Walking, Everywhere

I’ve been a walker all my life, in a world of cars. I learned to drive at 16 but have rarely driven because I’ve lived mostly in or near cities, where public transportation, biking, and walking were my norm. Even though I grew up in the Illinois countryside, as an adult I gravitated to urban life. There were so many possibilities there, including the freedom that comes from being able to walk everywhere: to work, to stores, to concerts and films, to parks, to nature sanctuaries. To meet friends for tea or dinner or to walk silently in solitude. All of it a gift.

I’ve walked so many places on this Earth. I spent five months hiking and taking trains through Europe after college. (Switzerland, by the way, is a perfect place for walkers—walking/hiking trails everywhere and some villages car-free.) In later years, I hiked Peru’s Machu Picchu and Hawaii’s Napali Coast, as well as throughout the Southwest and Northeast. I walked miles through the streets of cities I called home (San Francisco, Boston). Nothing could keep me from my daily walks. I even walked to/from treatments for breast cancer in the middle of winter in Cambridge, Massachusetts!

Walking is like opening a door for me. On the other side is everything. The sense of awe at the beauty of Nature and the inner spiritual connection when I walk in parks or sanctuaries. The deep feeling of freedom as I explore new areas in the towns and cities where I’m living. The challenge, however, is navigating this freedom in car-centric environments, which includes most places in the U.S.

When Anne and I lived in Florida, we loved the tropical flowers and water birds, but walking, except for short distances, was difficult. It is a world of cars and condos and shopping plazas. Walking is not a priority in most non-urban areas in the U.S. People rely entirely on cars, and sidewalks are infrequent or nonexistent. The town where we live now, south of Boston, presents exactly this challenge. I dash from one side of a busy road to the other in order to access occasional sidewalks—and then turn off into smaller streets of houses to continue walking. The upside though is a winding woodsy lane that leads to our condo community, all of which is pleasantly walkable. I can also take the train to Mt. Auburn Cemetery in Cambridge for car-free walking in Nature.

I walk for many reasons and experiences: exercise, errands, exploration, encounters with people, birds, wildlife. Ever-changing seasons and skies. Mental stimulation and spiritual connection. Walking is a wonderfully expansive way of being in the world. I have been inspired by other walkers whose lives I know of: poet Mary Oliver, who walked each morning in profound appreciation of the natural world on Cape Cod; Henry David Thoreau, who walked through the woods and fields of Concord, Massachusetts, where Walden Pond is located; Neil King Jr., who recently walked from Washington, D.C. to New York City after recovering from two bouts with cancer; and Peace Pilgrim, who spent 28 years of her life walking across the U.S. speaking with others about peace.

I will continue to walk everywhere possible. One of my greatest wishes is for the creation of car-free living zones across the U.S. with easily accessible public transportation, safe bike lanes, and walking paths designed for use by everyone of all ages and abilities, including those with walkers or wheelchairs. In the meantime, I remind myself every day to appreciate the blessing that walking is in my life, wonders visible with every step I take.

The Changing, Yet Familiar, Landscape

I was born in Illinois and grew up in a rural area where farms, cornfields, and scattered houses dotted the landscape. My parents built their home on five acres in the countryside, not far from a small town where I subsequently went to school. My daily life was spent mainly outdoors, playing among the trees, fields, orchards, and gardens my dad planted. It was a small paradise, which I still hold in my heart and have gravitated toward in other places and other landscapes over the years.

As an adult, I’ve lived in or near urban areas (mainly Boston and San Francisco). I’ve loved the convenience and ease of living where I could walk everywhere or take public transportation. Neighborhoods with small gardened spaces and trees around the buildings or houses. Corner stores. But it has been the parks and nature sanctuaries where I have spent much of my time. That was the balance for me, a place to live where I could walk as well as visit natural settings. Easy access to buses, trains, and an airport where I could travel to other places in the world. The towns and yards changed over the years, west and east coasts, but each one seemed to fit my life at the time. Even a few years in Florida recently provided an entirely different experience of Nature.

After moving back to the Boston area three years ago, Anne and I began to look for an affordable place to live, in the midst of rising rents. That meant living further away from the city. We eventually found a place we love, but it has meant an adjustment in how we live our daily lives. There are no neighborhoods or corner stores like those we were used to. Instead, an almost rural landscape stretches around the small group of condos where we live: woods, fields, small houses, roads, and occasional shopping plazas. There is a town about a 50-minute walk away with a train to Boston and Cambridge (which I greatly appreciate!). We are grateful for so much here (birds in the trees outside our windows, open skies clearly visible, quiet), but the walkability factor has required us to let go of previous parameters and expectations.

