Divine Infusions

I have straddled the worlds of western medicine and holistic health most of my life. As a child, I saw an Illinois allergist for many years who helped me with desensitization shots for my chronic multiple allergies. When I was 18, doctors in Venice, Italy, saved my life when my appendix burst on a trip with a student group. As an adult, I began to gravitate to alternative remedies like herbs, as well as acupuncture, chiropractic, homeopathy, massage, and meditation. I became an organic vegetarian. I continued to see my very supportive primary care physician for yearly checkups and prescriptions for migraines, but I was aware of the shifts in prevailing consciousness (and funding) that influence what is available at any given time. Every decision I made arose from my own intuition about which path served me best.

My recent diagnosis of early-stage breast cancer catapulted me into an unexpected journey that actually allowed me to learn so much more about western medicine, particularly as it relates to treating breast cancer. I found myself in the hands of three knowledgeable and compassionate doctors who worked as a team to customize my care and were able to explain it clearly and understandably to me. I absolutely knew I was on the right path. Once again, all my decisions are grounded in my own inner guidance, and I have felt profoundly guided from the beginning. Never more so than last week, when I received my first chemotherapy infusion, the treatment I had feared the most.

All I can say is that it was a divinely orchestrated day, every bit of it. The staff at the chemo Infusion Center were wonderful, human angels every one of them. Thorough and careful about all they did. I sat peacefully in my own little room with heated blankets, looking out at trees and sunshine during my treatment. I had been saying for a week or so that I was going to receive a sacred elixir from medical alchemists, and I truly felt that. The words came to me from deep inside, my own spiritual perspective on what was happening. Throughout history, alchemists in many countries, some well-known scientists, have worked with energy and matter to find ways to cure diseases or transmute matter. Modern medicine and science probably do not see a connection between that work and theirs, but within my own experience, I felt myself once again bridging worlds, even dimensions.

As the nursing staff explained what the chemotherapy does and answered my questions, I felt my spiritual vision expand and deepen. What moved it along even further was an iPod that I had brought along, filled with Panache Desai’s meditations. I was drawn to one program in particular: “Align, Attune, Ascend,” which I had loved but hadn’t listened to for years. When I looked at the listings, I found that the word infusion was included in several titles, and Panache referred to all of the meditations as “vibrational infusions.” The synchronicity was unmistakable!

The first one I chose to listen to during my treatment was “Body Ascension Infusion,” and it was perfect. The words themselves were powerfully infused with energy and light (Panache spoke of releasing the density in the cells and allowing homeostasis and balance to occur), and the Solfeggio Frequency music that accompanied the meditations amplified everything. I felt myself carried along on the combined energy of the chemotherapy infusion and the vibrational infusion, both divine. I was receiving a sacred elixir of medical and spiritual alchemy. My words, my experience. “It’s all in how you frame it,” a friend once said to me. I returned home to rest quietly, and gratefully. Every moment of the day pure grace.

Your Soul Knows Best

Sometimes it seems as if life is random, crazy, a mistake of cosmic proportions. It isn’t. There is intent and purpose woven into the fabric of the universe. And your soul knows this. Your soul chose this lifetime for its own evolution, for humanity’s evolution. We humans are on a collective journey through diverse Earth experiences to integrate polarities and find our way back to balance, peace, and harmony. The soul is our guide.

The challenge for the soul-as-human is to reach peaceful harmony within a physical form with its complex emotions, thoughts, and anatomical circuitry. At times it can seem overwhelming. However, if you remind yourself that your soul chose the scenarios and experiences of your lifetime for its own growth and expansion, then perhaps you can come to acceptance and even gratitude. It’s not necessarily something that will make sense to the mind, but your heart naturally allows life to flow through it. If you remain centered in your heart, life will feel more whole and less fragmented.

In truth, we are each one cell within a greater whole that includes the entire cosmos, every part connected to every other part. There are no mistakes at the level of universal consciousness. Everything is unfolding perfectly for our evolution. This is probably the greatest lesson of my lifetime. When I can view all of my life—both the joy and the pain—as a symphony written and orchestrated long before I was born, then I can let go of the need to control and relax into just being. The music of the spheres plays itself unassisted, and I begin to see the miracles. I realize that I am living out a beautiful divine design.

Every morning is a fresh opportunity to remember these truths and live in awakened consciousness. Not always easy, because my mind gets distracted and forgets. My breath is the built-in reminder that I am spirit beyond form. If I begin each day with quiet conscious breathing in meditation, my thoughts slow down and fade to the background. I settle into a deeper awareness that God is breathing life into my physical body in every moment. Taking a deep breath periodically throughout the day (ongoing meditation) returns me to that focus. It aligns me with my soul and with Presence.

