely choreographed dance of deeply connected oneness. And I too was part of it. There was nothing in the universe that sat alone on the sidelines within God’s creation. And I could see this so clearly that the power and beauty of it moved me to tears. Infinity vision, beyond an eye diagnosis.

Last week something similar occurred. I was taking a late-afternoon walk through our neighborhood when I heard a voice inside me: “Don’t just walk. Look. See!” I stopped in my tracks and looked up at the sky. The brilliant blue was streaked with white clouds like an impressionistic painting. The quality of the sun’s light made everything iridescent, heavenly. When I turned my gaze to the street before me, I saw a man with his dog, a car driving past, and autumn leaves falling from trees all moving together as one. I continued to walk, and everything I saw joined the dance of beingness. A cosmic tapestry so intricately interwoven that each thread was perfectly aligned with every other, and the motion of its living presence filled the universe, and me, with vibration and light. Infinity vision once again.

These are gifts from God, available to us all. Often it is a life crisis or a health diagnosis (like my recent breast cancer) that shatters everything and allows us to see the true nature of the multiverse we inhabit. I have sometimes heard from those who are experiencing it that cancer brings with it both challenge and expanded awareness. I understand that now. I believed I was deeply spiritually connected, aware, but cancer showed me an expansiveness and complexity beyond anything I had previously experienced. It cracked me open and let the full light of infinite awareness in. When disease or illness pries away your attachment to your physical form, magic is revealed. On my walk, I stood speechless before the wonder of everything I saw. Tears of love and gratitude streamed down my face.

If you have been reading my writing over the years, you may have noticed that I have had similar experiences before. Nature is always my profound connector to Spirit and the doorway to something greater. Yet now it is somehow different. The connection is even deeper and more expansive. That is the nature of infinity. You never reach the end of its ever-increasing power and beauty. Birth and death seem like finite experiences, but they are both contained within infinity. There is no end to beingness, ever. And this is the eternal truth that sits quietly at the center of our lives. Each of us is destined to discover it at the perfect time.

Whenever it appears, by whatever vehicle, celebrate its arrival as the greatest gift you will ever receive. The cracks in your life—illness, loss, pain, fear—can be the gateways to seeing with infinity vision. Only then will you understand the true nature of your “one precious life” and all life. Each and every one of us is part of a celestial symphony. The music of the spheres accompanies us everywhere. When you are able to see beyond what your eyes habitually perceive, your vision expands, and you begin to walk on air, immersed in the beauty of infinity, loving everyone and everything around you.

Floating in Kindness

I have read that patients hear everything that is said or felt in the hospital room even when sedated or unconscious. Those who have near-death experiences describe watching and hearing the doctors, nurses, and family members from “above” and seeing the connections between everything. I have always believed this to be true. Recently, I had my own experience of something similar, though not at the edge of death. I was sedated for a breast cancer operation, and as I came out of sedation after surgery, I had the vivid experience of writing a very detailed letter describing how extraordinarily kind everyone was in the operating and recovery rooms. I lay there feeling it all intensely as I slowly returned to conscious awareness within the “real world.” But I ask you, “What is real here?” There was no doubt in my fully conscious mind that I was remembering what I experienced during surgery and immediately after. I had felt surrounded by bodhisattvas.*

Lying there, slowly drifting back into my mind’s perceptions, experienced in conjunction with my heart’s loving awareness, I “knew” my surroundings and the world at large in a greater, wiser way. The feeling of floating in an atmosphere of caring and kindness expanded until all I felt was oneness with everyone in the room as well as everyone on Earth. And everything in the universe. Immersion in a loving Presence. Tears rolled down my cheeks. Thus God guides us along our soul’s path in our human lifetime. Gradually, we come to see the larger picture, the divine tapestry within which we are all threads of consciousness.

Two months ago, I was invisibly guided to find the lump in my breast, and everything that unfolded afterward has been a blessed dance of deepening soul awareness and connection. All my friends and loved ones, all the doctors and nurses, are playing a part in this dance—and are, I’m sure, experiencing their own soul journeys parallel to mine. This is what is happening now on our blue planet, as it becomes golden with illuminated collective awareness. In truth, we are all bodhisattvas returning to Earth to shine the light of loving kindness and oneness so strongly that finally we all feel it as powerfully as I did in that recovery room. I am forever changed by that experience.

As I walk down the street now, I see shining souls all connected to one another, not solitary human forms lost in the dramas of their own lives. Beneath our earthly costumes this is who we all are: infinite beings of light. We are here on assignment from the stars. Look around, look within, and remember who you are. Reach out the hand of kindness to every person, animal, plant, tree, butterfly or bee you encounter. Feel the connections beyond language. What will be returned to you is the reflection of your own soul and God’s imprint on your heart. We came here to love one another and to love ourselves. In that there is only Oneness.
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*Bodhisattvas are enlightened beings who return to the Earth plane out of compassion and the desire to be of loving service to others (a Buddhist teaching).

