Tag: gratitude

Gifts from God

Photograph © 2017 Peggy Kornegger
The people in our lives are gifts from God, not there by happenstance but by design. And not to be taken for granted or overlooked but instead continuously recognized and treasured. In my day-to-day life, my spiritual path repeatedly draws me inward to a profound divine connection. Within that experience, I feel as one with everything in the cosmos. I love those experiences. They teach me again and again why I am here on this planet. Yet, what I forget sometimes is that I am also here to connect with my fellow human beings, to be a part of their lives and have them be a part of mine. Meditation and inner journeys are extraordinary, but this Earth experience when shared at the deepest level with others is equally extraordinary. Without it, your heart can never crack open wide enough to let the divine in—or out.

A few Saturdays ago, I spent the day with two friends, a married couple whom I’ve known for over thirty years. In the morning, my partner Anne and I helped her mulch their garden with several other neighbors and friends, and in the afternoon we visited her husband at a rehab center in Boston, where he was recovering from chemo treatments for cancer. We hadn’t seen him for several months, and our visit was a surprise. The expression of welcoming joy on his face when we walked in was enough to bring tears to all of our eyes. After we hugged and then chatted a bit, we went to nearby Waterfront Park for an impromptu picnic. As we watched the boats and people come and go and basked in the spring sunshine, we told stories and shared experiences, past and present, that brought us all even closer together. Moments of laughter and tears that mean so much when old friends reunite, especially in the midst of life challenges like they have been facing.

And it was precisely that old friendship and those challenges that allowed us to drop everything nonessential from our conversations (and for them, from their lives). At times like these, we remember what is really important: to look in another human being’s eyes and say “I love you.” And we did. Nothing else matters. Nothing. So many times, we get caught up in our own lives and forget that essential truth, that key to all human relationships and to all of life: Love. Openly expressed and shared. We are here for such a relatively short time on this planet. Why waste a single moment in distraction or separation of any kind? We all feel joy, we all feel pain, our hearts encompass every possible human emotion. We are alike, we human souls in physical form—let’s not lose sight of our essential oneness.

When Anne and I came home, we felt we had been blessed with such a sacred experience in that unplanned day with our friends. The laundry undone, the emails unanswered—what did it matter? To-do lists are meant to be tossed aside in favor of spontaneous life moments that God presents us with every day. The people in your life are gifts from God. Their lives are precious, as is yours—don’t chose routine, or even meditation, when a human/divine soul stands before you ready to share their heart with you. That is why you were born, why I was born. Let us remember together the love that links our lives.

Second Sight

Photograph © 2015 Peggy Kornegger
Photograph © 2015 Peggy Kornegger
Intuition and extrasensory perception are sometimes called “second sight.” This refers to knowledge or awareness that comes to individuals from beyond the realm of the mind and the five senses. The translation of the original French clairvoyant captures the essence of second sight: “clear-seeing.” Intuition is a gift we are all born with, and today we are beginning to reclaim that natural ability to see the universe, and all its many layers and dimensions, more clearly. The world is opening up all around us in unusual and extraordinary ways, and synchronicity is showing us the hidden connections that link every single bit of it.

Over the past few months, during which I came to terms with the possibility of future impaired vision, everything associated with my eyesight became extremely precious to me. My acute sensitivity to this particular sense led me on a journey that opened my heart and expanded my awareness in ways I could not have possibly imagined beforehand. And the more I let go and trusted the entire process (including the uncertainty), the greater my own experience of clarity and flow in each moment. I began to see not only with my physical eyes, but with my soul as well.

Two days stand out during this time period. One morning, I was searching online for a particular group whose work I admired, intending to make a donation. In the midst of this process, I remembered another group that I used to give to in the past and went to their website instead: the Seva Foundation. Once there, I realized why I had been “guided” to Seva: their focus is on restoring eyesight and preventing blindness globally. Stunned, I sat and looked at the images of the people in the various countries around the world that Seva serves. With tears in my eyes, I recognized these individuals as “just like me” in what they were facing. As I clicked the Donate button, I felt more than money pass between me and those receiving it. There was a connection at the soul level—oneness. And thankfulness for that profound feeling of oneness.

The next day, I was sitting at my desk writing in my journal and listening to several of my favorite Andrea Bocelli CDs. The fact that I had been led to listen to a blind singer who lives a divinely soul-guided life did not enter my consciousness until after what transpired next. As I immersed myself in the music, I began to cry at the exquisite angelic beauty of his voice. I walked slowly to the window, where I stood almost prayerfully looking out at the spring day. Suddenly my perception shifted dramatically. Everything within my field of vision was moving in perfect synchronicity with the music, and I felt intensely how every single thing was invisibly connected to everything else: the trees swaying in the wind, a man walking by the house, the car pulling out of the neighbor’s driveway. And me standing at the window. All of us part of the same universal dance of energy–a grace-filled choreography of consciousness.

