My Life in Waves

In the past few years, I’ve found that life has become a series of waves that rise and fall continuously, carrying varied emotions with them. Even in the course of one day, I can feel sadness, happiness, peace, unrest, and calm again. And part of me, my soul, is just silently observing it all. My soul’s view encompasses everything, expanding both inward and outward. My human physical self wonders about the meaning of all the wave action; my soul just accepts it. 

On New Year’s Day, I had a phone conversation with a longtime friend. We caught up with one another’s lives and then moved into a deeper, more sacred space as we spoke of a dear friend’s recent death and other friends courageously living with health issues. We talked about our own physical and emotional challenges as we age and also face a world increasingly at war with itself. She too has experienced her life as vacillating waves of sadness and joy, pain and love. Never one thing permanently but always shifting, moving, even within the space of a few hours. The longer we talked, the more our hearts opened, and a shared awareness passed seamlessly between us. We each found that some experiences had slowed us down and yet that very slowing had allowed us to live fully in the moment and to see the world anew.

My breast cancer journey in 2021-22 deepened my connection to Spirit while lessening my desire for outer busyness. At times, I became a quiet witness to life as it passed before me and through me. Many of my most profound moments of joy in living were/are in Nature, especially with birds, flowers, trees, and the ever-changing sky. As I described this to my friend and listened to her description of walking in the woods and living each moment completely, I could feel that same truth touch us both. 

 And it began to expand further as I realized that the more I live in the moment, the more that moment opens up to include everything! If I look at all parts of life the way I look at Nature (intensively, expansively, with love), then that is perhaps the greatest wisdom of all. Whether I am active or contemplative, I am always centered in my soul’s inner stillness. I could feel it happening within me as she and I spoke.

I am actually one with the waves that are my life, that are all of our lives. We rise and fall, expand and contract, with the cosmic tides that affect everything in the universe. Our lives reflect the spirit within us and in the world. Some call this connection to God or Universal Consciousness. The words we use don’t really matter. It is the motion, the flow, of something greater that carries us. We are being moved to fulfill our destiny as evolving souls on an evolving planet. The stardust that brought us here is lighting the way, even when things seem unclear or unsteady. And it is the waves that are bringing us Home—to a sparkling golden ocean that encompasses All That Is.

Breath

The breath doesn’t disappear when you stop breathing at the end of your life. It is the source of your breathing, and it continues, just as your spirit continues. Indeed, breath and spirit are one and the same (identical word in some languages). This is a wisdom we come to as we pass from this world to the next. The Spirit that brought you life as you know it here on Earth, through your breath, is never-ending.

If you are fortunate, you may come to this awareness within your lifetime. Sudden jolts to your habitual way of perceiving the world can awaken this cognitive/emotional expansion. Crises or change, as well as deep spiritual practices, frequently have a transformative effect on your view of yourself and all of life. What seemed solid and unchanging suddenly becomes fluid and ever-shifting. You begin to realize that the “unknown,” that which we haven’t yet solidified into facts, is perhaps your greatest source of expansive wisdom.

Birth and death bookend our physical lives, but eventually we see them as illusions that we invented to explain what appears to be a beginning and ending. In truth, we are part of an infinite continuity of being, the eternal Spirit that fills the universe and our physical forms with awareness. A profound soul awareness that expands with each breath we take, each experience we live. The entire universe is within you, as you are within it. Sounds contradictory but only when your mind organizes the world into inner/outer, beginning/ending. From the soul’s view, everything is one, without polarity or edges.

Some religious traditions see eternity as a heavenly after-life in which we are reunited with our loved ones who have already passed into a world similar to the one we live in here—but where peace prevails. We often picture gods and goddesses who inhabit that world, there to comfort and guide us. Yet perhaps it is we who are the gods and goddesses living on Earth in human form and there is no after-life, only the eternal Now. Divinity is everywhere.

The human mind longs to find truth, to define life and death, so that we can keep fear at bay. Fear, however, is a product of the mind and of the need to know. Peace arises from the heart and soul, from a profound acceptance and understanding that is beyond questions, answers, and definitions. I find that when I become lost in fear of the unknown and the vastness of infinity, it is because my mind is frantically spinning its wheels. If I breathe deeply and allow a deeper awareness beyond the mental to arise within me, I settle into the “peace that passes understanding.” This is the eternal breath. The journey of my lifetime, of all of our lifetimes, is to recognize that peaceful presence as Home and one another as soul family. In doing so, we experience eternity with every sweet breath in each present moment.

Framing Your Life

“It’s all in how you frame it,” a good friend once said to me when I was lamenting something that had recently occurred in my life. This gem of wisdom has remained with me ever since. It shifts everything when you remember to call it actively into your conscious awareness. The gist is that whatever you picture seeing before you is what you will experience. Same with hearing. My friend refers to landscapers with their loud leaf-blowing equipment as “Tibetan Buddhist monks chanting.” Completely changes the experience from annoyance to laughter, and I invoke that image when I hear them blowing/chanting outside where I live.

Actually I learned some of this from my parents. My dad tended to see first the problems that needed to be addressed and solved (weeds, a leak, rabbits eating his garden). My mother looked out the window and saw the flowers, birds, and sunrise. The optimist’s view. Not that she didn’t see problems or that my dad missed seeing the birds; together they were a complementary blending—which I inherited. And both my parents had the sense of humor that my friend showed with his monks-chanting analogy. We often laughed at such silly things in our household when I was growing up. I’ve carried those shared smiles with me from childhood on.

