Tag: positivity

Worry and Its Antidotes

Our minds often seem to be looking for something to worry about: “Who will be elected?” “Why is that person coughing?” “What’s that noise?” If we go online, we are continually bombarded with potential fears: a new COVID variant, rising costs, droughts, floods, shootings…. These stories feed right into the part of our brain that is a problem-solver. A useful attribute, but if the brain can’t find a solution to a problem, it gets diverted to the worry channel. The “What if” station, which seems to become particularly active at night when we are tired. Worries about yourself, your loved ones, and the whole world can take over your life if you let them. So don’t let them…..

What’s the antidote? you ask. Well, I find that there are many, and I have to remember to be open to them all. Remembering is key. In fact, that’s the number 1 step: Recognizing that you are caught in worrying. That puts a brake on and allows you to step sideways into another frame of mind (and heart). I say “heart” because often it’s the heart’s perspective that unlocks the closed door to the room where you are trapped with your worries running wild.

The heart is an optimist. It sees flowers when you might see poison ivy. It sees love when you are caught in fear or anger. How to connect to the heart? Take a walk outside in a park or anywhere else where you can see trees, hear birds, look up at the sky. Nature is a major heart connector. I take daily walks to keep myself centered in a positive frame of mind, to live from my heart and not from mental fears. If something difficult does arise, my heart’s spirit guides me through.

Friends and family can also be antidotes. Anyone close to you who is a good listener and can help you realize that your worries are not necessarily destined to materialize. In fact, most of the time they don’t. Mark Twain had a great saying, which I used to keep posted above my desk: “I have known a great many troubles in my life, most of which never happened.” Perfect description of how our minds make our worries seem real, when they aren’t. They are passing thoughts, which may or may not take form. Why waste time (and your life) focusing on them?

I’ve learned over the years (and keep learning) to find ways to divert my mind when it goes into worry overdrive. Music and poetry* help. Walking helps. Nature helps. Meditation** and yoga. A favorite sitcom rerun on TV. Eating healthy food I love (e.g., cherries, grapes, avocados). The kindness of those close to me who listen and reassure me with simple words like “Yes, I understand.” (My partner is very good at this.) There are countless ways to find positivity in your daily life and open your heart in the process. Because when your heart is open and really connected to life’s wonders and beauty, worries fade to the background and may disappear entirely.

And if they return tomorrow in different guises, you and I always have effective antidotes at hand. As the wise tell us, “Love is stronger than fear.” I’ve found that to be true, again and again.
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*This song always lifts my heart: “I Am Light” by India.Arie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2E3dBtTtBw. And Mary Oliver’s poem “I Worried” is the perfect antidote: https://www.mindfulnessassociation.net/words-of-wonder/i-worried-mary-oliver/.
**Every morning I listen to Panache Desai’s free online meditation Call to Calm: https://www.panachedesai.com/.

See the Good

Every morning we have a choice: to see the world as full of blessings or full of problems. The polarities of human perception. It is we who apply the labels, the filtering process. And in doing so, we set ourselves up for either contentment or suffering. Often it is a choice between living from the head or the heart. The mind’s function is to look for problems to solve, so it sees them everywhere. The heart’s purpose is to love, so it sees beauty everywhere. It is of course possible for these two to live in balance, but only if the overall perspective is positive. Then the heart can expand its love to include the mind. Within love, the mind relaxes and looks for peace instead of discord. The two work together to bring about human harmony.

But, you may ask, what about injustice and inequality in the world? How can we ignore those? Well, the idea is not to ignore them, but to open to a larger perspective of the times we are living in: to see everything as a process of evolving through extremes to a more compassionate consciousness as a species. This is an extraordinary era. Each of us is playing a role in the evolution of awareness and human relationships on a global scale. It is part of a planetary shift that has been foretold for thousands of years. If we live our lives with love and kindness rather than fear or mistrust, the transition will be experienced more smoothly within us. Inner harmony will be reflected in outer balance. The love and peace that live at our core will rise to the surface and radiate outward. Separation and “otherness” will fall away.

