Tag: love

Poignancy and Gratitude

When you are in your teens and 20s, life seems to extend into the future like an endless expanse of potential experiences. You can’t imagine not having the opportunity to visit places you love again or see friends and family regularly. As you grow older and encounter both loss and change, life takes on a quality of uncertainty, sweetness tinged with sorrow. A favorite uncle or a parent dies, friends move away, you yourself may move multiple times. The tapestry of life is always shifting, and we too shift with the changes. At a certain point, you may realize that the years ahead are possibly fewer than those behind. It may awaken a deep sense of appreciation for every moment you are given. This is how our lives teach us gratitude. Yet now, at this time on the planet, that lesson is coming up in unexpected ways.

We are living through a period of heightened sensitivity to life and death. The global COVID pandemic has made everything seem tenuous at times, transitory. The ancient Buddhist wisdom of “impermanence” is suddenly front and center in our daily lives. Will we get beyond the losses and emptiness, the holes in the infrastructure we took for granted? And what about health and life itself? There is a kind of poignancy in every memory and every present interaction. But there is also—if we are open to it—gratitude.

Toward the end of 2020, my partner Anne and I moved from Florida back to Massachusetts. We had spent two and a half years in Florida, but in considering where we wanted to be in the future, the choice became clear: where we felt most at home. And that would be Massachusetts. COVID intensified those feelings. As the years go by, and as I live through this pandemic, the assumption that I will do things an infinite number of times seems to fall away. I wonder: “Will I ever see that person or place again? Will I have that experience once more?” Every single day becomes extremely precious, never to be taken for granted.

So perhaps all of us now on this planet are being given the gift of treasuring each moment of life and each relationship, wherever we are and whomever we are with. When I wake up on a cold winter’s morning in New England, I can either question leaving the warmth of Florida behind, or I can look out the window at the scarlet sunrise and the wild geese flying overhead and smile in gratitude for another day of life. Timeless moments in which to experience the love of friends/family and the natural beauty in the world around me. Cardinals and chickadees calling. Tree silhouettes with tiny buds on the branches. Bulbs pushing up through the earth as spring approaches. Rebirth is a part of the cycle of life too, and in spite of our losses and tears, there is always a spark of life renewed.

All that we are experiencing now, whatever our age, can be challenging and cause us to dig deep within for inner stamina and courage. But we have those. Our strong hearts embody love. Our souls are a reservoir of peace and wisdom. We are nourished by the connections between us. What if loss is ultimately just change, renewal—the rebirth of our lives and our planet? No matter what is happening, we can feel grateful for the poignantly beautiful blessing of life itself.

Whatever You Don’t Want

Consider this possibility: Everything you don’t want in your life (pain, loss, difficult relationships, fear) could be there as a catalyst for you on your soul journey in this lifetime. What you resist or reject may be your greatest teacher. We come to Earth to have experiences, the full spectrum, not just the “good stuff.” That’s what being human is all about. And what is “good” anyway? The viewpoints of today can be completely reversed tomorrow. What you grieve over losing may later be shown to be a huge blessing. So what if everything is a blessing, no matter what it looks like?

Over time, I finally began to see the full truth of that bit of wisdom. I realized that the challenges I’ve faced in my life were in fact huge catalysts for me on my soul journey. Many years ago, chronic headaches and neck pain from a muscle injury led me to explore alternative healing (acupuncture, massage, chiropractic, meditation), which in turn led me to spiritual teachings. And my lifelong fear of infinity/eternity pushed me to go even further with those spiritual teachings. A few weeks ago, during an expansive meditation, I was shown an overview of my lifetime in which so many connections were clear. I could see that the pain and fear were actually my soul guides on this life journey. Suddenly, my wise friend Panache Desai’s words made complete sense: “No matter what shows up, it’s there to take you deeper.”

I can’t tell you how much that insight, that overview, has changed how I feel day to day. I no longer get so caught up in complaining and bemoaning the difficulties of life. I am grateful that I was led to spiritual teachers who helped me reframe the fear and to health practices that helped lesson the pain. And along the way, I have been given the gift of greater compassion for others and greater connection to Spirit. I feel empathy for friends and strangers alike in navigating the challenges of being human. I no longer perceive God as distant or unattainable but instead as an integral part of who I am and all that I experience. There is an Infinite Consciousness that I am aware of all the time now. Its very infinity, what has been my greatest fear, is also the source of my most profound and treasured experiences of the “Great Mystery” that is God. Ultimately, you discover that love is at the center of everything, and only that love is real. The rest are just passing signposts.

