The Age of Authenticity—Coming Out as You

Photograph © 2012 Peggy Kornegger
Photograph © 2012 Peggy Kornegger

We are living in an age of authenticity, one in which we are being called by the spirit within us to be true to our soul selves and to live from a place of love. When my partner Anne and I married a year ago after 31 years together, we were very conscious of stepping into an expansive collective energy of love and acceptance that was unparalleled in our lifetime. Within the time span of our relationship, the world had shifted profoundly in its openness to many different kinds of people, partnerships, and life commitments. The recent U.S. Supreme Court decision for marriage equality throughout the 50 states further demonstrates the power and momentum of these changes. To me, the increasing acceptance of marriage equality is symbolic of a larger acceptance of diversity and individual authenticity in the world.

Even the mainstream media is beginning to reflect this shift in consciousness. In an Ellen interview a few months ago, Jill Soloway, creator of the TV series Transparent, talked about her father, who became a transgender woman at 74, as the inspiration for her show. She explained how trans people are moved to make a break for freedom, for authenticity, to save their own lives. Individuals like Jill’s father have been standing up for their own inner truth within the trans identity for many years now, opening closed doors and closed minds for those who followed.

At this year’s Tony awards, broadcast on national TV, lesbian cartoonist Alison Bechdel’s poignant life story Fun Home won five awards, including best musical. It made history as the first Broadway musical to feature a lesbian protagonist. Alison has humorously chronicled the feminist movement and lesbian life for more than 30 years in “alternative” publications. Her 2006 memoir, which is the basis for the show, brought her national recognition—fascinating to those of us who have read and loved her comic strips for many years. There she was—authentic down-to-earth Alison—on stage at the Tonys, praised as brilliant for sharing her very real life story.

These individuals are living their soul selves. Alison has done it for most of her life; Jill’s father aligned with it later in life. Each of their lives is a sign of something much greater coming into being. Something that will touch all of our lives eventually, in one way or another. We see it played out publicly in the media, but those better-known examples are singular reflections of countless private lives around the globe. The Great Shift we are experiencing now on planet Earth is moving us all to consciously choose change, evolution, and soul truth over prevailing social expectations and outdated behavioral models.

The term “coming out” has historically been associated with the LGBT community and those who have had the courage to live the truth of their lives, even in the face of danger, derision, and ostracism. Now the term appears to be expanding to include all those who are coming to a deeper soul-self awareness and bringing that unique expression out into the world. The rainbow symbol is truly all-inclusive. The LGBT community has been standing strong in our diverse expressions, challenging the sexual-identity status quo, for decades. In so many ways, we have been breaking new ground and speaking out for all those who don’t fit into prescribed social norms, those called “different” for whatever reason.

As new waves of acceptance of diversity of all kinds continue to sweep across the globe, language itself will change. “Difference” will no longer be shunned because we all are different. We won’t have to “come out” because no one will have to be hidden. In the age of authenticity, you, in your most awesome authentic soul expression, will be the protagonist of your own life, loved for your brilliance by all who know you. Applause, applause—for each and every one of us!

 

Mind-Less, Time-Less

Photograph © 2013 Peggy Kornegger
Photograph © 2013 Peggy Kornegger

This past month I’ve been practicing what I call “mindlessness.” No, I don’t mean air-headed bumbling through life. Or vacuously staring into space with no connection to the world around you. It’s more like living moment to moment from the non-thinking center of your being. Your heart, your soul. Pure awareness without the overlay of language. The practice has involved breathing deeply and dropping down into my body’s core whenever I notice myself caught in thinking overdrive, my mind running from one thought to another like a mad marathoner. Taking a deep breath and becoming aware interrupts the mind’s busyness. I breathe, feel my physical body, and come into present-moment awareness of my immediate environment. Wherever I am, I look or listen without thinking about it. I consciously step into the now, perceiving without filtering. The mental concept of time ceases to exist.

Of course, this is not as simple as it sounds, or as long-lasting. The key is to practice doing it, again and again. Practicing lays down new behavioral cues, new perceptual impulses, which help me to be present with more ease and grace the more I do it. In truth, a silent center of pure thoughtless soul awareness lives within us all. That is what I’m connecting to with each conscious breath. It is a space that I frequently relax into while sitting in meditation or when I am outdoors walking in nature. The challenge is to “be here now”—not lost in thought—continuously, under all circumstances. That is the practice.

As the weeks pass, I am finding that both gardening and bird-watching center me effortlessly in “mindless” presence, again and again. The beauty of the natural world immediately opens my heart and awakens me to the present moment. When I look at a brilliantly colored bird or flower, I am not thinking; I am just being. My heart is directly connected to my soul, and together they quietly override the mind’s dominance, bringing me into complete immersion in Now. And that presence gradually spills over to other moments in my daily life….

Watching a middle-aged man gently holding his elderly father’s hand as they cross the street in front of me, I am present. Riding the bus as the sun rises and shines dazzling light on the distant city skyline and the nearby spring-green trees, I am present. Listening to a wood thrush’s ethereal flutelike call in the evening stillness, I am present. The smell of banana bread in my neighbor’s kitchen, the sound of a dog barking on the next street, the full moon casting shadows through the tree branches, the feel of soft flannel sheets on my body as I slide into bed—all of these are opportunities to experience life directly, separate from the mind’s interpretation. Each one of us has moments like these in our lives in which we can break through to full awareness and presence. The key is to take a deep breath and notice what is directly in front of us.

More and more frequently, I am realizing when my thoughts have taken me away, and I consciously breathe and bring myself back to the world around me, to the timeless present moment. Slowly but surely, my mind is letting go of the reins of control. I am relearning to see and hear without mental gymnastics, as a small child does. Breathing, I am connected to both my heart and my soul. Breathing, I am present for each second of my life. Breathing, I am fully alive, experiencing everything firsthand, seeing miracles everywhere. Breathing, I AM….