This inner awakening is happening individually and collectively now. It may not be obvious because the mainstream media only reports problems and fear-based drama, not “good news” about people working together for peaceful coexistence with one another and with Nature. Look for these positive stories; listen closely to the voices that speak of unity and oneness. This too exists on our planet, and we are part of it. When you see this evolution clearly, you become one with it. When you see the good, your heart expands, and that energy can be felt by all those around you. And most especially by you.

In living my life with an eye to the positive, my entire experience of daily life has shifted. Recently, I became aware of ways in which I sometimes make offhand negative comments or complaints. For instance, commenting on the paint color of a house as unpleasant or the behavior of someone as inconsiderate. Why choose those things to point out? Why not instead comment on what is beautiful in the house or on kindness in a stranger? It’s there; I just have to see it. Sometimes we think we are being honest in pointing out the “flaws” in things or people or life itself. But honesty is relative: you can be positively honest or negatively honest. Why not choose the former and break the habit of negativity? Your inner vibration reflects that positivity to everyone you encounter; your words, and your feelings and thoughts, have an impact. The world is experienced within first.

As I feel the truth of this dynamic more deeply, I live more from a place of seeing what is good in the world instead of what is lacking. Life becomes a daily blessing because that’s what I hold in my heart. I notice so many others holding that in their hearts now too. Thus is global transformation and unity revealed to us—and lived fully in our lives. With each positive vision shared and each hand extended in love, you and I help to evolve not only ourselves and our planet but the entire vibrational universe as well. See how good you are?!

Accentuate the Positive, My Mother’s Gift

Photograph © 2018 Peggy Kornegger
A song written and recorded in 1944 that was popular with my parents’ generation had the refrain: “Accentuate the positive; eliminate the negative.” Those who lived through the Great Depression and World War II often developed one of two responses to life: fear or hope, or perhaps a mix of both. You can see hope in songs like this one. And I definitely saw it in my mother when I was growing up in the 1950s and 1960s. Without fail, she always looked for the positive in any situation, person, or event. If someone behaved in an unpleasant manner, my mother’s response was inevitably, “She means well.” And then she would find something nice to say about the person.

She looked for the good in the world around her on a daily basis—the beauty of the sky, birdsong in the backyard, music and poetry, my dad’s sense of humor. She framed life this way. It wasn’t just a coping mechanism for the times; it arose from deep in her soul. I came to realize this fully later in her life when she was hospitalized and had to have a serious operation. I flew to my Illinois hometown from San Francisco, where I lived at the time. I sat by her side for three days and nights, our hands inseparably clasped in a lifetime of mother-daughter love. I watched her face, pale and drawn with pain, light up when she turned and looked at me: “You’re always there,” she whispered.

And I watched her eyes scan a basically ugly hospital room and finally light on the one thing she could honestly see beauty in: “Isn’t that a lovely walnut door?” That was the essence of my mother. That was who she was at the deepest level, beyond pain, beyond medication, beyond hospitals. From her soul, in every waking moment of her life, she looked around to find beauty—and she always found it. This was her legacy to me; I carry that positivity in my genes. I carry the memory of her waking me each morning with “Good morning, merry sunshine” and then at breakfast: “Another beautiful day!” From the beginning of my life, I was imprinted with that ability to love life fully under any circumstance.

My mother didn’t live a life free of all pain and difficulty; like all of us, she faced challenges. But she lived a life of appreciation and gratitude for the moments of love, beauty, and connection that are always present if we but open our eyes (and hearts) to see them. My mother lived with an open heart. She found happiness in loving the people and the world around her. At this time of great change and great challenge on the planet, I look to her wisdom to sustain me and uplift me through the rest of my life. I know I was born for a reason, and I know she was my mother for a reason. There is an ancestral line of positive energy that runs through our lives. She passed it on to me to sustain me—and as a reminder, so that I never forget that we all have positive energy within us.

We are each alive at this key transformational juncture in world history to remind each other of that. No matter what disturbing events in the external world show up each day, we still carry hope in our hearts and souls. We can listen to the voices that say “We shall overcome” and “All you need is love” instead of those that speak separation and hatred into the world. Whatever is occurring now is part of our evolution, as a species, as a planet, as a universe. We are not done yet. There is always, always possibility and positivity within us. We can breathe that into the world in all that we say and do. And that becomes our legacy of love…