So before you react with anger or dismay at some aspect of your daily life experience, pause for a moment and consider that something more could be at play than just unfairness and bad luck. What if the luck is in just being alive? In having such a wide spectrum of human experiences? Souls line up in other dimensions to get the chance to come to Earth for this, both the woe and the wonder. Because within that diverse dance of emotions and reactions is a soul’s opportunity to expand and grow and become a brighter light in the cosmos. Did you think the entire universe was an accident? Look carefully at your life as a whole. Every detail is perfectly designed. You are a human angel, sent here to experience everything, see it all as love, and shine that love outward, across all dimensions.

Masks

Photograph © 2021 Peggy Kornegger
This blog article is not about the pros and cons of mask-wearing. Instead, I’d like to suggest a possible deeper meaning for this whole phenomenon. All around the world, people are wearing masks, for mutual protection and individual/collective health. When I pass someone on the street here in Massachusetts in winter, I see eyes and a mask—and lots of clothing. COVID has made us almost unrecognizable, one from the other. Sometimes it seems eerie or surreal—a science fiction scenario. Yet people often wave or gesture in a friendly way as they go by, bridging the social distance between us. In our anonymity, we are still human. And maybe, ultimately, that may be the gift of COVID: to show us in an unforgettable ongoing visual that we are really all the same. The masks hide our differences, and our common humanity is clearly visible in our eyes.

Over the past year, I have had vast stretches of time to ponder the greater significance of this pandemic in our lives. From the beginning, it seemed clear that there was a multi-faceted divine understory to what felt so overwhelmingly catastrophic and tragic. God had given us a timeout, a reset. Yes, we faced severe illness, suffering, and death on a global scale. Still, as the world shut down, and we sheltered in place, distanced from one another physically, the human spirit somehow found ways to reach into the emptiness with hope. People sang from their balconies and windows. They flooded the Internet with photographs of clear unpolluted skies, newly visible mountains, and wildlife returning. In looking into the distance and listening into the stillness, we realized how much we had been missing in our busy, noisy lives. Awareness arose in individual after individual. We could perceive the world and each other with greater clarity.

Simultaneously, the more clearly we saw, the more political conflict arose. People voiced their outrage at years of racist violence and oppression. Many listened while others refused to hear. Versions of opposing “truths” played out everywhere. Some viewed this ongoing turmoil as apocalyptic. To me, it was birth pains, the emergence of new possibilities as the destructive and unworkable fell away. My entire lifetime has pointed me in that direction. Countless prophecies of indigenous peoples and spiritual masters have envisioned this time. We are not destroying the Earth and humanity; we are being offered the gift of awakening, revitalization. What has been called the New Earth is now emerging.

On the New Earth, we embrace difference as part of Oneness, diversity as divine. In each other’s eyes, we see commonality and love, not opposition and hatred. We work together to create communities that circle the globe in peace and sister/brotherhood. No one ahead or above, all moving together as equals with unique gifts to share. This is the vision, and it is beginning to come into being now. So, perhaps those sometimes cumbersome and inconvenient masks are actually a blessing. In a world of multicolored masks, who is the enemy? Masks direct us to the eyes, which are the windows to the soul. And that’s who we are ultimately: souls on a fantastic journey on a wondrous blue planet, here to expand and evolve. When we look into one another’s eyes, we see the Soul, unified and infinite. That’s who we are, with or without masks.

 

Breathing Peace, Breathing Hope

Photograph © 2020 Peggy Kornegger

Last November, when a new President and Vice President were elected in the U.S., many of us cried tears of relief. We felt we could breathe again, even if just for a moment. Not that the huge problems that face this country had been solved, but lighter, more compassionate voices were speaking at the national level. Possibility was appearing once again, where impossibility had ruled. Hope was arising within us, and the distant dream of a peaceful resolution of divisions seemed somehow closer. Now, in the wake of last week’s violent break-in at the Capitol building in Washington, it is even more important to hold onto that dream and to move forward in peace.