God’s presence on Earth is experienced through the soul. When you let your mind’s filter become transparent, your soul’s light can shine fully, and divine Presence is known. This is soul vision and soul awareness. Live life for the experience, not the results. Immerse yourself in the present moment, and you forget about past/future and cause/effect. You are limitless and free. The wonder of the Now is all-encompassing. It’s why we came here. To move through what appear to be challenges and finally see everything as grace. To live the infinite in a finite world. To recognize God in yourself, in others, and in everything. And to understand finally that your soul and your heart are your wisest guides, always.

When Opportunity Knocks

Photograph © 2020 Peggy Kornegger

One of my favorite board games when I was growing up was called Careers. It came with a small set of Opportunity cards, which you chose every time you landed on an “Opportunity Knocks” square on the board. Each card directed you to a different career adventure. For some reason, I remembered this game the other day and thought how we all could probably use Opportunity reminders in our lives. The deeper I dive into the wisdom of accepting all life events as part of my soul’s journey, the more I realize that each event is an opportunity to surrender.

Within that framework, even the most painful and challenging experience (such as living through a global pandemic) is a doorway to greater expansion and growth. When I look back at my life, I can see the flowering into something new that occurred on the other side of what seemed like disaster or tragedy. Life is always presenting us with these opportunities to remain open to change and rebirth, often accompanied by fear or discomfort. If we can remember that that uncomfortable feeling is the precursor to possibility, then we can answer the door with peace in our hearts when opportunity knocks. Birth is always uncomfortable, but untold miracles await us if we relax into the process. The emergence of a new consciousness, a new Earth, is part of that.

So my latest self-reminder is to see each experience, each event, each moment, as an opportunity to surrender ever more deeply into the flow of life. Life as it is unfolding on one planet in one dimension in the multiverse. I am part of something so much grander than my own limited perception of it, an infinite tapestry of beingness that spans all time and space. That thought can be either terrifying or inspiring depending on how open I can remain within my heart and mind. And how deeply connected I am to my soul. Because the surrender I am talking about is ultimately to my soul, to the Spirit within.

My soul knows the design of my life. It was in on the pre-birth planning with God (or Goddess, Source, Spirit). The cosmos is not an accident. Your life is not an accident. There is a greater design beyond the human mind’s ability to understand or explain. At a certain point, we have to let go of figuring things out and just experience the Mystery that is life. To witness it with awe and wonder, as our soul does. That is the sacred gift of life: just to be here, to be present within this extraordinary experience of life on Earth and fully appreciate it. Fully receive it.

I spent so many years trying, instead of just receiving. We are taught that. To try to achieve, to accomplish, to create a life that is perfect. The personality-self, or ego, thinks that in striving and trying we are actually controlling outcomes, forgetting that there is a greater divine orchestration going on that our souls are part of. The universe is very generous and loving. When we try so hard to control events, we are actually slowing down the natural process of giving and receiving that life is based on. When we remain open and surrender to each moment, life can flow through us with ease. The ego tries to control; the soul just receives.

So when you hear unexpected change knocking at your door, think of it as a meditation bell reminding you of another opportunity to let go and receive life at the deepest level. This is why we’re here in human bodies, to learn to soften into oneness, into loving-awareness, into a Presence that includes everything. We think life is a board game, but it’s really divine grace unfolding….

 

Living Peace, Allowing Grief

Photograph © 2020 Peggy Kornegger
Yesterday just before sunrise I was overwhelmed by feelings of sadness, grief, and mourning. Tears streamed down my face. The unfathomable loss of life around the world from the coronavirus hit me like an avalanche. The number of cases is continuing to rise here in Florida and throughout the U.S. My thoughts turned to Boston friends who had died of cancer in the last year and the trip home to Massachusetts in May that Anne and I had to cancel. My own and the world’s sorrow and pain rushed through my body in waves as I wept. Gradually, after a time, it subsided, tear by tear, and I sat quietly in the half-darkness, breathing in the silence. The sky began to lighten. Then, as if in answer to my heart’s call for comfort, a mockingbird began to sing its morning song, a medley of every possible birdcall it had ever heard. My heart lifted, as it always does when I hear a mockingbird.

This is how life works. You fall head first into grief, your heart cracks open, and through that crack, grace enters: a birdsong or a sunrise, the comforting words of a friend or the kindness of a stranger. Grace takes many forms, but it always brings us back to the peace at our core, our soul’s presence. I realized that even as I wept in pain and sadness, I had not lost the feeling of inner peace that has been with me since the beginning of the year, an ongoing connection to something greater. Growing awareness of the peace that lives within us will be our greatest strength in these times of huge planetary change. We are learning to let go of the known and trust in something beyond knowing.