Now, even though I thrive most on sunshine, I’ve found that seeing rain as renewal for Mother Earth’s greenery helps me appreciate the balance it provides. When I’m running errands, if I miss a bus, I remind myself there must be a reason, so then I immediately know that the person I have a conversation with on the next bus is someone I was meant to meet. This imaginative reframing can touch every moment of life, even a breast cancer diagnosis, which I received three years ago. When I framed it in peace instead of fear, I experienced my treatment as a spiritual gateway—and a surpisingly expansive gift. Anne too is finding her own wise reframing (gratitude for life) with a similar diagnosis.

Our lives pass by so quickly. How we see the events of our days can mean the difference between regret and acceptance, sadness and joy. As each year’s end approaches, this overview can become particularly clear. To celebrate the blessing of every moment we are given in our lifetimes is to know not only wisdom but deep inner peace. And ultimately to realize the sweet intermingling of all our life experiences, creating a tapestry of light.

Nature gives us stunning visual examples of this truth all the time. When a bright yellow leaf floats to the ground in autumn, it is not separate from the leaves still on the tree or those resting below it. It is a part of the continuity of all life that flows through the year in perfect synchronicity. This oneness of being includes the air and the tree branches, the summer sun and the winter snow, the light and the dark. Life on Earth is a circular, multidimensional work of art that gives us the opportunity to experience every possible aspect of its complexity, always magical if we see it that way. Over and over, with each passing picture, I find it’s all in how I frame it.

Peace of Mind, Now

How do we find peace in troubled times? It can often feel impossible. Yet the soul is always at peace. The mind, on the other hand, can easily slip into recycling opinions about, or conflicts with, others or the world at large. Previous judgments or disagreements have laid down tracks in the mind, which facilitate high-speed train-of-thought trips if triggered by something from the outside. Perhaps a passing comment or behavior, the news, a memory. However it begins, the mental editorial debate continues and repeats in an almost unstoppable manner, unless we consciously intervene.

The nature of the mind tends toward problem-solving in which any perceived conflict is something that needs to be resolved by logical discourse. So the mind repeats and repeats potential responses meant to convince, change, or solve. At times, my mind-train travels down those tracks. A stranger’s seeming unkindness or a news item about some political discord can springboard my mind into action. I find myself in the midst of an imagined argument, trying to convince a nebulous or specific “other” of the necessity for (choose any or all) compassion, environmental protection, human rights, the end of guns and war, etc. The very idea of trying to convince others of the need for compassion seems fruitless and somewhat ridiculous if I pause for a moment. Actually, it all seems completely unnecessary in that paused moment. The Pause is key. As is repeating the Pause, one breath at a time, until the train is derailed.

How to do that? How to remember to invite the soul to take over instead, to bring peace to the mind’s agitation? It takes repetition and intention. And conscious interrupters, like walking outdoors, birdsong, music, yoga…whatever centers you in your heart (gateway to the soul) instead of the mind. The mind is useful for daily functioning in the material world, but it can get out of control, and it needs calming on a regular basis. Meditation serves that purpose as do quiet walks in Nature. Anything that silences the mind’s chatter and repetition of old recordings.

And the alternative to internal or external debate? Living the peace and compassion instead of arguing about it. When the mind is at peace, it is not moved to engage in disagreement, dissension, or judgment. A mind at peace is aligned with the soul, and the soul sees oneness not separation. In these turbulent times, we need every ounce of peace available—and it is always available when you remember to Pause.  In that moment, look up at the trees, the stars, the infinite universe around you—therein lies a soul peace that is beyond the mind’s understanding but will fill your heart and the hearts of all those you share it with.

Language of the Soul

The language of the soul is silence. No words to define reality or limit perception. When we completely align with our souls, we too are wordless. As we were before birth and will be again after death. What is the advantage to being wordless? you might ask. Well, it clears your consciousness. It allows you to be fully present in each moment and each experience. No looking backward or forward; just looking.  The eyes of the soul see nothing and everything simultaneously.

Life on Earth today challenges us to remain balanced in the midst of a very noisy, topsy-turvy world: political conflicts, wars, health pandemics, erosion of human rights, environmental stresses. You struggle to understand and come into balance with the chaos that surrounds you. At times you feel overwhelmed. Yet beneath all the external sound and confusion, your soul sits silently observing. When you take a deep breath and pause quietly, you become one with that presence which is soul awareness.

More and more now, as I live deeper into my life (in years and in experiences), I often find myself with no desire to speak for long stretches of time. On my morning or afternoon walks, I am content to watch all that unfolds around me (and within me) in silence, immersed in soul vision. Huge clouds drift across the bluest of skies, yellow-and-black goldfinches twitter rhythmically as they fly over the treetops, honey and bumble bees visit the flowering Rose of Sharon bushes. Nature evokes peace in my heart.

In truth, I have spent years in training to be at home in silence because I am a birdwatcher. If people talk loudly and make a lot of noise, they scare away the birds. The quieter you are as you walk slowly among the trees, the more the natural world opens up and continues as if you weren’t there. In stillness, you become almost invisible. Robins and catbirds land on nearby branches and sing. Squirrels, rabbits, and chipmunks scurry past. A solitary great blue heron fishes in a pond. Butterflies and dragonflies float by. All part of a multidimensional orchestra in which I too am a participant. The music of the spheres flows silently through each of us at the soul level.

We all play this music; we all understand this language. We were born knowing it. We may not always be aware of it, but it lives deep within us. We feel it when we lie quietly in the darkness before sleep, comforted by soundless sound. At times of great sorrow or great joy, that silent language of the soul expresses what words cannot. We look into one another’s eyes, and we see the gentle light of love shining across time and space. Here we can rest; here we are at home.