I saw these connections, felt them, with my soul. Second sight. In a split second, my awareness stretched beyond three-dimensional “reality” to something infinitely expansive. I stepped into the magic of perceiving, if only for a moment, the all-encompassing orchestration that aligns even our heartbeats and breath as we live our seemingly separate lives. Blind or sighted, we are all connected. Every one of us on this planet—as well as all the stars and galaxies in the cosmos—lives and vibrates within one cohesive energetic presence that is Spirit manifesting. As we open to it more and more in our lives, second sight allows us to see that. It shows us the miraculous synchronicities at the heart of our world and fills our eyes with tears of gratitude that we are part of it all.

 

This Moment

Photograph © 2012 Peggy Kornegger
Photograph © 2012 Peggy Kornegger

Life experiences involving loss, pain, or fear, which we all encounter at one time or another, may throw us off kilter at first. We are often so attached to a particular static version of reality that we cannot accept change of any kind. But if we remain open to the totality of what is before us, we can access a greater wisdom: Life is both fleeting and eternal. We can see this seeming dichotomy with more clarity in times of difficulty or challenge. The tenuousness of life hits us full force. We realize that all we ever really have is this moment, but it contains all of eternity within it. With that awareness, we can appreciate every single second as if it were our first or our last. We can “hold Infinity in the palm of [our] hand, and Eternity in an hour,” as William Blake has so eloquently written.

The uncertain health diagnosis about my eyes that I’ve been living with over the last weeks has placed this wisdom front and center in my life. If I race forward in my mind with what-if scenarios or retreat backward into fear and regret, I have lost the moment that is right in front of me now. No matter what events are transpiring, this moment before me contains all of life. All of it, both extraordinary beauty and acute loss. When I can hold both of those parts within me in a complete embrace of acceptance, I am at peace. If I can witness my life as it unfolds, without judgment or expectation, fully grounded in the present moment, I am free.

It is not always easy, and I am not always calm and centered, but an ongoing practice in stillness and conscious awareness has helped me tremendously. As I sit in silence, breathing slowly and deeply, I open to an expansive awareness that is observing and experiencing the world through me. This awareness at the soul level is completely neutral, peaceful, and unlimited. It is pure spirit, pure love, in the largest sense of those words. Within that space, there is no struggle. Everything is just as it is, in perfectly orchestrated symmetry. Peace of mind, peace of heart and soul.

As I have faced the fragility of my own body and my own life, I have come to an ever-greater appreciation of each moment. I have surrendered again and again to uncertainty and shifting sands. It’s truly a never-ending practice, letting go into not knowing anything, into living each moment fresh and innocent of opinion. Adyashanti calls this “falling into grace.” And grace can be gentle or cutting; it will open your heart in whatever way it can. For with an open heart, we live in gratitude. We live in love, not fear. And that is why we are here on this beautiful blue planet, in this infinite universe.

My journey is not complete, nor will it be complete, ever. I continue to open my heart (and have it opened for me) in gratitude, embracing more with each breath, with every experience. In this moment—the fleeting and eternal now—I am grateful for all the blessings that fill my days: Light and darkness, sadness and joy, silence and sound, movement and rest. The flow of giving and receiving all that life so generously offers us. When I allow myself to stand naked and awestruck, freed of assumptions, before the vast universe, realizing my cells are intermingled with the stardust from distant galaxies, I clearly see and feel the oneness of which we are all a part. A oneness encapsulated in every single grace-filled moment.

 

Ask Yourself…

Photograph © 2015 Peggy Kornegger
Photograph © 2015 Peggy Kornegger
Growing up in a top-down society like ours, we learn very early to look to others for answers. Parents, teachers, bosses, presidents, religious leaders—we are taught that they have the answers, and we should follow their direction. God too is often presented to us as an external figure, a man sitting up in the sky somewhere who knows everything and whose commandments we should follow. Yet, so many of those directives and rules are man-made, created to keep people in line, keep them from questioning authority of any kind, so that the top-heavy status quo remains in place. But what if there is no authority higher than you? What if God, or infinite divine wisdom, lives inside you, inside all of us?

Gradually, cracks in the old infrastructure are appearing. As humans begin to awaken, they are realizing that they don’t want to be told what to do in every part of their lives. They want a responsive and interactive social structure. They want freedom and equality, not just lip service to it. In truth, genuine freedom and equality come into being when each person lives a life centered in authenticity, inner soul wisdom, and deep regard for and love of others. This is the world we are stepping into. These are the shifts in collective consciousness that are occurring on our planet. We are learning to look within for answers, share our insights with one another, and then create together a society that is based on egalitarian values and open-hearted kindness: each individual in balance with the whole, no one person more important or powerful than another.