My own years of spiritual exploration and questioning have at last settled into trust in a universal Presence (or God) that holds the Earth in its loving embrace. We—meaning humanity—are going through a tremendous shift and rebalancing on this planet. It is a release of inharmonious old patterns, an opening into greater awareness, and ultimately a coming together in oneness. It may not look like it on the surface, but I feel that is what is happening. All of my adult life I have believed in such a shift, foreseen by elders and masters in many traditions and cultures. That vision has inspired and sustained me through the years. Now it is occurring, more and more powerfully.

This paradigm shift is not pretty, a gift tied up with sparkly wrapping paper and bows. It is messy and painful, as all birth is. Fear and anger come up, as well as mourning the end of a familiar but worn-out way of life. In the midst of all those emotions, something new is being born on this planet, and we are all part of the process, midwives and newborns, angels and human beings. What appears to be chaos, conflict, and a shattered world weighed down by suffering is actually the shedding of an old skin and a restrictive structure that has been killing our spirits instead of uplifting them. In the ruins of the current paradigm based in top/down exclusion, a new one is arising that is centered in circular process and inclusion. Humanity is rediscovering its collective soul through the experiences and expanding consciousness of every single courageous one of us.

A cause for celebration, yes. Still, there is sadness, loss. Life on Earth, even in a new, more open and compassionate world, is never just one thing. A utopian vision must include the full spectrum of human emotion and being. We came to this planet, God incarnated in form through us, to experience it all. When we accept that—the sorrow and the gladness, the breaking and the healing of our hearts—we can then hold within us both grief and deep peace. The grief is human; the peace is divine. If we live life fully connected to our souls, peace and calm never leave us, even as the tears flow. In full acceptance of all that we feel and all of life as it is unfolding, we can experience that peace and live it in the world. It is who we are and why we are here.

A Conscious Reset

Photograph © 2018 Peggy Kornegger
There are times in life when you may feel as if you’re running backward down a dark alley that has no outlet. Kind of like a bad dream. When you finally realize you’re backing yourself into a dead end, there’s nothing to do but stop, take a deep breath, and look honestly at where you are. In fact, you are being given a precious opportunity to fully awaken and live with greater awareness. It’s what I call a conscious reset. And it’s what I’m experiencing right now.

This past year, a series of losses and life-direction changes hit me hard with their collective force. I couldn’t understand why, if I was following clear divine guidance, things were not unfolding divinely. They were just plain painful. It was one of those “God, why hast thou forsaken me?” moments. Yet deep inside, my soul knew exactly what was going on. It took me a while to re-align with that wisdom, but I learned a lot in the process. I had to consciously, intentionally, raise my head above the onslaught and see with God’s eyes.

When I was able to look at things more clearly, more “soulfully,” I came to realize an important truth: It’s easy to believe that I am being divinely guided when everything is going well and I am surrounded by synchronicities and miracles. The real challenge is to trust that I am also being guided when nothing makes sense, and everything appears to be falling apart. To have faith that even the seeming setbacks are happening for my evolution as a soul within a complex cosmic plan that includes all souls and all of the universe. I am one thread in the divine tapestry, as are we all, and we each play a key part.

Even in difficult circumstances and events, there is a greater purpose. The razor edge of pain can pierce our armor of assumption and habit and make us more acutely aware of the sweet grace of everyday life. For there are synchronicities and miracles in loss, sadness, and struggle, but we don’t always have the clarity of vision to perceive them. The more we are awakened by life’s events, the more we can see that God is in everything, without exception. Confusion and crisis come to us to encourage trust and surrender, the gateway to peace at the deepest level.

A conscious reset, then, does not mean you have brought disaster upon yourself through failure or negligence. It doesn’t mean blaming yourself or trying to erase the past. A conscious reset involves the way you look at things; it means seeing life positively, not negatively. Some call that the “silver lining” or “rose-colored glasses.” But it’s not a false happiness that ignores difficult emotions. A positive worldview accepts everything as part of the human evolution on this planet. One that trends to love instead of fear or doubt. You can emerge from even the darkest alley into the sunlight.

For me, a conscious reset meant stepping out of complaining and criticizing, either situations or people. One way to support that is a “negativity fast.” My partner and I agreed to do that last month. We made a sign that said “No Criticism. No Judgment. No Complaining. No Irritation,” and we placed it where we would consistently notice it. We gently (or humorously) reminded each other if one of us slipped into a negative outlook. It helped. What also helped was thinking of one thing to be grateful for each morning and holding that in my consciousness throughout the day. And taking walks in which I silently expressed gratitude for everything I saw. It is a heart-opening practice.

You or I may still find ourselves in an experience that triggers sadness, fear, or upset, but if we have consciously committed to feeling those emotions in a larger context of trust, then we can return to a more peaceful state of mind. We let life just flow as it’s meant to without trying to control the outcome. This is the soul’s greatest wisdom, which it is perfectly willing to share if we just pause and listen. What better way to begin a new year?