In doing so, suddenly, one morning I was reminded of my own childhood home. We lived in the country, a rural area not that different (except for the cornfields!) from where we live now. School buses took me in town to school. My parents drove to local markets, etc. Trees surrounded our house. Have I come full circle, returning to a distantly familiar landscape, one I have to accustom myself to but that from that perspective becomes newly interesting?

Life is full of surprises and replays and new beginnings that remind us of past experiences. Everything is both old and brand new in our lives. There is nothing on Earth that has not been lived before in some form or another, and yet at the same time every experience feels like a new discovery. We have lived many lives, within this one and among those in the expansive past of the planet. Often that sense of deja vu touches our hearts deeply and opens us to possibility and a fresh outlook on daily life.

That is where I am now. I am living changes, centered in a new present. Simultaneously, I am being reminded of the rich and diverse past I have already lived. In the distance, a train whistle evokes both past and present-moment awareness. Landscapes shift throughout our lifetimes, and within that motion is the purpose of every life: soul expansion and recognition of our commonality in all experiences and all lifetimes. In that, we realize that every moment, every landscape, is a gift of grace.

Solstice and Light

Today, December 21, is the Winter Solstice here in the northern hemisphere, the shortest day (and longest night) of the year. Tomorrow the light begins to increase infinitesimally until it reaches the Summer Solstice fullness in June. The Winter Solstice has been called the “Return of the Light.” An illusion, of course, because the sun never leaves. It is our experience of its light that shifts over the course of a year. And what a miracle it is that our particular planet, Earth, is perfectly placed in our solar system so that life is possible as it rotates and revolves around the sun with mathematical precision each day.

People since the beginning of time have acknowledged and celebrated how light moves through our lives, yearly and daily. Ancient structures like those at Stonehenge in England and Chaco Canyon in New Mexico have been built to exactly show astronomical alignments. I remember when I first saw a film in high school about how the sun appears through a small aperture in the huge standing rocks of Stonehenge exactly at dawn on the solstice. Such amazing alignment and synchronicity! How can you not believe in greater meaning in the universe when you witness such a phenomenon?

Over the years I have always been drawn to magical moments at sunrise or sunset, wherever I lived or traveled. In college in San Diego, two friends and I often drove across town to the beach to see the sun setting into the Pacific Ocean. In Hawaii, I watched sunset through wispy clouds at the top of Haleakala Crater on Maui. Hiking at Bryce Canyon in Utah, Anne and I saw the rock spires magically illuminate like candles as the rising sun touched them. In Guatemala with Maya elders, a group of us rose before dawn to witness sunrise from the top of a Tikal temple, the jungle birds and animals awakening below us. On the other side of the world, the animals in South Africa came to the Olifants River at sunset to drink and eat as we humans watched the sun burn brilliantly red in the evening sky.

All living beings seem to respond to the sun’s light. Our cat Lily used to sit on the back of the sofa in the late afternoon, eyes closed, as the setting sun shone on her face and fur. I have sometimes seen groups of birds sitting in trees watching the rising or setting of the sun. Just yesterday evening, I noticed a dozen or so finches perched at the very top of a tree, facing west, their breasts shining with light, like tiny angels silhouetted against the sky. A perfect solstice alignment—did they know instinctually?

The mystery and power of Light and its relationship to Earth have been part of our collective consciousness for thousands of years. We carry memories of dawn and dusk ceremonies in our genes. Whether instinct or historical memory, we Earth creatures have known that light is at the center of our lives, and we are moved to celebrate it, whether individually on a beach or gathered together at a temple for ceremony. Somehow, deep within us, we realize that we ourselves are made of light. We shine in this world, a reflection of the suns and stars in the greater cosmos we are part of.

Remember

I have just finished rereading the ending of Ann Patchett’s new novel Tom Lake. I am crying—at the poignancy, at the beauty, at the soul wisdom. Last night I watched a 1988 PBS production of the play Our Town, which figures so prominently in Tom Lake, though always in the background (Tom Lake is a summer theater). I wept at that too. There are such deep life lessons in both of them, ones that few remember in their lifetimes. The characters Lara and Emily open to these lessons over the course of events in the novel and play. As does George in the film It’s a Wonderful Life. As are so many of us now at this time on Earth. We are awakening to how extraordinary human life really is.