On a planet of polarities like Earth is, we are daily confronted with opposites, seemingly in conflict with each other. Yet, perhaps they are here for us to embrace them, to come into balance with what appears to be broken wholeness. Maybe the human experience is all about healing separation, within ourselves and in the world. Is it possible that each opposite is in fact an opportunity to open our hearts to oneness? What if fear and mistrust exist so we can learn to love unconditionally? What if pain is present to engender compassion and kindness? And despair to spark hope? This is a stretch, I know, but consider the possibility that every experience we have is bringing us closer to aligning with our soul’s vision of life, which is that it is all perfectly orchestrated for our greater evolution into loving awareness.

This view helps me to put into perspective the up-and-down swing of global events (and my life) in recent years. I know in my heart that a Great Shift is occurring, one that affects everyone and everything at the deepest possible level. Yet how to live that awareness day to day in the face of injustice and hatred? Is peace possible on this planet? I believe it is, and I believe we are getting there, moment by moment, breath by breath. We learn how to live by seeing how we do not want to live. We learn the sweetness of peace by experiencing the bitterness of turmoil and struggle. We choose cooperation and unity when our human spirit is exhausted by antagonism and discord. The time for universal harmony on this planet is now. A harmony that holds difference with tenderness and respect, and joyfully sings every note on the diversity scale of humanity.

Who knows how post-election changes will play out? We are still passing through continually shifting scenarios of political dissension almost daily, as we hang onto the possibility of reconciliation. Such a coming together and rebalancing needs to occur beyond the infrastructure that defines a nation or state. It is among people that the change must occur, individually and collectively. A change of heart that brings a breath of fresh air to all those who have suffered from hatred, fear, or violence in their lives. It is the heart and the breath that give us life. So if life is to continue on this planet in any way that is sustainable, then together we must open our hearts to compassion, peace, and hope for humankind–and live that dream into the world with every breath we take.

Farewell to Florida

Photograph © 2020 Peggy Kornegger
As our last weeks in Florida go by, I find myself looking with fresh eyes at the natural world right outside our door, just like I did when we first arrived here. When you know you are moving (and who knows when you will return), everything takes on a special light, a different vibration. Habit falls away and you see every detail with delight and appreciation. A group of ten white ibises with long curved orange beaks walks slowly past our lanai. A palm warbler on the window ledge looks around curiously, bobbing its tail. A giant swallowtail butterfly, the largest in the U.S., serenely floats by and lands on a bush next to the trail where I am walking. A zebra longwing butterfly flutters in the air nearby. So many amazing creatures so close and clearly visible. None of them native to Massachusetts. These are once-in-a-lifetime moments, I say to myself; savor them.

There are such moments in New England too, of course—birds and butterflies I have missed seeing and look forward to seeing again soon. Yet, now, here, in this present moment, I am appreciating Florida’s tropical uniqueness. The exotic flowers that bloom throughout the year, the palm and cypress trees, the multiplicity of water birds, the spectacular cloud formations and dramatic weather patterns. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t see something I’ve never seen before. What a gift! I’ve known this all along, but today, looking ahead to the leaving, I really know it.

So this is the greater lesson of being here—and, really, of being a human on planet Earth: Don’t take anything for granted. Always look at the world as if for the first, or last, time. Appreciate every moment, every beautiful detail of life and living. You may never pass this way again. You may never see a robin in the spring or a maple tree in the autumn. An orchid or hibiscus in full bloom. You may never see someone you love again. Look in their eyes and see their soul each time you are together. Look in the eyes of your animal companion and see their absolute love and devotion. Your time here on Earth is sacred.

I remember this as I look out the window or take my daily walks these final weeks in Florida. This is my life, every extraordinary unrepeatable second, the sadness as well as the joy. To be human is to be given a cornucopia of daily wonders. If I hold this truth in my heart each day, then I live with love and gratitude, and no moment, no experience, passes that I don’t fully appreciate. This is the gift that Florida has given me: I have been reminded once more to let go of everything that is not essential and see the world, every bit of it, as the blessing it truly is.