How do we begin to live this day-to-day? How do we unlearn dependency on everything outside of us? I would suggest that it starts with a regular practice of looking inside ourselves for guidance. You probably have heard of the “higher self,” that entity that is connected to Source or Spirit. The higher self—or soul self, as I call it—is not just a new age concept. It is the part of you that is eternal, and more open and wise than the ego/mind, which tries so hard to figure everything out logically. The rational mind likes to organize, label, follow the rules; the soul exists in a place of pure being and divine connection. When we look to our soul selves—and in conjunction, our hearts—we are guided to the most expansive and loving responses to life and living.

In my own life, I am finding that soul guidance and heart wisdom are ever-present touchstones for living with integrity, joy, and deep regard for others and our beautiful planet. Lately, when challenges or conflicts arise in my internal or external life, I sometimes ask myself two key questions:

  • Do you want to live in fear or do you want to live in love?
  • Do you want to live in judgment or do you want to live in gratitude?

My soul’s answers to these questions are always quite clear and unequivocal. There is no doubt that the part of me that is infinite, eternal, and connected to All That Is wants to live from a place of love and gratitude. That doesn’t mean that I never experience fear or judgment; it just means they don’t predominate and crowd everything else out. When I remember to ask these questions (and it is a practice), I re-center myself in what is really important in life, in that which brings us all together rather than separates us. From the perspective of the heart and soul, there is nothing but oneness always; it is just our perceptions, our mental machinations, that tell us otherwise.

So, if you find yourself mentally spinning or emotionally off-kilter, at odds with life, take a deep breath and ask yourself, your soul self, for the answers. Come home to the deepest part of you. Whatever arises from that place is your own inner wisdom. It is uniquely yours, connected to the greater spirit of all things, and it will guide you perfectly throughout your life.

Morning Glory

Photograph © 2015 Peggy Kornegger
Photograph © 2015 Peggy Kornegger
“Everything is sacred.”—Panache Desai

The morning glories outside my door have been nearly tropical in their lush profusion this year. Huge heart-shaped leaves and purple flowers cover the porch ironwork in the rising sun. Each morning when I go outside, I feel a sense of awe at this breathtaking beauty coming from a few small seeds planted in the late spring. There are moments when gardeners feel like magicians, making bouquets of flowers appear out of thin air. Of course, the gardener is just the conduit, the helping hand that opens wide enough for living energy to flow through it. Mother Nature is the true magician, the source of glorious life here on Earth. As a gardener, I learn this on a daily basis—the absolutely unparalleled sacredness of everything around me. It is an awareness that keeps arising everywhere in my life, and in so many of our lives, these days. I consider it one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever received.

This past July I spent a week at Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, New York, taking part in a weeklong workshop/retreat with Panache Desai, whose programs and events I’ve been attending for several years.* This particular week seemed to be an expansion of all that I’ve experienced with him and with the other people who attend, many of whom are good friends now. As a group, we reached a deeper level of oneness and soul connection than ever before. The divine energy moving through all of us was so intense that it could not be contained within time or space. Seeing the sacred everywhere, in every moment, became a constant. Each person’s eyes shone with light and love. Conversations during and between sessions were deeply meaningful, rich with laughter, tears, and heart-full sharing. As I walked down the hill to the dining hall each day, I saw before me a dazzling world: The color spectrum itself seemed to widen to include new shades and hues. At the end of the week, I felt wide open; life flowed through me without impediments—soulfully, sacredly.

A few weeks later, my partner and I took the train to New York to see Fun Home, lesbian cartoonist Alison Bechdel’s tragicomic 2006 memoir turned into an extremely powerful and moving Broadway musical. In it, “Alison” looks back at her complicated relationship with her closeted gay father who committed suicide. Because it was theatre in the round, it was a fairly intimate setting (we were in the first row), and it almost seemed as if we were living the heart-wrenching events along with the characters. At the end, as everyone stood and cheered, and the actors took their bows, the raw emotion we were all feeling was reflected back and forth on the faces, and in the eyes, of actors and audience alike. I couldn’t stop crying, because of the story and because of the people around me, on and off stage. It was a moment of shared humanity and oneness that seemed truly sacred to me.

More and more, we are being moved to embrace all of life in moments like these. A friend or family member will unexpectedly speak their heart’s truth in a sudden rush of vulnerability and honesty. A complete stranger will share a smile or a gesture of generosity. The sun will rise, or set, in stunning pinks and golds. A cat or dog companion will gaze into our eyes with pure love. Someone dear to us may become ill or die. Life will touch us in a thousand different ways, both joyful and painful, during the course of any given day. And at last we are opening to receive the sweetness and power of those moments. We are becoming fully present for life as it moves through us, giving us the greatest show on Earth. Morning glory, evening gratitude. Everything sacred—everywhere, in every moment.

* I’ve written about my experiences with Panache in several other blog posts and in my book Lose Your Mind, Open Your Heart.