Guided

Every moment of our lives is guided by an Intelligence that we may only partially recognize while we are in physical form. It has been called variously Infinite Consciousness, Soul Awareness, or more simply, God/Goddess. We are a part of that vast beingness, and before we move from formlessness to form (birth), we choose an overview for our lives that opens us to expansion and evolving. Our physical lives interweave with one another within a vast tapestry of intention and meaning woven by that Intelligence, which we are one with. There is no experience or event, however small or large, that is not connected to that cosmic interweaving.

At this time on Planet Earth, the door to seeing this profound connection, the oneness of the entire universe, is opening wider and wider. More and more people are understanding that their lives are not random and meaningless but indeed part of unlimited micro and macro connections that make up the entire multiverse. “A world in a grain of sand,” as William Blake wrote. “Infinity in the palm of your hand.” This is the miraculous vision that is our human destiny now. To look at the sky and see eternity and gaze at a field of flowers and see heaven. Or to experience each event in your life as rich in both connection and direction.

That is where my breast cancer experience has been taking me. From the moment I had the impulse to check my breasts only two weeks after a normal mammogram, I knew that something greater was at play. I didn’t make a conscious mental decision to do a breast check (before this, I never checked my breasts). Suddenly my hand was checking my right breast and almost immediately located a lump there. It was subsequently found to be cancer, stage 1, and I had surgery to remove it and the area around it. I have been continually moved to share this story and urge others to check their breasts (both women and men can get breast cancer). And to write about allowing not only your hand but your whole being to be guided by a power beyond human knowing, which shows itself in synchronicity, intuition, and inexplicable “coincidences” that move your life in certain directions.*

To trust in your soul’s wisdom and God’s presence can fill your life with inner peace and outer calm. No matter what happens, however painful or beautiful, it is all part of the flow of human evolution into the Light. A light that humanity and our planet is destined to shine in the cosmos. That may sound like wishful thinking or new age speculation, but I assure you that the more you notice the connections between seemingly small events in your life, the more you will see those light-filled connections everywhere. Every person you meet is a fellow traveler. Every experience you have guides you to deeper awareness. Don’t miss it. You will be grateful beyond words to discover that life is not pointless and cruel but always divinely guided in love. I am.
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*As I waited in the hospital for my second breast operation (to achieve wider clear margins), I watched surgery scheduling delays unfold around me. My own operation originally scheduled for 1:40 p.m. ended up taking place at 3 p.m., thus placing it in exact alignment with the powerful balancing energy of the Autumnal Equinox at 3:20 p.m. Perfect synchronicity beyond all human planning.

You Are Here

Do you recall the maps in public places that help you find your way? There is usually a circle or an X with the notation: “You are here.” X marks the spot where you are in the “real world.” From there, you navigate the path to your destination. In life, without maps to guide us from birth to death, our course is less certain. We tend to wander at first, gradually gaining momentum and direction, then perhaps pausing at some point to contemplate the big picture. Our minds often wish we had something as simple as a map to direct us on the perfect life journey. We sometimes question where we are going and if we have made a wrong turn, a fatal error in judgment. What we don’t realize is that there are no errors.

You are always being moved by life force energy, a physical conduit for soul presence in the world. And that soul presence knows exactly where you are going and what your life purpose is. In the realm of spirit, before you were born, you chose the path for this lifetime, and your soul is the inner reminder of that choice. Whenever you feel as if something inside is moving you toward a certain decision or destination, that is your soul. The map you have been looking for outside yourself is within. And your soul’s guiding voice speaks to you through your intuition and through synchronicities. Sometimes in the words of a friend or even a stranger at just the right moment. If you listen and look, the clues are everywhere.

And the good part is that you can’t make a mistake. Wherever you are meant to be is where you are right now. Isn’t that a surprise? Even if you don’t really like where you are, it’s where you are supposed to be for the purposes of your soul’s journey. So, instead of complaining or resisting, try accepting and surrendering to what is actually a divinely orchestrated life course. Look around. What wisdom is hiding within the shadows of your own perception? Imagine that this very moment holds the secrets of the universe—switch on the light of your awareness and receive them. Take a deep breath and see the world with the eyes of your soul. If nothing is a mistake, then what am I being given now, here?

In each breath is all of life. Each moment holds the infinite Now. You are not in this lifetime to be forever lost and confused. You are here to awaken and fully live with spirit. That is the collective purpose of all our lives on this planet. The truth is that there is no path. There is only here. Your consciousness contains the universe within it, and that is what you are experiencing. Beyond time and space. When you fall fully into that realization, you align with your soul and with God in completely synchronized loving awareness. Some call this God realization or enlightenment. Something that has always existed within you, within all of us.

So you can stop wondering why you happen to be in this particular place with these particular people at this particular time. You are all here to shine your lights and to see more clearly because of it. You are each a catalyst for one another’s unfolding and evolution. Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, it is perfect. Inside the simplicity of “You are here” is the recognition of eternal Presence and divine design.