 

Let Life Live You

Photograph © 2015 Peggy Kornegger
Photograph © 2015 Peggy Kornegger
There’s a refrigerator magnet I’ve seen for sale in some stores that reads: “You make plans. God laughs.” I love that reminder to let go and allow life to unfold instead of constantly struggling to control it. It’s a reminder I need quite often, as most of us do, I would guess. Our educational institutions teach us very early that working hard and trying are rewardable attributes. “Going with the flow” or using intuitive insight to guide daily activities is just not acceptable behavior within a system geared to the future productivity of adults-in-the-making. In first grade, we even have “Think and Do” workbooks to teach us how to achieve control over our classroom studies. So, by the time we reach adulthood, we are thoroughly conditioned to think a lot and do a lot. We make “To Do” lists every day and try hard to keep life handleable. Never really works, does it?

Life has a way of being messy and out of our control. Plans are continually disrupted by the unexpected in one form or another. What if we could rewind our lives back to first grade and choose a different handbook for life, one called “Pause and Reflect” or “Breathe and Be”? Not completely impossible, if we think of time, and our selves, as infinitely flexible. We can choose to respond differently now and break the old conditioning with conscious awareness. What if you allow life to live you, rather than trying to make life play by your rules?

Lately, I have noticed that I am “allowing” with greater frequency. I watch my life take shape each day as both an observer and a participant. This means that my “soul as witness” is very much a part of my consciousness. From that perspective, I see how “I” fit into what is unfolding. If I look at everything as a divinely orchestrated stream of events, then my own place in it just seems to emerge organically. I don’t have to plan every detail ahead of time; I just respond with awareness to what is before me. I allow life to be a mystery that is opening up all around me. I don’t have to solve it; I just have to experience it. And in truth, that’s all I can ever do. Control is an illusion. We want to believe we have some control because we are frightened of the unknown.

But nothing is known for certain in our universe. Native Americans call it “the Great Mystery” for good reason. Yesterday’s “truths” are pushed aside by today’s “truths,” and tomorrow will debunk them all. What if we could live peacefully with that constant flux, letting every day be a mystery to step into with anticipation and excitement, as though we had front-row seats to a wonderfully innovative new play or film? What if we looked at our lives from that perspective, as both actors and audience? And God as improv coach.

It’s called surrender, a spiritual concept hard to swallow for most people. Yet, if we are to find peace, within ourselves and with one another, perhaps it is something we should consider. It’s not an instant solution to the challenges we all face; it takes practice, surrendering over and over. Still, the more I let go, the more I experience a profound freedom and calm. When you let life live you each day, you can gratefully set aside the endless list of tasks and just be present for it all.

Interview on Vivid Life Radio

On May 19, Laurel Geise interviewed me on her Soul-Guided Living radio show (VividLife.me radio). Laurel and I had a wonderful conversation–we talked about my new book and about living from the heart. Click on the following link, and there is a description of the show, How to Lose Your Mind & Open Your Heart with Peggy Kornegger and Dr. Laurel Geisehttp://ow.ly/N5S0r. The broadcast is now available for replay at that link, and you can also listen to the interview here: http://player.cinchcast.com/?platformId=1&assetType=single&assetId=7624311.

Whose Hands Are These?

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What is sound before hearing, world before language, being before the idea of it? A baby, who has yet to develop a conceptual framework or ego, sees the world solely as spirit without words or ideas. That conscious spirit, that pure awareness, exists within us all beneath the layers of egoic stories and beliefs that we have gathered over a lifetime. The soul, or spirit, is our inner home: the Great Mystery silently witnessing life through our eyes.

A few months ago, I was on my way to a silent retreat in Florida and was reading one of Adyashanti’s books, Emptiness Dancing, on the plane. As I sat absorbing what I read in an almost-meditative state, I grew sleepy and gradually dozed off. After a short time, I opened my eyes and looked down at my hands resting on the book in my lap. “Whose hands are these?” passed through my not-fully-awake consciousness. This question was not “mine”; it came from that place before “I.” For a second, there was only the mystery, prior to my idea of me. Then “I” returned and recognized “my” hands. It was a moment of deep connection with that conscious spirit within, a step beyond anything I had experienced previously.

Occasionally, when I am in deep meditation for a prolonged period of time, I slip silently into a space without boundaries, infinity opening infinitely. I perceive my physical body as a temporary container for this eternal beingness without form. It is an exceptionally peaceful state that I always long to return to, but it is not reached by an act of will, of course—only by completely relaxing and letting go. That kind of letting go is an ongoing evolutionary process for human beings now, and we all need almost daily reminders to release the reins of control. Meditation definitely helps, and certain books do as well. Although on the surface meant for the mind, books like Emptiness Dancing slide between the cracks and reach our soul without our realizing it at first. My own experience on the plane awakened the “I” of me to that place of conscious spirit before and beyond form, if only momentarily. A new and more profound level than I had reached through meditation alone.

We are all heading in this direction, I believe. The Divine is always patiently waiting for opportunities to show us our divinity, our presence within infinite consciousness beyond the parameters of body and mind. During these extraordinary times of increasing awareness and awakening on our planet, the moments of passing effortlessly between form and formlessness may become more and more prevalent. After all, it is not alien to us. We were formless before birth, and we will be formless again after death. Perhaps this time on Earth is tutoring us in eternal fluidity and flow, which is the heart of divine consciousness in the cosmos. We are gradually learning not to be afraid of that mysterious unknown realm but instead to embrace the magnificent wonder of it.