Tag: gratitude

Farewell to Florida

Photograph © 2020 Peggy Kornegger
As our last weeks in Florida go by, I find myself looking with fresh eyes at the natural world right outside our door, just like I did when we first arrived here. When you know you are moving (and who knows when you will return), everything takes on a special light, a different vibration. Habit falls away and you see every detail with delight and appreciation. A group of ten white ibises with long curved orange beaks walks slowly past our lanai. A palm warbler on the window ledge looks around curiously, bobbing its tail. A giant swallowtail butterfly, the largest in the U.S., serenely floats by and lands on a bush next to the trail where I am walking. A zebra longwing butterfly flutters in the air nearby. So many amazing creatures so close and clearly visible. None of them native to Massachusetts. These are once-in-a-lifetime moments, I say to myself; savor them.

There are such moments in New England too, of course—birds and butterflies I have missed seeing and look forward to seeing again soon. Yet, now, here, in this present moment, I am appreciating Florida’s tropical uniqueness. The exotic flowers that bloom throughout the year, the palm and cypress trees, the multiplicity of water birds, the spectacular cloud formations and dramatic weather patterns. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t see something I’ve never seen before. What a gift! I’ve known this all along, but today, looking ahead to the leaving, I really know it.

So this is the greater lesson of being here—and, really, of being a human on planet Earth: Don’t take anything for granted. Always look at the world as if for the first, or last, time. Appreciate every moment, every beautiful detail of life and living. You may never pass this way again. You may never see a robin in the spring or a maple tree in the autumn. An orchid or hibiscus in full bloom. You may never see someone you love again. Look in their eyes and see their soul each time you are together. Look in the eyes of your animal companion and see their absolute love and devotion. Your time here on Earth is sacred.

I remember this as I look out the window or take my daily walks these final weeks in Florida. This is my life, every extraordinary unrepeatable second, the sadness as well as the joy. To be human is to be given a cornucopia of daily wonders. If I hold this truth in my heart each day, then I live with love and gratitude, and no moment, no experience, passes that I don’t fully appreciate. This is the gift that Florida has given me: I have been reminded once more to let go of everything that is not essential and see the world, every bit of it, as the blessing it truly is.

Homeward Once More

Photograph © 2020 Peggy Kornegger
After two and a half years in Florida, my partner Anne and I are moving back to Massachusetts. It is a decision of the heart. We are choosing to be closer to family and old friends and to remembered places that fill us with great love and appreciation. We are returning home. A few weeks ago, as I was on hold while buying our airline tickets to Boston, Simon and Garfunkel’s song “Homeward Bound” began playing in my ear. The synchronicity was unmistakable. I burst into tears.

Those tears held all my feelings of the last two years, as well as the years prior to that. Life is always a mix of joy and sadness, whether you are arriving or leaving. Within each is the seed of the other. And so it is now. I will miss the beauty of the natural world in Southwest Florida and the friendships I have made here, but I will also be filled with happiness at seeing lifelong friends and family members again, as well as beloved nature sanctuaries in New England. Of all the places I have lived in the U.S.—Midwest, South, East and West coasts—Massachusetts feels most like home to me. Part of it is the quality and length of the relationships with people: shared experiences, shared affection. But it is also a deep connection to the earth and nature. I spent countless hours walking, gardening, and bird-watching there. Often the birds would come to sing to me as I planted flowers in my garden—the best of all possible worlds. It is those kinds of connections—hands in the soil, heart open to the world’s wonders—that make a place feel like home.

There are many kinds of homes, of course: The home where I grew up, in the countryside of rural Illinois. The years of excited exploration and awakening in California. The home that Anne and I share, no matter where we are, because of the love that weaves our lives together. And the home within me where Spirit rests in my soul. This latter home is the one that connects me to the Home beyond this lifetime, where we all return eventually. Who is to say which home is best, or more deeply experienced? Each has its place in my lifetime, and each is treasured. In the end, all these homes come together in my heart and become one. When I meditate, I drop into that sacred place, my inner sanctuary, which includes every feeling of home I have ever experienced. With one single breath, I am home.

This is the heart feeling that arises when I hear an old song that reminds me of familiar places and people: “Homeward Bound.” I am always moving toward that center of love that carries me so beautifully through life. In the course of our lives, we circle around to return to where we began, no matter where we have lived or traveled. We come home to ourselves. It is in the circle and the return that I feel peace and profound gratitude for every moment fully lived, every person deeply loved, and every experience completely embraced. My heart expands to encompass all of life as a blessing, as home.

Welcoming Obstacles and Mystery

Photograph © 2019 Peggy Kornegger
Ganesha is one of the better-known and beloved deities in Hindu teachings: the remover of obstacles, the god of new beginnings as well as wisdom. I have always been fond of his representation with an elephant’s head. When I moved to Florida, I bought a small statue of his likeness to place near our front door. Following tradition, I rubbed his nose lovingly as I passed in or out of the condo. I felt connected to the energy of new beginnings, free of obstacles, trusting that all my dreams about this adventure would unfold perfectly.