Don’t miss a second of your life on this remarkable planet. The sadness and suffering as well as the joy and celebration. It’s all such a tremendous unrepeatable experience, like no other in the universe. Each morning, when you wake up, remember. The poet Rumi said it: “The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don’t go back to sleep,” This is the greatest wisdom of each of our lifetimes, throughout time, and especially now. Don’t go back to sleep. See the living spark of divine light in your partner’s or child’s eyes. Love your friends and family with all your heart. Appreciate them. Love yourself. You are a miracle.

Look around at the beauty of Mother Earth, the birds and trees and flowers. Everywhere there is beauty, even in the smallest detail of the most insignificant blade of grass. Even in a cemetery. A cemetery is a central figure in both Tom Lake and Our Town (and It’s a Wonderful Life). It stands as a coming together point of all life and eventually all the wisdom that arises from living. Spirit lives there. Spirit, which continues throughout time and space.

There is a cemetery that is a central figure in my life as well: Mt. Auburn. It is also a nature sanctuary, and for more than 40 years, I have walked there in the sweet silence and sounds of the natural world. I greet the birds each spring as they migrate and sing their lilting songs. Anne and I were married at Mt. Auburn, under the trees by Auburn Lake, the most beautiful day of our lives. I heard about the death of a friend there, tears streaming down my face as a bright red cardinal appeared on the path before me. I felt my mother’s spirit there after her passing, a cardinal singing nearby then too. And I have sensed my dad’s energy in the trees and the crows calling overhead. One cold November night many years ago, Anne and I watched meteor showers streaking across the cosmos in the deep darkness of Mt. Auburn at 3 a.m. Some of my most powerful moments of connection to something greater in the universe (Spirit, the Great Mystery, God) occurred there. All of life and death coming together as One in my awareness.

In Tom Lake, a cemetery on a rural wooded hillside brings everyone together in love and continuity. I feel that at Mt. Auburn. That is why I return, year after year. It helps me remember. We are all finding our own ways to remember now, we latter-day poets and saints of the 21st century. We came to Earth at this time to become fully awake and aware, to connect with one another, and to see the miracles in everything. In life/death, in pure being. Don’t go back to sleep. Remember. It is the gift of a lifetime, of all lifetimes.

Lost and Found

This morning I am looking out my window at green and gold woods, blue skies, and white clouds. Blue jays fly from oak tree to oak tree, gathering acorns for the winter; a red-tailed hawk circles overhead. The sound of crickets fills the air, day and night. I live now on the opposite side of Boston from where I lived two months ago. A move from northwest to southeast of the city, one we had pondered for a while, not sure exactly where but knowing it was time, because of rising rents.

So now the trees and sky I viewed in the summer are completely different, leaves changing color in the autumn, sun setting sooner. Our lives change in just these ways. One day we call one place home; the next it is a memory, and we live elsewhere. A memory, though, that tugs at my heart in this moment, separated from an area that was familiar for so many years (40+). Within that frame, I sometimes feel “lost.”

We don’t detach so easily from a place felt at our core as home. We carry the ache within us, even as we step decidedly on a new path. I greatly loved the town I lived in, my favorite “home” from all the years of living coast to coast in various cities and towns. I was one with Nature there in a way I hadn’t been since my childhood in the Illinois countryside. I gardened daily (hands in the earth, flowers all around) and walked in beautiful sanctuaries like Mt. Auburn Cemetery, where the seasons, animals, and birds dance through the year with a vividness and light beyond description.

So what do you do if you feel lost? Do you try to be found, or try to find—yourself? Words and language can sometimes trick us into believing there is something missing in our lives. Perhaps it’s not about losing and finding but just about being. Fully present, fully alive. If I think I am lost, I look for what is missing, when actually everything is always present all the time! Home is in my heart if I recognize it there.

So here I am, gazing out at a forested landscape. The sky and clouds are stunning. My heart may not feel completely one with what my eyes see—yet. It takes time to find and feel connection, with people and with places. So I wait patiently, with a mix of feelings, knowing that all it takes is a single moment of shining brilliance to fall in love with what you are seeing and experiencing.

These are the moments we live for. And they always come at the most unexpected times. You can’t orchestrate them or wish them into being. You can only repeatedly remind yourself to remain open and that no matter what you are doing or not doing, or where you are, your soul is at home and experiences the miracle of living spirit everywhere. Even now, the blue jays are calling, their silhouettes bright among the trees….