Tag: presence

Life as Drama…and Serenity

There are times when life feels like those famous drama masks that denote comedy and tragedy in theatrical productions. One mask is smiling, the other crying. On any given day, I can experience both laughter and tears, joy and sorrow. Sometimes both simultaneously. Each year brings new ways that life unfolds in all its dramatic diversity. Yet, underneath it all runs a balancing stream of serenity.

When I was growing up in the Midwest, I remember wondering, a bit fearfully, about the meaning of life as I looked up at the vast star-filled night sky. I wanted to be 9 years old forever, safely reading books in the branches of my favorite climbing tree. But I also wanted to travel the world. My life unfolded in ways that included both those ways of being, as well as extended spiritual exploration.

I continued to be an avid reader (and later a writer and editor) as well as a lover of Nature. I traveled extensively, swimming with wild dolphins in Costa Rica, whales in Hawaii; hiking Machu Picchu in Peru, the Alps in Switzerland. Vision quests in Montana and spiritual ceremonies with Maya elders at sacred sites in Guatemala. Over time, I came to realize that every bit of it was part of my soul’s journey for this lifetime, finding equilibrium among inner and outer experiences.

Growing older has brought unexpected challenges (e.g., breast cancer survivor), but ultimately these have taught me patience, acceptance, and resilience, day by day. Sadness about the passing of family members and friends, as well as apprehension about my own eventual death, are also part of aging. Still, simultaneously, my life is filled with so much joy and love: good friends, old and new, and my dear partner, Anne, with whom I’ve shared 43 years (!) of wonderful life adventures. Each morning we open the door to sunlight over the treetops and birds singing (robins, cardinals, song sparrows, goldfinches). Who could not feel grateful for blessings such as these?

I’ve learned that whether you are crying or laughing, 9 or 90, there is always some beauty to be found in the world (in spite of political conflict or personal pain)—in Nature and in the loving kindness of friends and strangers alike. At any time, I can set aside the tearful mask and pick up the smiling one; let go of worry and embrace trust. Each moment holds all of life. Sometimes we need to cry and release sorrow. But we also need to laugh and find the sweetness of life. And make our way to the inclusive space of neutrality and peace that lives within.

The soul is timeless, not attached to the human framework of hours/minutes; it is beyond circumstance and action/reaction. In our souls we are pure Presence, and we know we are infinite. The temporary form we inhabit while on Earth has experiences while the eternal soul observes everything. Eventually, it all blends together as One. Any separation is an illusion that we realize as we transition, or if we are fortunate, at moments of awakened awareness while we are still in physical form.

With each second that passes, with each precious breath we take, we can open our heart of hearts to a soul vision that will guide our lives to the serenity within the drama. We are here in our human lives to do just that. It is what is meant by Peace on Earth.

On My Way Through…

“Maybe all we really are is spirit, the spark that draws people to us, the trail we leave behind.”
—Steve Thomas, Spirits Passing Through

In the past couple of years, several friends of mine have passed to the other side, the inevitable destination we call death. In grieving their loss and in contemplating my own future transition, I’ve felt myself coming into a different awareness of living and dying: less specific, more undefined and free-flowing, without parameters. We know so little of what life and death actually are. We think of them as a beginning and an end, but that’s a mental construct. What if there is only Presence, which never begins or ends; it just is? What if humanity itself is one Spirit, made up of sparks that together constitute life on Earth?

I remember my deceased friends as the spirit they embodied in their human forms: dancer/poet, musician/painter, sculptor, political activist. Yet now, they feel greater than those particular creative expressions, more inclusive of all consciousness, within and beyond their individual lifetimes. The longer I live, on my way through the human experience, the more I too feel greater than my physical form and its expressions. I am a writer, but what I write comes through me not from me. And the love I feel for my friends and for my life has no beginning or end. There is an infinite Presence that permeates everything and everyone and stretches to the farthest reaches of the cosmos, and beyond.

I guess what I’m trying to describe is soul, which is at the core of all human beingness and makes itself known through the heart. When I love my life partner, a close friend, a beautiful poem, or a bird singing at dawn, my soul’s presence moves through me into the world. It becomes one with all I see and hear. Soul defies description, yet it fills the world with light endlessly. Our souls came to Earth to be embodied light, to individuate oneness for a lifespan and then flow back into the One.

Perhaps the longer we live, the more we touch on moments of awareness that stretch beyond habitual parameters and open us completely to the universe. Actually, we are the universe, all of it. The universe lives as our souls throughout life, death, and eternity. We know this fully when we die, but that wisdom is within us now. And our life experiences bring it forth. As my life unfolds, the door to infinity opens wider and becomes more welcoming, less frightening. I can see myself and every one of us as infinite spirits of Presence, on our way through, together….
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Note: Thank you to my good friend Steve Thomas for the wonderful quote from his CD Spirits Passing Through.


There Is No “Other”

Humans have invented all kinds of concepts and labels to distance themselves from one another and convince themselves they are somehow special or better. We view the world through artificial lenses such as race, religion, species, gender, sexual preference, age, nationality, politics; we see “other” everywhere we look. And, historically, not others to be accepted and embraced, but others to be avoided or ostracized, often to the point of war and genocide. Underneath it all is fear: fear of survival, fear that we, and our belief systems, will die while others survive. Ultimately, it’s denial of the impermanence of life. 

