I have ridden a roller coaster of emotion in the last two months as I experienced the physical reality of an eye condition and the spiritual reality of its deeper alchemical meaning in my life. Panache Desai calls these dramatic moments “thresholds,” which bring us the opportunity to move more deeply into alignment with who we are at the soul level. Everything old that no longer fits with our authentic soul identity begins to dissolve or fall away. And that falling away can be so powerful that it sweeps you clean.
In essence, as I lived through these months, I have been losing the last residues of a past self. The protective self, who relied on hesitation, holding back, and escape routes to keep from being swallowed whole by the world. The self who wanted to be on perpetual retreat, far away from the madness, noise, and violence of a planet split by polarity and separation. Even though one part of me embraced life whole-heartedly, another part of me was frightened of seeing too much, feeling too much, and being overwhelmed by grief. This self arises from the planetary collective consciousness dominated by human suffering. We all have that self, and we all struggle to live with it somehow. I found that it was possible to let go into something beyond that.
As I faced fear, pain, and sadness and released a lifetime of holding back tears (in spite of being an active crier), I at last began to feel empty. My grief, both personal and empathically picked up from others, had moved through me. The self I had created to survive in the world had dissolved. It was as if nothing was left inside me but pure life energy. I was emptied of everything except soul, except spirit. What I was born as. What we are all born as. The abundance, love, and joy that is at the heart of all creation. This is what I felt coursing through my being. This is what I felt connected to all around me. It was everywhere and always had been.
My life has brought me to this point—my entire life, just as it was/is. Yes, the sadness and pain, but also the love and deep human connection; the diverse and wondrous experiences. Yet now it is time to shed the skin of the past and live fully in the new present that is evolving on this planet. I am setting aside whatever I have lived before with gratitude, and I am stepping into the lightness of being both one and One. In our unique individual one-ness, we are also connected to a greater Oneness that encompasses us all. I am we. I am universal consciousness expressing as Peggy. We are universal consciousness expressing as planet Earth. And it is all One. Universal consciousness expressing as universal consciousness everywhere simultaneously.
Moving forward, I am more and more aware of this greater consciousness of which I am a part. At the same time, I am very profoundly here. I am grounded in my life, but I am more than my life, as are we all. On this radically shifting planet of ours, we are each stepping over the threshold of our individual lives, our past realities, and embracing something so much bigger than we ever dreamed possible. In truth—divine universal truth—you are greater than the smallness you have always been told you are. You didn’t come to Earth to be oppressed or hated or made to suffer. We all came here to be magnificent and to celebrate one another’s magnificence. We were “born that way”—magnificent—and we are claiming our birthright. Now. It is time to live our souls full out…and never look back.
4 thoughts on “Beyond the Threshold”
My dear Peggy, as always this is beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I too believe we are are magnificent the day we are born..Life teaches us something else that we are less than that. Loving all, loving ourselves is waking the world up to who we all are..Honoring each other in that love, has to start with honoring yourself..So grateful for all experiences that have brought me to here. Knowing there is not a place to get to and there is always more to learn about and experience love…that is the joy of life. I am groaning less when the hard stuff shows up for myself or my children. Hope all is and continues to be well for you…keep sharing..
Thank you, Patti, for all that you shared here. I’m right with you! Much love. ❤
Whew! Time to live our souls full out without looking back! Do you remember how hard it was to learn to dive? That’s what this makes me think of….putting my body in position, stretching arms high, bending my knees, but being so reluctant to actually leave the safety of the pool’s edge and allow my head to enter the water first. A zillion tries that just didn’t take me anywhere because I chickened out and stayed feet first, plunking right down and in place. But the incredible moment when I flung myself off and went in in full stretch, gliding in and out and out and out…that is where you are and I hope I can join you in that amazing new perspective and experience!
It seems to me like you are already there, Dorothy! I love the image of diving–we just have to surrender and trust. And we are all in this together–our hands and hearts are linked in the invisible realm of spirit. That’s why we can do this–we are not alone. You being you helps me be me, and so on… Much love to you. ❤