Well, Ganesh can be a trickster as well as divine support. He can place obstacles in your path as well as remove them, all in service to your soul’s journey. This little bit of wisdom showed itself again and again as my expectations about sharing my life with a community of friends here manifested only temporarily, and things that had seemed certain began to dissolve all around me. Surrender was repeatedly the only wise response to unexpected change. I discovered that the real obstacles that Ganesh was dedicated to removing were those between me and God. All of them. And this was Ganesh’s wisdom: let go, let God.

Over the course of two years, I received this wisdom at deeper and deeper levels: through the events of my life, through a worldwide pandemic, through political upheaval—and through extraordinary moments of divine connection in Nature. The natural world here in Florida transports the soul. At any given moment, I can look up at the powder-blue sky and constantly changing cloud formations and feel as if I am in heaven, immersed in sacred energy. White ibises and snowy egrets flying overhead add to the mystery and beauty. Every morning, when I walk along a nearby nature trail, I am immediately in an altered state of receptive awareness. And this is where Ganesh delivered his summation statement to me a few weeks ago, visually and then aurally.

As I passed a group of cypress trees on the trail, I suddenly stepped into a cloud of long-winged zebra butterflies. Their black-and-white wings flashed in the morning light shining through the tree branches, creating an optical illusion of appearance and disappearance, as if they were moving from one dimension to another. I could feel my heart open into a profound soul connection to God, tears of love and gratitude in my eyes. Then, as I shifted my gaze to the beams of brilliant sunlight, I heard within me: “You did not come to Florida to live in a community. You came here to experience God.” Truth. Ganesh’s truth. My soul’s truth. And I immediately recognized it as such.

Photograph © 2020 Peggy Kornegger
So now I see, more clearly each day, why I was brought here. In the empty spaces outside of human life plans, you can hear wisdom, you can feel peace, and you can become one with your soul. And “community” is wider and deeper than one place, one time frame; it spans the globe and lives in the heart of humanity. I also understand more fully that planning the details doesn’t always lead to certainty of outcome. I can only open the door and welcome everything that appears, flowing with the mysteries of the universe. Every seeming obstacle is a guidepost to God. Thank you, Ganesha.

Your Unique Soul Journey

Photograph © 2020 Peggy Kornegger
Our soul journeys—how we find our way to recognizing the enlightenment or God that lives within us—are completely unique to each of us. I mean completely. Even your closest friend or wisest spiritual teacher is not on exactly the same path as you. We need to remember and honor the wisdom within us that is our guide in this, especially now at this time of such tumultuous change in the external world. The old religious structures that prescribed certain behaviors and beliefs, monitored by an external authority figure, are not the wave of the future. Neither are current spiritual programs that revolve around the popularity of one teacher or speaker. Previous paradigms of all kinds are falling away. We may eventually live in a “flexi-paradigm,” part of an ever-evolving and expansive collective consciousness. Within that, each one of us is singular, unrepeatable.

Over the years, I have found wisdom and inspiration in a variety of places. Everything I received from external sources, however, had to resonate with something inside me in order for me to experience it as true. I think this is probably the case for most of us. I came to realize that there is no one viewpoint or perspective that supersedes my own soul’s voice, the peaceful essence at my core. My life journey upon this Earth is unique to my particular human/divine embodiment. God speaks to, through, each of us differently.

My spiritual path has become primarily centered in a connection to Spirit through Nature and the beauty and light found therein. It is something I can find anywhere on this Earth. Even one flower in a single flowerpot holds that sacred life force. I celebrate this connection through my presence, love, and gratitude. Life becomes a living meditation, a never-ending prayer. It is not a mental process; it arises spontaneously from my heart and soul when I am immersed in the natural world. Simple loving awareness. No breaks in which I am or am not in meditation or prayer. I am always there.

Perhaps spirituality and religion began with the voice of one seeker speaking his/her awareness into the silence. Someone heard and repeated it, and then someone else repeated that, and eventually it was written down. Over the centuries form overtook essence, and we lost the free-flowing aspect of our connection to something greater in this universe. Now, in this unusual transformative time on planet Earth, form in all its various manifestations is falling away, and essence is once again appearing. The ancient wisdom “Look within” for God, for peace, is being heard again as if for the first time.

Truly, you yourself are God, as are we all. We can listen to, and learn from, one another’s soul stories, but we cannot walk this journey in someone else’s footsteps. Divine intelligence has given each of us a blueprint, a piece of the puzzle, which is our gift and blessing in this lifetime. Individually, as we live each moment in gratitude and compassion, we become part of a oneness that weaves each unique individual thread into a collective tapestry of peaceful universal consciousness. God returning to God, who never really left.

Peace from Gratitude

Charles Dickens described the French Revolution as “the best of times” and the “worst of times.” We could use similar words to describe our world now. There is chaos, conflict, death, and destruction on the one hand, and love, compassion, and the birth of a new more aware consciousness on the other. We who are alive at this time are bridges between the old and the new, Heaven and Earth, humanity and divinity. To hold all that within us requires great courage as well as deep inner peace. How do we achieve that? One of the most effective and powerful ways is to hold gratitude in your heart, to see the world through that lens, even with tears of sadness in your eyes. There is always something to be grateful for in life, whatever the circumstances.