Throughout the decades, people have built statues, monuments, roads, bridges, and starred sidewalks, all with human names, to create the illusion of permanence, immortality. We get lost in identification with our own physical form and attachment to all the transitory forms that surround us. The human mind wants to believe it can make a permanent impression on the world and somehow survive the life/death trajectory. Everything seen as “other” becomes a threat to that desperate survival need.  Yet, we are all going to die eventually. No exceptions. Neither fame, wealth, nor power will keep the door from closing. Mother Earth herself may not survive in her present form. The universe is eternally fluid, and at the soul level so are we.

Sooner or later, we all return to the same infinite energy source from which we emerged. This Source goes by many names: Spirit, Soul, God, Light, Infinite Consciousness. Within it, there is no “other.” There is nothing but seamless Presence, Oneness. And actually, that Oneness is what exists here on Earth as well, behind the veil of form. Perhaps we came here, in these particular lifetimes, to realize that and fully live it now, as all differences become obviously insubstantial and dissolve everywhere around us. We begin to see that we will leave this life without any part of our physical form, including opinions, beliefs, likes/dislikes. In that awareness, there is no separation or polarity. When the illusion of “other” falls away, compassion and love emerge, and the full light of Source energy shines through us all.

This is the journey for every one of us alive at this time. To stop looking at others as wrong or right, better or less, likable or unlikable, but instead just another human version of ourselves, trying to understand life and mortality. To be fully human is to accept it all and let it all go—into the infinite Presence that makes up all things. There is no “other”; there is only each and all of us, together as One.

Deep Dive or Distraction?

More and more these days, I find myself seeking empty space, deeper stillness within me and outside me. There are so many distractions in our lives now: news updates, emails, texts, apps, ads, online videos and articles, mental lists, busy streets, crowded stores. It can be a real challenge to find a place of silence and solitude where the mind and heart can be at rest. A sanctuary for the spirit.

Perhaps the key is to carry that sanctuary within. I don’t have to “seek” if it’s always inside me. And the more awareness I have of my own inner stillness, the more I experience it everywhere. Every sound can be a meditation bell calling me to quiet Presence. Every breath a softening into silence.

So my spiritual “practice” now involves asking the inner questions: “Does this take me deeper?” “Does it touch my heart and soul?” If not, it’s probably a distraction that it’s best to acknowledge and then let go of. Perhaps a hundred times a day. But with every letting go, I release with greater ease and go deeper. Deeper into nothing…

What is there to say about nothingness, within which eternity lies? We were there before we were born, and we’ll be there again after death. Actually we are there now too, but we are not fully aware of it. On a spiritual path, we gradually open our consciousness to the fullness of nothing, the depth and sacredness of it. As we grow older, we may realize there really is no separation, and in doing so feel a desire to consciously experience it completely within our lifetime: Emptiness and fullness as One. Oneness as all.

The poet William Blake expressed this seeming dichotomy perfectly: “To see the world in a grain of sand/And a heaven in a wild flower/To hold infinity in the palm of your hand/And eternity in an hour.” Maybe the poets and sages are the wayshowers here. In addition to the small children and wise elders who see oneness without a word spoken.

 All this is within each of us, in this present moment. Empty your hands and your mind, and stand alone with nothing but silent spirit surrounding you and within you. On the other side of distraction is the deepest experience possible of All That Is. This is heaven on Earth; this is everything, everywhere; before, during, and after life. Nothing in all its fullness.

Love Carries Us

On any given day, we can bump up against things that make us feel sad or even despairing: a friend’s death, a job or home loss, health challenges, the erosion of human rights and the rise of power-mad public figures. We can succumb to ongoing pessimism and depression, or we can look within our own hearts and souls for sustenance and hope. Emily Dickinson called hope “the thing with feathers” that never stops singing. And within that song is love, the love that sustains us in troubled times, the love that carries us when we feel we can’t walk another step.

Where does this love come from? you may ask. If you look only at what you perceive as wrong or upsetting in the world or in your life, you won’t see it. If instead you look within, where your own heart is the ultimate receiver and transmitter of love, all is revealed. Your heart holds the imprint of all those in your life who have loved you, past and present, as well as all those whom you have loved and love now. Your heart also holds your connections to moments in your life that have touched you deeply: shared time with family, friends, or animal companions; peaceful solitude in Nature; transformative experiences while traveling….

Love is threaded through every single moment of your life, whether you are consciously aware of it or not. Even in times of pain or suffering, a greater comforting Presence may silently make itself known to you. A close friend or casual acquaintance may offer sympathy or kindness exactly when you need it most. You yourself may be the one providing solace and peace of mind. 

All this is the love that carries us. In spite of frightening global events and personal challenges, we humans survive and continue our life course, steadied by all those walking beside us, whether in person or across time and space. In laughter or tears, the relationships we share in our lives keep us going. You may not have seen an old friend for years but they are there. You may not know your neighbor well, but they are there. At the most unexpected times, someone may reach out a hand to help you, which may help them simultaneously.

The common thread of humanity ties us together. If you take time to look around you with open eyes and an open heart, you will see it. And it will give you hope, that feathered bird that is always singing in the background. We came to this beautiful blue planet, Mother Earth, as human souls to live our individual lives and in doing so, finally recognize that in truth we are all family. And that is the love that carries us, always.